Today is the worst day .....i managed to get to 175 days gamble free I don't wana sound arrogant but I done really well didn't gamble once I finally thought I'd got a handle on my gambling. Today I was having a bad day it was payday and I didn't have much money left after I out aside bill money and without a thought like on a complete whim I went into the bookies and lost 260 pound on the roulette machine. I mean I can't work out why I went in there... I know why, I was trying to gamble the last 50 quid I had to see if i could double it or win big but like always I went too far and gambled my bill money. I'm absolutely devastated and feeling pretty low at the moment. I was in there for literally 10 minutes and then it was gone....iv spent the whole day kicking myself and beating myself up. After all this time I should have known better. I can't believe how stupid I was. It wasn't planned and I'm just really upset with myself after having 175 days gamble free I finally thought I'd beat this addiction! I think I can just about get by this month but I'm going to have to scrimp and live on the bread line all because of 1 slip
Hi Purple29. Unfortunately the addiction can never be 'beaten'. It can however be arrested one day at a time. Also once we become compulsive gamblers there is no going back to being a 'normal' gambler again no matter how many days gamble free are racked up. I have been in your shoes many times before and even managed to abstain for 2 years before but the addiction NEVER goes away, it's always there waiting in the shadows.
Total abstinence is the only way to go.
All the best
Hi Purple,
Just read your post and all I can say is well done!!! Well done for realising what you had done and posting back on the forum.
4 years ago I went 6 months, so much the same time as you, without gambling. I was an ex gambler who had beaten the addiction and was never going to gamble again. Or so I thought!!!!
I have no idea why I placed that first bet again. Where I went wrong though was instead of confiding in someone and realising what I was doing, I headed down a 4 year path of self destruction which left me thousands in debt, nearly lost my house, my family and probably even my life.
You have realised what you have done and you have come on here and confided. It doesn't need to go any further. The 175 days was a great number, but just because you have had one day doesn't mean you can't start again. As Sam says above, the addiciton never goes away, it's how you learn to deal with it and understand it.
But don't beat yourself up over one bad day. It happens. Onwards and upwards mate.
Good luck, PA.
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