So been on here couple of days now, have been undecided on making my own diary but reading other people has been so inspiring to me its helped so much.
So I am 26 always been a gambler for as long as i can remember use to me more just fruit machines and nothing els but past few years it gone on to online, scratch cards bingo halls (not the bingo just slots room) just any type of gamling really and has become limitless for me I will just go into a mode where I won't stop until I have nothing left!
I have tried in past to quit going on cool off periods for a month then soon as the month is up i slowly slip right back into bad habits.
The straw that broke the camels back for me is last week really went on holiday to butlins with partner and kids i spent far too much time in arcades lost too muck money came home lost £100s more online kind felt like i missed out on the holiday but its only when i took a step back i realised it. This is just a small part as to why I need to stop gambling is definatly holding me back in life, I work hard i run my own small business that does fairly ok I should be finacially Ok not mega rick or money to burn but i should get by comfortably but yet I don't! and the is only 1 reason for that GAMBLING!
My family know I gamble some of them do not know the extent think some have an idea my parther she knows how bad it can be there quite suportive dont seem to tell them much think it is difficult to talk to people who don't understand that is why I am so glad i found this forum I can not explain how much it has helped me, I dont really have any friends dont have the best of confidnece when comes to meeting new people so my social circle is very limited which at times like this isnt good, hoping to fine a few people here along the way can already see the is some great people on here!
Anyway moving on.... 2 days now not gamled at all not a penny can't say i have not thougt about it, I have but day 1 i self excluded myself from all online sites I could think off for max of 5 years that was a big step as 5 years made it feel final for me as normally i only cool off, somthing feels diffrent this time determination is here with me and as i said finding this forum has made a great diffance for me, I know how much gambling is and has ruined my life and I want change that for good!
So this is the start of a better life for me i know it will be hard but only i can do it!
Welcome Rylex, I remember the relief I had when I first found this site....people who fully understood....people who had abstained and had managed unbelievably long periods without gambling.
There are others much better placed to dispense advice but in my case I had to make changes to my daily/weekly pattern.....if Sunday's were spent in the pub with friends watching 'Super Sunday' and having a punt to 'make it interesting'...then it had to go.
Walking around garden centre's never struck me as exciting in any way but I can now smell the roses and know that I'm not allowing myself to be controlled by gambling. Like many people here the effects of my past actions will be around for a long time but that does not discourage me from doing right.
Stay Strong.
welcome rylex and good luck to your recovery.
im sure you have read about the gambling triangle. time, location, money. if you take one of them 3 out of the equation, you cant gamble. well done on self excluding yourself, that is a good first step.
i would also reccomend installing k9 software on the device you online gamble with, this will block access to gambling sites which is an extra barrier in preventing you gamble. maybe if you pop into your local bookies and self exclude yourself, that would further aid you. there are loads of like minded people on here and we are all here to support you and help you through this.
congratulations on letting it all out and a massive well done for staying gamble free so far, youve done really well. keep motivated and focus your mind on positive things. take one day at a time.
i look forward to hearing more entries in this diary and i wish you the best of luck
ben
Thanks for your comments and tips really means a lot, Strangly I've never been into bookies or the Fobts which I know seems strange but I don't and have never felt the desire to go into them I don't know if that's some kind of thinking or mind set where i know if I did it would be a bad outcome but never in all years I've gambled I have bothered with them which I find funny really actually surpose it's a good thing tho because from what i have heard them FOBTs are the devil!
I've recently paid for a website to be designed for my business which I should be paying monthly for and thanks to gambling I'm few £100 in arrears with but it need loads of my input adding products which I should of been doing weeks ago and never did because I was always busy doing things I shouldn't of been buy past few days I've been working on that which 1. Keeps me occupied and 2. Makes me feel a bit positive that I'm doing something worth while, just feel like I need to get my act together and get back on top of things didn't realise how much I had let things slip, onwards and upwards alway!
Well done Rylex, you seem really positive. It seems like you've finally said "enough is enough" and flicked the elusive switch to stop gambling (if ever there was one). Keep the determination going pal, you can do it!
Ye I defiantly have thanks a lot doing ok so far struggling a bit when I go out and about and see scratch cards they seem to be everywhere and it's something you can't block your self from just have to rely on your will power but not give in and not going too coz I know I wouldnt stop at just 1.
Hey rylex congrats on your diary i look forward to reading it. Remember to update often and dont stress ramble not gamble. It always intrests me how we are all into gambling but have diffrent itchs u like scratch cards and slots and bingo i am a fobt and slot man. Well done and remember take it a day at a time.
Thanks ADT
Been bit of up and down day today was ok this morning but as day went on slowly started to feel worse and actually feel very down right now glad I have this to come on and speak to you people who will know what it feels like, can't really put my finger on why I do feel so low either which is strange, think I miss have friends aswel as times like this you could do with them I know I have a good family around me but still friend woundnt go a miss maybe that's why I feel a bit down not sure. Anyway tomorrow is a new day try and keep positive, hope your day was a good one.
