Start 18:40 - 28/04/09

Thank you for your imput weldy & eyes 🙂

I had written a sort of heart felt will i won't i in my day 4 post but the computer cut most of it off so i deleted it. (i didn't trust myself with alcohol)

Anyways i am still gamble free ! yay! to put it in perspective for me i went out with 7 other men this evening...4 are hardent gamblers...2 are regular gamblers and one (my Uncle) is a gambling addict. Whenever i saw an option to gamble (bookies, slot machines) i thought back here, to my diary and felt quite strong. At one point I was trying to get my Uncle to post here!

Im so happy now as the night out was my biggest fear and this seems like a victory. My tactics for tomorrow are to stay in bed as long as possible, giving me the smallest gambling gap available.

I'm looking forward to the big fight though!

Its nice to here from other gamblers who have problems with horses, especially one with the experiences of Weld. The pretend bets did fill a gap on Thursday, but i know its not the full solution....i'm going to take it one step at a time.......ive already done better than i though i would with the support of all you! 🙂

Thanks

cvimes

Morning all - Day 5 -

Apart from having a hangover 🙂 im feeling pretty good.

After i'd self excluded myself from my last online bookmaker and said 'never again' Saturday morning was the time i'd trawl the internet looking for my next bookie. not today though!

I'm pretty relaxed and have plenty to keep me occupied today.

Middlesborough Vs Man U

I'd love to see middlesborough win to keep the title race going. later on there is the Hatton fight. i think Paqiou will win but i'm rooting for Hatton. I'm going to try to enjoy these as 'entertainment' rather than chucking money at them. If these were last week, it would have been a £100 day no problem.

My plan to stay in bed as long as possible didn't really work, i was up at 7 (work time on a weekday) Bloody Body clock!

Day 11 - No Bet -

I'm tempted today, its the first time ive serched for a bookmaker online in 11 days, ive got the itch.

Ive decided to write here to pass some time before i go out and have a few beers. why the itch??? Ive had eleven days without a bet online. the longest ive gone in 3 years.

Im trying to keep positive but i rekon if i wasn't excluded from the major players i'd be betting now...Im trying to think of the money ive saved towards the holiday in the summer by not gambling this week (bout £100).....think i'll go out early!

Thank you Ade.

You are my hero...seriously.

I got in from a session (Drink) and i needed a bet, more than anything in the world. I even joned an online casino! but i read your post and it pulled me around. I self excluded after reading your entry into my diary!

This is the support i need and i greatly appreciate it.

Thank you Ade...your a star 🙂

Last night was a close shave....i'd entered all my card details and all i had to do was hit enter. I'm glad i pulled through it.

Still no bet

Hi.. well done on pulling back from the brink!

I use betfilter.com it works well for me.

All the best to you and your on-going recovery.. S.A 🙂

Hi Cvimes and Ade I know what you mean about that "itch". Havent done anything since intial slip but it seems we lose all sense of reality and our minds go blank except for one thing, gambling.

So glad you are both staying strong. Hope you have a good weekend. Min x

Still no bet

Hi all, thanks for your imputs.

Another week free of online gambling, the thought did cross my mind after a drink yesterday but it was only a passing thought and it soon passed.

One strange thing ive noticed is that if i'm hungry after a drink i tend to want to gamble more, when ive had something to eat the urge passes...thats probably because i want to sleep though 🙂

I'm off to a wedding doo tonight, not drinking much so should be no problems tonight.

Have a good en everyone

Hi Cvimes hope the wedding do went well. Lucky the wedding wasnt today what with all the rain!!! heres to a sunny start to the new week for all of us. Minx

Hi Cvimes hope your ok. Just take peeps at the diaries and noticed u havent been on for a few days. Hope all well Min x

Phew,

its like a time warp looking back on this diary. To put it bluntly i fell off the wagon after the 19th of May 2009, i've had a mixed two years of general gambling and i'm afraid it still rules my life. I feel i have matured a lot since my last diary post and have decided now is the time to STOP for good.

Nothing has triggered this off, no big loss or event, the last time i gambled was wednesday, i lost £20 playing blackjack online, i self-excluded immediately after and have just had enough. Gambling no longer excites me or thrills me i just do it because it has become part of me.....a part i now want rid of.

My life is the best it has ever been, i met my partner in February 2010 and we've been living together a year. We are getting married on the 28th of december this year. Ive had a promotion at work and have also started my own business which passes time and gives me enjoyment. Me and my partner are looking to buy our first house early next year and then try for children, everythings great.....................apart from the shadow that stays with me at all times

I spend around £200 a month in the bookies, this money means i'm always waiting for pay day. I've no need to do it, i just do, i always have done since i was 16........i'm sick of it, my life is ahead of me full of positives i need this shadow off of me to enjoy it fully.

I always look at the diaries of people, this site has been in my favourites for around 3 years, i decided to trawl through the graveyard of old posts and came accross my own, this time i Will do it...no excuses...

DAY 3, Gamble FREE - The shadow will not win!

So it's nearly 10 years since I started this diary, my word looking back is interesting. A lot has passed in those ten years. I am however gamble free...for 42 days. Been a struggle.