roulette/fobt hell.

Day 23.just a lazy Sunday today which sounds boring, but in the middle of a gambling stint i would be itching to make an excuse to my wife why I had to go out, petrol clothes,meet a mate,diy!!! Anything to get myself to the bookies and Feed my fix.I Can see how sad this is now

Don't you just love lazy Sunday's...I don't think they're boring @ all 🙂

Isn't it weird to look back & wonder 'why?!'? Looks like your fog is lifting nicely, there will be times when you have to fight harder for your recovery so make sure you keep these lovely memories @ the forefront of your mind - ODAAT

Morning pal,glad to see that you're still going strong,we are on around the same day,feels great doesn't it!Keep it up mate!

Thanks for dropping by mate! I hope the reading didn't put you to sleep 😉

Ha ha,no I think all the diaries make great reading,mostly horror stories that have happy endings so it's all good.keep it up pal!

Day 26 :-). the days are passing by nicely now,and don't get me wrong like a lot of people say on hear I still think about gambling at least 10 times a day especially on my 3 hour round commute,but the difference is now I am remembering all the damage it causes and the days of self loathing after which is helping fight the urges.

Plus the great people on here giving advice and support which makes things easier.

Good luck everyone.

P.S Come on forest, big game for us sat against the sheep (Derby).

4 weeks in your pocket 🙂

I know what you mean about thinking about it loads..I too am past the impending sense of doom it used to bring because now I control it rather than it me!

Stay strong - ODAAT

Thanks ODAAT and NT a month into the recovery and things are definitely better.

It was payday on Thursday and for the first time in absolute ages I did nt go and gamble,when Oct,nov, December pay days came last year I was actually worried about the day because I knew I would just blow it all within a week, and that's if I got lucky and had a few wins at the start.

What a lovely feeling it must be to realise that you're starting to leave fear behind 🙂

Congrats on 30 days mate - I make that a month 🙂

Day 34.I m annoyed with myself about all the, time, money, friends, lost by gambling over the years, but at least this site has help me find some hope that a future for me is out there, just got to get a grip myself,and grab it.

I m finding quite easy at the moment to resist the slight urges I get, but know the big test is probably only just round the corner.

Stay strong ppl

Day 38, going well at the moment but don't want to get to excited!! I know that I could easily slip back into the dark times in a jiffy But I am hoping that because this time I really want to give gambling the proverbial two fingers I can win for the first time in my life.

Day 46, not really getting as much satisfaction from not gambling as I thought:-( maybe early days still, or just the fact my trail of debt and destruction is always on my mind. 20+ years of gambling and this is the longest period I ve gone without fruit machines or roulette, very sad state of affairs if you ask me!!!! But on a more positive note thanks everyone on here for the help so far, and especially Phil for doing 2015 challenge which is keeping me focused.

Congratulations on Day 46 mate 🙂

If you want my opinion, I actually think it is very early days given how long you were caught in the trap...I'm not sure exactly when my fog started lifting but the shame I felt for so long doesn't trouble me so much now! I think I get what you are saying about not getting satisfaction because my journey has been fairly easy & although I am ready for the urges to strike @ any time, I don't feel it is really challenging me! I am grateful, this is the better option! I never expected fireworks from being in recovery so I have been able to take perverse enjoyment out of just being normal (feeling the wind on my face) & not waking up terrified as to what damage I was going to reap on myself this time! I think once you start to let go of where you were & figure out what to do with your life, feeling normal may just prove to be satisfactory after all!

Stay strong, stay focused - ODAAT

Well I am happy to say the first big milestone is here, the big 50 whoo whooo. I know it's still a long time before I can say I'm free from this addiction(some might say your never free from it) but it's a great start for me personally because I ve never got this far before. All the best, Mark.

Congratulations on your 1st half century...Yay 🙂