Try not to get too down Rylex... things will start turning around if you stick with this. You'll get more confident and the gloom will lift and you'll start to see the good things again. It just takes time.
Hi rylex!
First of all welcome to the forum and well done for taking the first steps at such a young age! You deserve huge credit for that so well done! In only 2 years older than you but have done some serious damage in my short life. In this recovery period there will be so many highs and lows of you read my diary you will see how low I have been for a couple of weeks and I haven't been able to put my finger on why. It just happens. Remember 'I will not win because I will not stop' no matter what, us compulsive gamblers will always lose even after we win. Keep that st the front of your mind mate.
Keep up the good work
Speak soon
Gaz
Welcome to recovery Rylex & welcome to day 3 🙂
Good on you for realising so young that you have to get a grip of this now! The scratch cards are everywhere & it's very hard to break the triangle where they are concerned which is where the counselling/GA or both comes in. As ADT has said, give it all a shot & see what it can do for you! Rylex, a lot of people here suffer from social anxiety, maybe have a read through cardhue's diary to see that it's something that can be managed with good support & a desire to push through your comfort zones into the unknown.
Goodness only knows how one joins & if you've had problems figuring out how to start a diary it may not be an option but there are chatrooms held (every night I think but Triangle would be the one to ask) that you may find useful.
Equally, a GA room is full of people that understand, some like on here you will completely relate to & now I'm gonna direct you over to Oldhamktf who is working his recovery like a pro under particularly painful circumstances.
Good to have you on board this rollercoaster ride! You are right, you so can do this - ODAAT
Thanks for your comments guys means a lot really does, without this forum and the comments of people like yourselfs I prob would of gave up by now but it's keeping me strong.
Swordfish, I know what you mean about the damage it can cause for me financially it's got me in a right mess it's ruined my credit file with falling behind if things because the money that should of been used to pay them was gambled away will prob take me a while to sort out but like ADT said I'm only young I have plenty of time. I also get what you mean about you'll never win even when you win this is what I always use to say think when you reach a certain point no matter how much you win its not enough I've walked into a slots pace with about £50 got up too £1100 and then ended up with nothing so think when your at that point there is no point.
Well anyway feel bit better today don't have a lot work on This week can't decide is that's a good thing or a bad thing at the min less work = more free time to think, going to do more work on website while I have chance keep my mind occupied, slept bit better last night also, so surpose will just see how the day goes......
Again thanks for all comments I'll defiantly take up that advise given I will also read your story's been spending lot time in here lately reading helps a lot.
All the best everyone hope it's a good day for your all, speak soon!
Hi Rylex
Good to see your posting lots! Ok so i get the sense your a little nervous to the ring gamcare from the post on my diary? Really mate don't be their really nice and it will be at your pace and they are there for a chat! All you need to do is give them a call and say hello tell them you have met some people through the website who recomeneded you call and just tell them your story. To be honest i found it therapy and a release to ring them initally, as i was in a really low place 1 week on from quit day on this rollacoster that ODAAT has rightly said! They will give you some free Therapy sessions. I paid for mine privatly but i saw it as £35 quid an hour every other week instead of £600 quid in a bookies and i booked it before i knew you can get free therapy. The beauty of recovery is at your own pace give them a call and have a little chat i promise you will come off the phone on a little high!
So GA is a seperate one i went on their website and i live inbetween cardiff and Swansea and the closet group for me was Cardiff so i decided i just was going to pop in see what it is all about and hey im on week 3 and think it is better than Therapy with regards to the gambling if you find writing good speaking is even better and again its at your pace..... The therapy is better for what is going on in my life and giving me some coping methods. Sorry for the ramble but look hang in there your doing great and its all in your own time! If your in wales your more than welcome to come with me!
Hi ADT
Yer seem to come on here a lot lately especially like today when haven't had much on just keeps my positivity up can't believe what it's done for me really feel like I've came across some great people yourself for one and makes you feel like your all in it together, been quite good day today actually felt in a fairly good mood don't know if it will last but hey ho just take it as it comes.... Defiantly going to give them a ring and as for offer coming with you if you was bit closer prob would took you up on that but I'm in Liverpool so not a world away but a good few hours haha.
Will defo give them a ring and let you know how I get on thanks for keeping Intouch aswel means a lot as said previously don't really have any mates so here seems to be closets I have to it at the min.
Wrong side of wales for this group mate! The wonderful thing about quiting gambling is that you will find you suddenly have lots of Opportunities and this could mean a chance to meet and make some new mates! I have just finished reading a book called Yes man by danny wallace there is a film with Jim carrey in it. Give it a go its an ethos i am trying out at the moment saying yes to everything that comes up (EXCEPT GAMBLING)
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