Red or Black, YOU choose.

Hi P,

Sorry to hear of your recent relapse and good luck on your journey through recovery.

As regards a joint account, it's not something that myself and wife have as understandably she doesn't want any of her accounts linked to any of mine for the sake of her credit rating. She does however have full access to my bank account, my credit report etc.. and she is in charge of all finances. Anything you can do to avoid betting, just do it mate.

I stopped and started more times than I care to remember, and now that I know my wife is in charge and has full access then even if I wanted to gamble again I couldn't. Not with her finding out first.

Good luck. PA

Hi Captain, I was drawn to this diary because my daft hubby left the football on last night whilst I was tackling some painting in the kitchen & after some ridiculous game showbased on the penny pushers it switched over to roulette & I could take the "red or black, you chose" no more & had to abandon the paintbrush to deal with it with the firm touch of the off button.

My gambling was done in the bookies where they didn't take credit cards so I only carried a joint one, knowing I would be busted if I tried anything. The joint account is a difficult one because it makes more sense for our loved ones not to be financially tied to us...If you already have one, can your partner keep a regular eye on that @ a very low balance & have everything else 'locked away'?

I know you gave GA a shot, don't let your addict brain make excuses...Recovery isn't comfortable. Getting out of your comfort zone with counselling or @ GA helps us face our fears. I am a gobby 44 year old female who will happily tap the shoulder of the person sitting next to me on the train if I want to talk about my feelings but I struggle with my therapies too...We're not the 1st but people who push through the discomfort are the ones leading calmer, more fulfilled lives now. Barriers are good, retraining the brain is way better.

You'll always be an addict, Taurus or not, stubbornness can't fix us but you can use your drive & determination to arrest it now before it carries over into your 30's - ODAAT

Hey guys,

Thank you for getting back in touch with some insight. I think you've both made very good points about the joint account, and i think keeping the balance within it low is a good idea. We don't live in the same city, but as long as there is enough to getting shopping there's no need to keep a larger amount in it leading to temptation.

Can i ask, do you both regularly go to GA meetings? Or just as and when you feel like you need it?

Hope you're both doing well. I am 5 days in now, slowly starting to feel better, a lonnnnnnggggg way to go though.

P

Good afternoon Capatain,

I also live in Aberdeenshire I went and spoke to a counseller as I thought I could beat this myself and soon realized that help was needed spokke to the counsellor twice and have never looked back.

Let me know if you want his number cost forty pounds a go well worth it.

Good luck stay strong stay G/f

Malc

GA needs commitment to work, especially if you're not getting support from elsewhere. I've heard it said many a time...It's really time to buckle down when you start thinking you don't need them. I am a shift worker so can't get to mine regularly, that being said, I had had sufficient support & already learned how to abstain from gambling before I started attending. GA is about more than just stopping, it's about adjusting our warped thought processes & leading a more fulfilled life where we no longer rely on the crutch of addiction to get through.

Some people @ my place do 6 meetings a week (AA recommended as many meetings as days you would drink when I attended an open one of those), some 1...I would say try & commit to @ least one a week until you get some gamble free time under your belt.

There is a long way to go, for all of us but having support on our journey gives us strength that we can't always find inside of us. Congrats on your days so far 🙂 Keep building on them - ODAAT