Staceys Diary i need help =,(

wishinevergambled16 wrote:

Hi Diary

My name is Stacey

I have a problem with gambling I today phoned gamcare, They suggested i use a site to block all gambling sites and i have done this.

Today i also told my partner what i had done used his account to fund my gambling addiction (second time) online i was also transfering money from my account back to his to try and cover it all turns out i didnt transfer enough. I think he will not forgive me this time. i really hope he does but i do understand if not. doesnt make it any easier. i dont know what to do to put things right. i cannot say anything he hasnt already heard. to make a differance. but i got to try something...

But i havent gambled since friday and it hasnt bothered me too much. i trying to concerntrate on sorting things with my partner which i hope gets better then it is now.. i cannot have him leave me im so scared.

Any suggestions diary on how to help my relationship i shall keep you informed. fingers crossed.

thankyou.

Hi Stacey

Welcome, I'd suggest you try and read up as much on gambling addiction as you can. It may also help to read a few of the other diaries that work on their recoveries. I might suggest day@atime's, oldhamktf and a few others.

Hi

i shall do this thankyou very much.

Hi Stacey and welcome to the forum .

You said " You don't know what to do to make things right " and " I cannot say anything he hasn't already heard to make a difference " , maybe it's as simple as stopping gambling for good ? , It's not easy hun and weve all been where you are now but you can do it , the question is always are you really ready and how much do you want to ?.

We are Compulsive gamblers and as such we lose all sense of monetry value , money's just gambling tokens to us , it doesn't mean anything except the chance to keep gambling and " We cannot win because we cannot stop " , we'll play and we'll sometimes win but mostly we'll lose , not because we're bad gamblers or bad people but because its all about percentages and the longer we play the more chance the gambling firms have of taking more and more of our hard earned money and thats just the way it is .

Making the decision to stop is tough because it's something we've done for so long , it's part of our daily live's and even part of who we've been for so long but staying stopped is the real toiugh bit and you need help and support and the right mindset to do it , that's why this place can really help you .

There's no judgement because we're all affected by gambling and we've all lied to our partners and covered our losses in order to carry on gambling and we know deep down they deserve so much better .

Youv'e taken advice from gamcare which is great and there's lots more you can do to keep you safe so just ask if you need more info , the important thing is that your partner knows so its all out in the open , so maybe ask for their help in controlling your finances and to moniter your bank account ? , that way they'll feel involved and it will show them you mean buisiness this time , it'll also make you feel safer .

I came here over 10 months ago and haven't had a bet since because of the daily support of all the great people on here , I know how your feeling at the moment , all a mixed up bag of emotions and it's almost like having a brain fog because you don't really know what to do next , so firstly just take one day at a time because any day that you don't gamble is a great day , you'll soon notice the fog lifting and everything will start to become clearer the longer you don't bet, cut yourself some slack because as bad as things are we're all human and we all make mistakes so learn to forgive yourself .

The biggest piece of advice I can give you that really helped me get through was " Acceptance " , accept that what's done is done , the money youv'e lost is gone and it's not coming back and more importantly , Your not going to chase it anymore !!.

If you let things go , then you can start to move on and build a better gamble free life !!.

If youv'e got any questions then just post , if I can't get back to you then someone else will be along to offer help and advice , use what suits you and discard the rest , it's your recovery and work it the way that feels right .

You could always start a diary later if you wish on the recoveries diary section , it's a good way of letting all those feelings out or just to chat and you usually get a bit more response from others once they realise youve arrived :))

Take care for now and I wish you well on your journey to a better place .

Alan

@Alan135 Thankyou very much you words have really helped and made me feel better. i know the money is gone and i really would like a better life. both for me and my partner. i am so angry i even done this again not only angry but upset and dissapointed. but i guess this is when you know enough is enough done it once and didnt stop now i know i am addicted and i can deal with that. and the people on here are also on here to help. thankyou i WILL do the receovery i need to for my sake and everyone around me aswell.
Thankyou again Alan

Stacey

Thankyou half life =)

i shall do this

stacey

x