So I have admitted to being a cg and have been trying to stop for around a year.
I went to a few ga meetings but had to stop due to giving birth. They worked while I had them, but now I've been asking for another meeting they said I have been put to the bottom of the list.
It's killing me now thinking I could have spent the last £50 I spent an hour ago on my daughter..on new clothes.. towards the deposit for the mortgage or paying off my overdraft.
I went to the bank and told them I needed to set up a way to pay off my overdraft but they just said I can pay as a direct debit straight into my other account.. well I must have put around £400 into there these past few months.. but I could still get hold of it which meant I gambled it. I told the bank I had an ongoing problem with this and they said there was nothing they could do. I don't see me paying it off anytime soon :(.
I have closed all my accounts and any sites they are linked with but still manage to find another.. even if it takes 20 minutes. I won £100 earlier but all I could think was I will withdraw at 50.. I'll withdraw at 40 until there was nothing left... upping the staked hoping for a big win.. but got nothing.
It's my 23rd birthday next week and can't even afford to go out or treat myself because I owe too much out from what I've borrowed either to gamble or to pay off debts I borrowed before to gamble. Not like I deserve a treat anyway after all this. After all its my stupid fault.
Why do I not think of my daughter when I get the urge? She's sat at the side of me asleep most of the time I gamble!!! It's her birthday next month too and I have got hew a few presents but nothing special. I feel like the worst mum ever. I need serious help because I just break down and scream.
Hoping the rest of today will be day one of not gambling. I know I can do this.. For my daughter.. For me.. For my family.. I have to do this. I have managed to stop smoking 2 weeks ago. This should be easy compared.. but the demons in me won't let this be easy.
I will try. I will succeed.
Hello gtrdream,
Welcome to the Forum. I hope you find here lots of encouragement and support by other members.
It can be challenging having a baby and if you are struggling with gambling it could make it even more difficult. There is a lot of help available, so you don’t need to be on your own. You could contact us and speak to an advisor who would explain your options. For example, we provide one to one counselling sessions free of charge. We could also give you contacts of agencies that could advise you on how to best manage your financial situation. There also ways of blocking yourself from accessing betting sites.
You could contact us seven days a week from 8am until midnight either by using the Netline or by calling the Helpline.
All the best,
Ana
Forum Admin
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