So I lost it again, why oh why oh why!! Every time I stop I end up on a binge somewhere down the line! After losing an incredibly large amount of money with bills coming in, something struck with me yesterday and I spent the whole day crying at the realisation of what I have become, in this secret life, failing everyone around me and for what, because I'm an addict. All I can think is how my family would be better off with out me screwinh everything up, it's hard to see a way out of what I have caused at the moment. I scared myself with just how close I was to doing something silly and for that reason, I have stopped, I must stop and I must stay stopped. I know this won't be an easy process but I'm going to fight it with everything I have got. Heres to day 2.
Hi Mrs_me. You have definitely done the right thing coming to this forum for support. I like yourself am battling this awful addiction. I have come to realise that your family do need me and yours need you. We have made mistakes in the past but they are now behind us. A bright future awaits you without the gambling. Take care and please stay positive.
Take care and be kind to yourself.
Dave X
Good luck to you. I was where you are now a couple of weeks ago. I considered suicide and I'm 22 years of age with my whole life ahead of me. Crazy how this addiction can suck all hope. However in just two weeks I already feel so much better, i'm still in financial s*** and there's no easy fix for that, but gambling certainly won't solve the problem. However, without the turmoil of gambling life somehow gets better, it's time that's really precious and when you start doing fun things with loved ones again you realise how great life is. I'd advise you to try and tell someone about your problem, as I know without my mum now taking temporary control of my finances I probably would have relapsed. I've also found that counselling really helps. I wish you the best of luck and I know life will improve for you
Thank you for your reply Dave, it's good to know I am not alone. I'm going to fight this with everything I have got, there's no going back now. Thank you for your kind words. I hope your day has been a good one x
Lego1993 wrote:
Good luck to you. I was where you are now a couple of weeks ago. I considered suicide and I'm 22 years of age with my whole life ahead of me. Crazy how this addiction can suck all hope. However in just two weeks I already feel so much better, i'm still in financial s*** and there's no easy fix for that, but gambling certainly won't solve the problem. However, without the turmoil of gambling life somehow gets better, it's time that's really precious and when you start doing fun things with loved ones again you realise how great life is. I'd advise you to try and tell someone about your problem, as I know without my mum now taking temporary control of my finances I probably would have relapsed. I've also found that counselling really helps. I wish you the best of luck and I know life will improve for you
Thank you for your reply, it is encouraging to hear you are 2 weeks in, this will be such a big step for me. There's no way I could tell anyone, if my husband knew he'd leave me for sure. I'm looking forward to the coming days I just need to realise that money is gone, I've made a massive mistake but I need to get through this somehow, I must. It really scared me, I am 27 and all I could think about was how to end it all,but then I realised this morning my children need me, it wouldn't be fair on anyone but whatever came over me yesterday I was so close and I don't want that so hoping for brighter times ahead. Hope your day has been a good one x
Brighter times definitely lie ahead if you stop today. Just don't surcumb to the temptation to go back as soon as you get some more money in, I kept doing this time and time again and my life spiralled downwards. You're aboloutely right your kids need you. You're their mum and their hero. I hope you have another gamble free day tomorrow x
I have self excluded from all the sites I use today, so I'm sure I have everything blocked. You're words are uplifting, and made me smile. I feel being around people such as yourself who understand this is possible to overcome. Wishing you a good day ahead x
Hey Mrs me. Welcome back to the forum. I was just reading your other threads and see you have been fighting this fight for a long time. I think we all have relapsed probably a lot of times. I think I first said I'm stopping gambling about 10 years ago, yet 25 days ago I was still at it. I'm sure you know how good this site is so just try and log in any time you get the urge to gamble. Help is always here and with your blocks in place, you know you can win this fight
Hello wishicouldstop,
I have indeed been here many times before never lasting a long time. But something snapped in me the other day, I know I shouldn't try to keep remembering how that felt but I'm trying to to try and help me remember why I can't keep doing this. I've got a full month to get through til payday and can't seem to see how to do it with a family to care for, my own stupidity. I will be logging on here frequently as I found in the past that has helped. Wishing you a good day ahead and well done on 25 days. X
Morning,
This is a tough post to write. Your title says it all Secret Life. Gambling thrives on secrets and lies. I understand your fears I had them and yes it did cost me my relationship. I knew it would but I couldn't stop and ultimately I was just causing them and me more pain and heartache.
This isn't the only outcome read Merc, loxxie and Dan1985's diary to name a few. They are all winning this fight and the key is they have got this out in the open and are getting help and support from partners.
I don't mean to to be preachy and get not ever situation is the same. If you can find someone to confide in.
I wish you the best that this time is the one.
KTF
Hi KTF,
I really want to tell him, but there's no way he would understand, if i even say something out of turn he doesn't speak to me for days. I have confided in a family member though and I'm glad to get it all off my chest. Thanks for your reply
Hi Mrs_me. I'm really pleased to read that you have been able to confide in somebody. We all definitely need an outlet to offload rather than bottle it all up inside. Take care and stay positive.
Dave X
Hey....take a read of my diary...it may help..it may not..but lifes better for me now....
I've nothing to hide....so nothing for hubby to moan about..so nothing for me to be scared off...I wish you well...take one day at a time...life can get better ....if you don't gamble...good luck love x
Thank you for replies, gosh these 2 days have been tough, from crying to guilt to shame. I'm not sure what's different but I've never felt like this any of the times I've quit before maybe it was the realisation that it's finally over, just pray I stay strong to get through this. One day at a time, one day at a time. X
Well done on telling someone makes sure you use them to help you get through this it won't be easy but it can be done
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