Where do I start?
I never really got into gambling til my early 20s when I worked in a restaurant next to a bookies.
On my split shift I would go in and put the odd coupon on then eventually found myself on the roulette machines.
As the years past I lost thousands and thousands of pounds , my friends and some of my family.
Eventually on 28th May 2008 I had hit rock bottom and had to stop, I attended ga twice a week and slowly but surely picked myself back off the ground paying off debt and gaining the trust of my loved ones.
In 2014 I bought my own house settled down and in March 2015 my son was born.
Now at the start of 2017 i have slipped up and found myself gambling again.
I have lost all my savings and owe 1000 pounds to the bank.
On the grand scale of things it isn't much debt but I know that if I don't get my act together that will turn into much more and worse than that ill lose my house and family.
Right now I'm back on day 2, I've given up control of my debit card and cut my visa into a million pieces to stop the temptation.
Today I had some quality family time taking my son and partner to the park to feed the ducks which helped clear my head a little.
I don't want to mess this up, If I can't stop for them who can I stop for??
I will continue to live one day at a time or one hour at a time if times get hard but I must get back on track.
*feel free to leave some comments as any advice is good advice*
Evening Killie
Im really happy you have started a diary as I enjoy reading everyones diaries before I post in mine.
Like when we spoke before, you have done this before and you can do it again, if the desire is there everything else takes care of itself.
Great to read about you spending time with the family, thats what its all about really there genuinely is so much more to be focused on in life than the spin of a roulette wheel/ betslip. It has only taken me few days to realise that and its like the fog is lifted once we start being honest with ourselves and the people on here.
I for one will be reading your posts daily so I look forward to it.
All the best mate
Hi Killie
Nice to speak to you on chat and see you have started your diary. Let it all out everyday, every emotion and thought. That's what I do. When I have a moment I re-read to see why I stopped and started this from day 1.
I'm not saying this is right or for everyone. It's worked for me so far.
It's nice to see you are spending positive time with your family. It's them and especially your son your doing this for.
All the best Dan
Thanks for the comments folks.
Today's the start of day 3 just leaving for work soon.
Got my positive head on but I know work can get me stressed sometimes so I'll need to be aware of this.
Will update tonight
good to see you are day 3, hope to see you on chat later and hearing about your day
Day 3 almost complete
Starting to feel guilty about what I've done as we have some nights away and a family holiday planned later in the year and the reality is if I don't get my act together I wont be able to go.
Scared to look at my bank balance as the bills will be coming off the overdraft as well as the money I've lost.
Trying to keep positive but it's proving to be harder said than done
Day 4
Not much to report today, been working all day so haven't had time to think about gambling.
Gonna log onto the chat room it's always good to speak to people on there and get their views on things
Had a good discussion in the chat room tonight.
It's amazing how talking to others can change your mindset and make u more determined to stick at it.
Couldn't get on yesterday as i was busy at work then out last night but pleased to say day 5 went well and I'm now into day 6.
Feel as if I'm in a good place at the moment, no gambling thoughts creeping in.
Just need to keep myself busy.
Change of routine, change the way we think about money and gambling.
The only way to win is not to gamble.
Malc
Day 7.
I'm on holiday from work today and the Mrs is at Work so today could be a struggle as I may find myself at a lose end.
Good thing is I'm aware that I may struggle and making plans to keep myself busy by taking my son to the soft play.
Hope everyone is doing well
Hi Killie!
Cracking idea to make sure you keep yourself busy and in an environment where it is impossibe to gamble. I'm not believer, but "the devil makes work for idle hands" pretty much sums up this gambling lark. I love that "I am Addiction" poem, because it describes it perfectly, all sneaky and unrelenting. You go and have a good time watching the little 'un have a whole load of proper, healthy fun. Best wishes.
So week one has now been successfully negotiated.
Going to Dundee to watch my team play today, I know there will be gambling chat but everyone I'm with knows my position and wont pester me with it.
killieboy wrote: So week one has now been successfully negotiated. Going to Dundee to watch my team play today, I know there will be gambling chat but everyone I'm with knows my position and wont pester me with it.
Dundee - Kilmarnock on a bleak winter's day.....you are a glutton for punishment :)....and there pies are nowhere as good as yours.
Enjoy the game - Just keep your will power strong mate...it will be 0 - 0 anyway.
Im heading to Troon so will pass you on the road.
Sbb
Haha thanks for the comments mate. .
Nobody will ever beat the killie pie!
Hopefully we can take the 3pts and get into the top 6
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