Hi all, day1
well its been a while since I've been on here, I first came on here in 2012 and seeked your help and advice, back then I lasted over a year gamble free before I dropped back into bad habits, I've spent the last few years stopping,starting,stopping and starting and now found myself back in loads of debt and about to lose my relationship! needing your help again!
I've just been reading through my old diary and found myself sitting here in tears reading it thinking to myself where has that man gone,once again he has been consumed and lost to the world off a compulsive gambler!
Well I believe the time has come to try and find that man once more, grab hold off his positivity and dertimination and shake him back into my life!
TODAY I WILL SAVE MY MONEY FOR A BRIGHTER FUTURE!
Hello weaselhawk
I hope you find the forum helpful once agian it sounds like it was a good support for you when you were using the forum in2012
There is other support available you may find helpful. There is counselling which is free and there is support with Gamblers Anonymous group meetings. Gamcare helpline advisors are available to listen to your concerns from 8am -midnight everyday and they will be able to tell you more about this support and give you information on your nearest counselling service and gamblers anonymous meetings. You can contact the gamcare helpline advisors through the netline http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline#.VpwGp_mLQdU or by calling the helpline freephone telephone number 0808 80 20 133
You may find it helpful to contact Stepchange who will give you free debt advice http://www.stepchange.org/ . They can also be contacted on 0800 138 1111 they are open 8am -8pm monday -friday and 8am -4pm on saturdays.
Keep posting weaselhawk we are here to support you
Caroline
Day 2
well busy day at work keeping me occupied and no money to gamble with even if I wanted to!
loads to do still as need to speak to my partner and explain everything! It seems so much harder this time around as have so many other factors in my life! Not gonna bore you all with details but the short story is that I moved in with my my partner and her nephew in March knowing it would be hard as he is a troubled kid but didn't realize it would be this hard and ultimately it is this that has returned me to gambling as a way to escape the stress of him and is attitude! I now it's wrong to blame other people for my downfall but I find my self in a situation where I have a women I love with all my heart but don't feel comfortable in my own home because of her nephew, but if I tell her she will side with him and kick me out and I lose everything again, hence a return to gambling and my usual attitude of sod it all, can't win either way so may as well dig a bigger hole!
i know I need to tell her the whole truth but scared I will lose her, the gambling I actually think she will understand more but the other issue is a whole different ball game, maybe I should be another forum for all this! Lol
TODAY I CHOOSE TO SAVE MY MONEY FOR MY FUTURE HAPPINESS
Day 3 no gambling,to busy wallowing in self pity and wondering what the future holds!
we'll the inevitable conversation was had last night! Told her that I can't continue living under the same roof as her nephew as I've got to the situation where I get agitated and stressed by him just walking into a room and that's not fair on him as it's my feeling and head that is the issue there rather than him! I need to take myself out off the situation that causing my gambling and this is the only way I can do it!
obviously told her about the recent gambling and debt as well, as predicted it didn't go down to well but she kind off understands, where we go and what happens from here is any bodys guess but atleast I have finally opened up to her and bared all so either way we can move on and see what happens!
TODAY I CHOOSE TO SAVE MY MONEY FOR MY FUTURE HAPPINESS
Welcome back, and well done on baring all, I can see a strong, focused and determined person in that last post,
Wishing you the very best, on your journey, keep posting it does help.
Suzanne xx
Thanks Suzanne, I am determined and positive but my only problem is not knowing what's going to happen next, I now I can pay my debt of in under a year and get back on track but not so sure my relationship will be the same! 🙁
She's had a big shock in one go, she will feel betrayed, humiliated and devastated, when we tell all, we don't know what the outcome will be, but you did the right thing in telling her, we can't live in a relationship,that is based on our lies, secrecy and false positives.
Sending you strong thoughts and I hope it goes well with your OH, (she will be hurting deeply now)
Suzanne xxx
Day 4
Thanks suzanne for kind words, I no she is hurting and it's my fault! Hopefully we can sort things out and all will be fine!
Well no gambling and no thought either as concentrating on putting my life back together, organised with a friend to move in with him which will help with my recents triggers as I won't have any responsibility towards her nephew and won't have to deal with his behaviour which is my main problem! Hopefully I can then concentrate on putting my relationship back together as we will stop arguing about him and how to deal with him!! Here's hoping for a good outcome where everyone ends up happy!
TODAY I CHOOSE TO SAVE MY MONEY FOR MY FUTURE HAPPINESS
Day 5 pay day!!!
we'll another mental day at work, had no thoughts of gambling as just worrying about what happens next! Got paid today as get paid weekly and paid £300 of my debt which felt good! Normally I would of just spent the lot within an hour whilst sitting in my van having a cigarette.
agreed with partner then I'm gonna move out on Sunday, so guess we will see what happens next after that! Loads to still talk about in regards to her nephew and where this leaves us but hopefully the only way is up from here know!
TODAY I CHOOSE TO SAVE MY MONEY FOR MY FUTURE HAPPINESS
Have you thought about getting counselling or help from somewhere like GA?
Day 6
Another busy day and still mentally exhausted from all the stuff going in at home! Still no gambling and no thoughts as just wanna concentrate on future.
Hi triangle, thanks for post, I have done ga before but it wasn't for me as my local one based around God and stuff and I haven't got a religious bone in my body! I am however now about to see a councilor/ nlp practitioner who hopefully can help me change my mindset!
TODAY I CHOOSE TO SAVE MY MONEY FOR MY FUTURE HAPPINESS.
Day 7
Another busy day at work and another gamble free day.
Spending the night in with girlfriend tonight and having our last romantic Eve together before I move out tomorrow!
TODAY I CHOOSE YO SAVE MY MONEY FOR MY FUTURE HAPPINESS
Day 8
well I've had better days! Moved out into my best mates house this morning,emotional start to the day and then was susposed to go to my nans 70th celebrations but unfortunately she ended up in hospital after a stroke, she is fine and doing well but makes you realise how we take life for granted! Puts my gambling problems into perspective and on a positive note another gamble free day to chalk up!
As my mate said things can only get better from here....
TODAY I CHOOSE TO SAVE MY MONEY FOR MY FUTURE HAPPINESS
Day 9
only 1 more day and I've hit double figures, been to see my nan today who is making a great recovery and is so positive, gonna draw some strength from her amazing positivity and beat this compulsion for good. I will get my life back and stop this stupid cycle of beating myself up! What is in the past is gone so time to start looking to the future.......
TODAY I CHOOSE TO SAVE MY MONEY FOR MY FUTURE HAPPINESS
Well done bud you've had a tricky weekend to get through and you've done it gamble free.
KTF
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