Day one. The calm after the storm. Today will be easy not to gamble as I reflect on what just happened. Tomorrow is another day!!Â
Hi
From each time we go back to our unhealthy habits we get to understand what our last emotional triggers was.
It was important for me to learn and to understand what my emotional triggers were.
Emotional triggers for me my were pains I could not heal, an emotional trigger were my were fears I could not face and reduce, an emotional trigger were my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations I could reduce, an emotional trigger were my fears of emotional intimacy and feeling a loner and disconnected, an emotional trigger for me was boredom because I could feel productive and I was not able to commit to my needs my wants and in time set goals for me to achieve.
The buzz I use to feel while in action was fear and adrenaline based.
In saying to myself I have to implies reluctance and resentments.
By doing things with reluctance and resentments who am I cheating but myself.
In recovery as I change unhealthy habits into healthy habits I get to feel good about myself.
If your boss asked to work a month without any pay what would you feel.
Yet how many times did IÂ work and then give my money away to complete strangers.
Only once I was able to abstain from my unhealthy habit could the healing happen of my hurt inner child.
It was the easy option to talk about money or being in action.
Recovery is about starting to heal my pains.
Gambling was a form of self abuse and self destruction.
In going to meetings therapy based I would not longer focus on money or gambling.
I would focus on me becoming a much healthier person.
Guilt shame regret is the consequences of going against my own healthy conscience.
As I heal and become healthier I no longer live in the pains of my past.
Only when I love myself can I love other people.
Only when I respect myself can I respect other people.
How much do I value myself today.
How much time and effort am I willing to invest in me becoming a much healthier person today.
I hope that this helps you.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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