Round 2

Thanks sbb, that's a good way of looking at pay day and as I mentioned before I don't have my bank card so hopefully can't do any damage

I dont know what to expect from today's game after losing out manager during the week and we've not beat Aberdeen in a while.
Knowing killie they'll probably get a result, we always do things the awkward way.

Day 17.

Struggling today, can't get silly thoughts out my head like what if i didn't gamble my money and how stupid I was to lose it all.

Need to pick myself back up.

Hang in there Killie ... I'm finding it tough, too, Stength in numbers.

Currently sitting in my car crying my heart out as I've been so Silly and gambled more money.

I can't believe I've been so weak.
My partner was out and I found my bank card and went online and lost another 1000 pounds.

I am so stupid.

killieboy wrote: Currently sitting in my car crying my heart out as I've been so Silly and gambled more money. I can't believe I've been so weak. My partner was out and I found my bank card and went online and lost another 1000 pounds. I am so stupid.

If you are serious you will now put real blocks on Killie.

A painful slip, but only a slip none the less - you need to get focused and bet back in the saddle.

You are throwing more than money away mate - trust me I have I have been there.

DO NOT TRY TO WIN IT BACK JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN PAID.

Accept the loss, regroup and move forward.

You have too much to lose...

Sbb

Killie I'll take nothing away and neither should you from the previous 9 year's you did bet free.

But I will say you're on a slippery slope and fail to act now you be back to square one in no time.
You know you have it in you to achieve.

Remember why the journey started back in 2008
You can do this

Keep fighting

Thanks folks.

Been awake all night and now Up for work.
I can't believe what I've done it's almost as if I enjoy hurting myself.

I read on here about blocking My bank card from being used online, can anyone advise me the best way to go about it?

Came home from work and confessed everything to my partner, i've laid everything on the table and she has been so so supportive to me.
This is another reason I can't continue down this road I love my family to bits.

Gonna look into this not using my bank card online if anyone has any advice on it I'd appreciate it.

Feel like there's a giant weight off my shoulders now cause I've been open

On the bright side ( if there can be such a thing after last night)
Today is wages day and I've not done in my wages too.

Back on to update my diary but don't really know what to say.

I've set myself my own personal goal of getting to my son's birthday in March being gamble free, if I can do that I'll set another one then.
I believe I personally need to set goals like this just now to help me through.
I feel speaking out the other day has helped my head a bit, need to remember not to bottle up my feelings although this is easier said than done.

Had a busy few days which have helped me to have no gambling thoughts.
Need to keep myself occupied like this more often as when I've time in my hands I tend to think too much

Got a day off work today and some time to myself.
Started keeping myself busy already by making some soup for the family.
If the weather stays nice I will go a walk into town, Need to keep myself busy until the Mrs gets home from work

Hi Killerboy

I too have been off work today and treated myself to a nice facial (just one of the many things I can do when I am not losing all my money)!! Like you, when I was last on here, I managed to abstain for just over two and a half years and I truly believe that this was down to me setting mini goals each month, no matter how small they seemed. I would then tick them off, as and when I had achieved each one.

My big thing for me was always payday and I spent so many months, having no money left, as little as even hours after being paid on some occasions!! This was someone who always considered herself to be so sensible - but realised that I was also a risk-taker too!

It's really great that you have been able to open up to your wife and she is fully supporting you. I had the same with my sister and although she couldn't fully appreciate how my mind worked sometimes, nevertheless, she was never judgemental and remains the same today (although she does not know about my recent inheritance losses). I just couldn't tell her that, hence one of the reasons I have returned to get back on track swiftly. Did your wife not have your card in her purse when she went out? That definitely would have meant that you would not have been able to use it. Just a though for future.

Wishing you the best of luck and get cracking on those mini goals. I will too!!

Our Lady.

Thanks our lady. I hope you are well.

I have mentioned to her to keep it on her at all times and she's agreed to do it
I have also ordered a new card as I knew the cvv number so when it arrives I've said she can open it and scratch off the cvv so I don't have a clue what it is.

Was reading about those pre paid cards in the other section of the forum where she would load money into it for me every week and I couldn't use it online either.
I think this is the way forward for me.

Get K9 software on your home pc. It's free. Get your wife to create the admin account and let her choose the password, that way you won't be able to work around the blocking if you wer tempted. It gives you a list of areas to block and gambling is at the top. Click it and save then exit. reboot the pc and that's it done permanently. Any gambling stuff is a "page blocked" message. I needed to do this as I'm quite tech savvy and able to do stuff that most people cant on a computer. I got my wife to do the admin password and the fact I don't know the password is a big weight off me so I wont' go to try and break the password.

Onwards and upwards fella!

Thanks mccawpa, Will need to get this sorted asap.
Will also need to install It to my mobile phone too if possible