Round 2

Nothing much to report.
One week on from wages day, most of the bills have been paid for this month and still got the rest.
Got some time away with my friends and family coming up over the next few months so really need to save them and not gamble!

Another day further away from the madness.

Was trusted to go food shopping on my own this morning.

To Joe public this doesn't mean much but to us compulsive gamblers it's a massive challenge to be left in charge of money/ bank cards.
Glad to report I passed the challenge.

It's the little things like this that get the respect of your family back and helps on the road to being gamble free.

Onwards and upwards

Go you doing the shopping...it is a big thing to be given money and a list and kudos to you for managing that. I am going shopping later for food. It is a battle everyday that we must keep winning!!!!

Thanks Jl35
It's the little things like this that reassure us we can live like normal people again.

Actually in the house just now and still have my bank card in my pocket just now but with scratching off the cvv it's totally useless to use online.
One of the wisest blocks I've put in place so far imo.

Just returned home from a weekend away with my Mrs.
Was good to have some time alone and clear the head a bit.

Still feel bad at what I've done but i can't dwell on it.

Hi Killerboy

Just wanted to say well done on your progress so far. Feeling "Normal" is a great thing isn't it? I remember back three years ago when I used to go shopping and used to see other women paying for shopping and thinking to myself "they look like they have plenty of money in their big purses! (At the time, I had reverted to the tiniest purse ever, as I hardly had any spare money). Crazy times they were and it was like I was having an outer body experience!! I am happy to say that these days, I am back to using a large purse once more. So yes, I for one, very much understand the need for normality in ones life.

Take care and keep up your good progress.

Our Lady.

Killie,

Good to see you tonight, glad Mrs. Killie enjoyed her time away, and your head got a little space...Keep living the dream, am rooting for you.

Julie x

Thanks for the comments ladies.
Signed up for the GA chat room last night with several others from here but couldn't really get into it. Will try again tonight maybe.

Back to work this morning after a long weekend off, got a busy week ahead.

Hopefully I can keep myself occupied and remain GF.

Forgot about my PayPal account and how it can be used online so shutting that down asap so I'm not tempted by it.

My sons birthday and mothers day are on the horizon, using both these events to spur myself on to buy them something nice and keep myself GF.

Haven't updated for a few days
Been on reading other diaries etc but when it comes to updating mine I'm struggling to write down my emotions.
On a positive note I've still got money in the bank so must be doing something right.

Hey Killerboy

It's a great feeling when we see we still have money in our bank account isn't it? Instead of frantically counting the days down to our next pay day with hardly any money!

Take care and keep checking that bank balance.

Our Lady.

Killie, don't worry about just reading along....its your diary, you write what you want, when you want.

Had a bit of a strange day today, everything was going well until lunchtime at work then the Cheltenham chat started. I found myself getting frustrated / angry / upset so walked away and sat in my car til break time was over.
Then came home from work and had an argument with the Mrs about something stupid.
Both of these are really unlike me, cause firstly horse racing chat doesn't usually bother me and secondly me and the Mrs never usually argue.
Hopefully these are both just a one off

Killie,

I hope that argument which are just words is sorted now. As I remember you were not a horsey gambler. But there is a huge focus on gambling this week. Be good to yourself, be kind to the effort that your putting in. I love to see you in chat Killie, your have such a lovely personable way with you, and I think I can even tell that through a screen. 🙂

Julie x

So the goal of reaching my son's birthday gf has now passed, the next small goal I'm setting is to get to mothers day.
I've been off work the past few days using up holidays but been putting my time to good use and keeping myself busy.
The argument from the other day has blown over and I have got my positive mindset back. Long may it continue