Stacey's Survival

Hi Stacey,

Welcome to this great and supportive site and you have made the first huge step towards calmer and happier future. There is lot of advice here, we all been where you are now, I certainly relate to your feelings. Recovery is bespoke and I'm sure you will find the best suitable way in ur journey.

Be kind to urself, don't look back, don't chase the losses, you are good person and need all the support possible to help you come out the other end. There is better life out there, believe in urself and make the right choice each day. That's all it takes - one decision a day to better ur life.

I would suggest contacting net line, advicers can help you to find the best aproach in ur recovery, and advice you on anything you are worried about. They offer free 1 to 1 counselling, and I am sure you will get all the support you so desperately need at the start of ur journey.

I wish you well, stay close by ur diary and post as much as you like. Get it all out, shared problem is half problem, shared joy is double joy. Write, read and you are never on your own.

Anything is possible - believe in yourself

Day at a time

Sandra

Hi Stacey - there IS a new life for you out there, and although it might not seem so at the moment you have already started it by admitting you have a problem and joining this site. There are many more contributors who have had more experience of struggling with this blight of gambling - I am only on Day 3 of my recovery, but already I feel strengthened by the support here, and you will too. Please don't do anything to harm yourself - you say you have lost all your old friends, but I am sure that you would sadden many people if you weren't here anymore. Have faith - you will overcome this.

Hi thanks for your messages - I'm really lost in the gambling wilderness and havent got anything or anyone to enjoy my life with, It seems like a lost cause and it doesn't really help that I've got nothing rather than a bed, computer, mobile phone and a TV to occupy yourself with, when in fact you want to go out and enjoy yourself but just don't know where to start and nobody to talk to on a regular basis and its not easy saying to strangers, "I need friends"... it makes it sound very weird.

If I had been presented with a normal life with many good social skills then gambling would never been a thought at all. I had worked in the industry for a long time before I was sacked rather unfairly 2 years ago but decided not to even contest it for my own good... But the gambling then continued since I was left in a very lonely place. I had nothing left to do any remaining money and credit I had soon disappeared rather than later.

There is nothing left for me to do but I must somehow survive this s**t.

Well... If I'm going to survive then I must survive through hell it seems. I've a mountain of debt, no work and suffering big time it seems... I don't know how to cope.

Yes Stacey, echoing what Gan Eagla has said:

'You will, you will, you will....." or was that Mrs Doyle in 'Father Ted'?? Just remember that although we might just be names on here, there is real friendship, love and support in the Forum and I hope you will be strengthened by that thought.

On a practical note, are there any study courses, clubs etc. you could join locally? I know it is hard to join things on your own, but it really is a good way of meeting people, even if you only see them once a week. Human contact is so important when you are feeling low. If you are not working then it doesn't have to involve any expense - if you get hold of a local residents' association magazine there are often loads of activities for free, e.g. a weekly walk even volunteering to clear woodland etc.

Best thoughts to you...

Hi Stacey, welcome to the forum and thanks for the post on my diary. I am truly humbled that when you are in such a dark place yourself, you took the time to post in my diary and give me strength. It is early days for me too. Keep counting, keep posting and we can make it.

Hi Baggins... Yes there is a local Bridge club(Yes, I do know how to play bridge, just not played since I left school believe it or not.) However this does cost some money, I know its not a large amount, but if I can spare £20 a week for bridge then I don't see why not since I can gamble hundreds and thousands in a space of a few hours with typing a few details in a website or drawing cash out of a hole in the wall... Maybe it's time I tried doing some of the old things I used to pre-gambling and hopefully I can find some friends there. I feel terrible still knowing it will be years before I do actually become debt free.

No Crisis - Yes your welcome. I'm reading everyones diaries here and I do like to let them know we are all in this together to fight this addiction.

Hi Stacey ive managed 69 days not gambling, I gambled £500 of my wages every month and lost the lot, I always gambled on roulette the last time I gambled was on 27th December they are not taking anymore of my money.

Hi stop yes I was gambling everything at one point, horses, dogs, football, blackjack, roulette. All using staking systems in an effort to believe we can beat the houses edge. One day I just went mental and then went on a winning streak believing I can win all the time. But eventually you get caught up, you lose big and then there seems to be no way back.

But then I became addicted and just wanted to win some money, and it wasn't happening anymore and then you borrow money and eventually lose all that money too and then you become stuck in a trap and it seems you cannot get out.

hi stacey , i think sometimes lonliness comes from a certain situation we are in or without realising it until too late we put ourselves in , i understand that on your own thing i am single a few friends not many but they have mostly all got partners now , where i used to work years ago my social life seemed to flourish a bit , but then i started my own business and apart from customers i would be on my own and then the friends i did /do have i didnt have time to see when starting my business . Then after a few years later when i seemed to have time to see them it was almost as if they had partners ect and they had not seen me for a while so it became almost awkward to arrange a night out ect... luckily i do have a 9 year son and hes my world but mainly lives with his mom, and i think i lost alot of my social life when i had to spend 5 years of my life every day thinking about and going to court/solicitors to get access to my son and i think spending this time doing this aswell stopped me from having a social life and meeting people ect... but my point is firstly i understand not having friends and it is an easy situation to be in an end up in secondly don't think its your fault or there is anything wrong with you it just happens sometimes , thirdly that other user mentioned joining clubs ect.. i havn't yet but i did take myself for a run the other day mainly to take my mind off gambling [ in the countryside at night , how stupid , i was bl~~dy scared with how dark it was lol ] but since then i have chatted to the odd person about it and its mad how you end up in extra conversations ect.. so i think joining clubs or something would be good for you , as this would automatically give you something to do people to do it with and as you go on and share that clubs or whatever you choose to do you will then have common interest and you will forge new friendships. i find it hard to make friends and i used to care what people thought of me and beacause of that i never would speak to anyone , now i just dont care what people think of me and so will speak to anyone i come in contact with, and so make friends easyier, you might not care what people think but if you do , then dont as it doesnt matter what other people think but also if you dont worry about what other people think you then you will generally get into conversation more easily and make friends more easily, if you not working could you apply to get a partime job somewhere , like a supermarket or something as people at these places are always arranging nights out ect.. im always walking through aldi hearing the staff arranging nights out lol , but i think if you did something like this you would not be so bothered about gambling have less time on your hands to gamble and make a few friends which would one make you feel better in yourself but also take you away from gambling, lastly dont do anything stupid you are worth much more than that , do not become a satistic , also if you havnt allready you need to self exculde from every bookies and gambling site possible and tell them to self excude you from all there linked sites aswell, be strong you will find not gambling will leave a void/gap in your life to start with but try to fill it with other things even cleaning or whatever looking for a job if you need one , and if you cant get a job straight away , try volunteer work anything to take your mind away from gambling and you may meet new people aswell . keep strong keep posting im only on day 9 and to be honest im on here all the while at the moment probably filling the time i used to spend doing online betting . but remember you can only win when you stop gambling, ps sorry ive rammbled on loads im a bit of a chatter box

Stacey, I feel for you. your circumstances are very similar to mine. The friends issue, lack of relationships and I'm also childless. I understand that Boredom doesn't help and sometimes contributes to the Gambling. I signed up here last night after spending over £300.00 online. I felt low and extremely annoyed with myself. Today is my day one your were the first respond to my first ever post on here, which I Thank you for. I thought it would be ignored. Anyway, Good luck with your battle and were all behind you on here. 🙂

hi stacey hope you doing ok keep up the fight thanks simon

stacey what you doing girl where you been , clock in and let us know you doing ok , even if you just reading and not writing on diary or having a break , no probs but as i say just come onto your diary to let us know all is ok , stay gamble free stacey , life has alot to offer you if you are patient , thanks simon

Day 13

Well, Technically it's the start of Day 14 now since it's gone past 12 o'clock and yes I know it's been a very long time since I have been here, Haven't had the courage to visit the forum, simply because I hate the lay out and it looks outdated compared to v-bulletin boards and it gives me bad eyes when I see the green and white stripes.

I have been getting things sorted out...

NO MONEY HAS BEEN GAMBLED SINCE NEARLY 2 WEEKS!!!

Also would you believe it after 2 years since my last job... I'm finally back in work!!! OK, Low paid in a well known restaurant, But it's a job and it may keep me busy and interested in life once again and finally get me working back towards paying off that large burden of debt I owe.

Also I got in touch with my local bridge club, They advised me to gain good knowledge of the Acol bidding system so I can play with many of the regulars that play there. I know how to play the game, but I need to know the Acol System and simple tactics of playing bridge more competitively.