Starting again.

Last week I was in a mess...I have said I can beat this over and over again..I'M TIRED OF LYING TO MYSELF...I need to control this!! I am going to listen to hypnosis...Ohh the stress of life!!!!!!

I CAN WIN BECAUSE I HAVE STOPPED.

Fella

Bottom line is you can beat this,it is about making a choice, a choice that only you can make.

Yes it is a shi##ty choice,it comes with a great deal of effort, it at times seems futile,gambling is the easy option,addiction whispers sweet nothings in your ear about all the enjoyment you get,the next win is just around the corner,that it is time to prove you are not a loser.

f****k that fella, gambling will take all you have to give and some,it will chew you up and spit out the pieces then move on to it's next victim,it's next willing fool who wants to pretend life gambling is great!!!

Arrest the punt and life will improve,have a punt and it won't.

That is the choice.

Gambling is a total complete waste of your time,effort and hard earnt.

Today I see it for what it is,today I hope the choice you made helps you to continue to see it too.

I DID WIN BECAUSE I DID STOP

feels good fella!!

Keep making that choice

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanks Duncs.

Well I can say with confidence..

I have got this addiction where I want it!

I'm saving up for Christmas ..

That's my goal!!

I look forward to the rewards...

My money is safely building up in my account!

I'll keep my diary updated..

I haven't bet..

I still work...

I love my family and myself..

I have money..

I need to let go of negative stuff..

Guys I advise you to get hypnosis relaxation for free...On you tubbe.

TC

Speak soon

Fella there is no greater way to start your last post.

'I haven't bet'

for me that opens the the doors to better things.

For your efforts be proud.

Keep making the right choice.

Fill your resolve in whatever ways work

Most of all enjoy it

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi, diary,

I quit my job on Monday, it wasn't for me...I became angry at the way things were at work..The unorganised fashion everything was done in..The nasty job, I was cleaning floors in really loud conditions...I feel I was better than that job...However, now I'm unemployed and intially I felt some relief ....Anyway, I had Monday to myself and had saved around 1200...I hadn't been gambling lately, except every weekend I would go to the shop and buy lottery..A few times I contemplated the bookies but my son,(last son school age) who keeps a close eye on me, would always advise me not to and I would see the sense and abstain...

Back to Monday, I ended up in the bookies and won 800 and 500...I banked it all and my balance was around 2400..I was going to get my driving license sorted out and find a new job...It was an excellent plan....

I took my family out on Monday night and bought everyone some Indian food... My, missus was upset because she wanted me to spend like no Tomorrow....I was experiencing some form of withdrawal I guess?

My daughter usually looks after my card, however, on this occasion she forgot to and it left me wide open to Tuesday... Another day of gambling....

So, it was my sons birthday (middle son), previously (last weekend~~) I put 50 in petrol in his car and 40 in an envelope with a card...So yesterday, he was enjoying his birthday at home as he had a day off and he said that I should go to get the provisional form because mine had expired....I used this as an excuse to get out the house with my card....I ended up in the bookies...I forgot to mention that the money I banked on Monday, I kept 110 in cash and returned to the bookies on Monday to "try to win some more"..Unfortunately I lost, this played on my mind until the next day (maybe that is why I was tight about the Indian food?, I could have used that for dinner) ........I lost all my money 2400 all gone everything..to top it I ran back begging for more and ended up putting 1k of my partner's money in....So, now I am flat broke owe her money, have no job and feeling really guilty and depressed...The bookies win again....How many times I have done this ..I have lost count...

I slogged my guts out for six months nearly and have earned 0..

That is the reality of gambling

I got myself in a mess today, I'm sure it is a godsend though... My missus said we should try 50 to try to get our money back, at first I never wanted too...Anyway, 180 later..I decided to go home find a bunch of passport sized photos and self excluded myself from every betting shop around my town...Hopefully, this is my rock bottom, last ditch attempt to STOP!!! I strangely feel good about this decision, despite the fact of losing everything.

Morning fella.

The doors revolve again for you,bottom line is it only you who can decide when you have had enough of losing.

The fact that your partner funds episodes willingly must be difficult,doe's she believe you are a 'winning' gambler?? I know through experience my wife thought the wins outweighed the losses for many years.

The truth in that is it is the 'bull#/////' I spun to make her,always living off the few wins and of course never mentioning the ever progressive losses.

Self exclusion for me works today but only again because I choose it to work.

It comes down to your own desire to end the destruction.

Regards Duncs

Thanks Duncan,

your kind words have yet again made me feel more at ease...I was actually waiting for your comment...I thought you were going to give me an ear bashing ~(which is what I feel I deserve)...

Yes, my missus is very helpful through all of this...I managed to save my wages, then in one silly moment lost everything and more...I am just praying this time I can start over and work it all out...I start a new job in the morning and am hoping that I find my way, yet again...I believe my last job which I left dramatically was a trigger..I was tired, stressed and unhappy...I guess that had something to do with my lapse?

What I do know is, I have another attempt at stopping; thankfully I managed to ban myself from every bookie in my town/area!! (A small consolation, but it will pay off, lets hope!).

I have been to town, I saw loads of gambling places and bookies...The place what we know and were bought up in frankly, isn't the same place anymore.

Hi

Thank you for your kind words on my diary. It seems you have had a bad time of it just recently but you have done the right thing by getting excluded / banned. I found the hardest part of gambling was chasing my losses. I knew deep down that I shouldn't do but the thought of that 'one big win' and all my problems would be over. Even if I did win I just handed it all back - or the online equivalent of handing it all back. The only thing for me was to get rid of anything I could use for online slots. So I am typing this on my PC which has an excellent block on it. I will be paying back loans for a long time but it feels good to know that I am not giving any more to gambling as I can never win, only lose.

Stay strong.

Elfie

I have 100..

I want to do so much in life...With 100 I wont get far...I was contemplating how to get my money back...Online poker sprang to mind...Then I logged into my gamcare account instead...I read the latest post on my account and remembered that my mind is playing tricks again...There is no easy ticket out of this mess...I drank myself to sleep last night 'to kill the pain'...Hopefully I will acheive everything that I set out to do...One day I will succeed!

Gambling is; 'a complete waste of time'

Correct

I'll stick by my last post.

Hi,

back again, this is another attempt at the straight and narrow, I must say gambling has really got me in a dark place. It has promised me a dream. Unfortunately, it lied!

I have had a few glitches recently...However, now that I have succumbed (yet again) to a significant loss..I feel it is time to jump on the wagon. I do have a small amount of funds left (consolation? Maybe) I kind of feel relieved and angry tonight..Relieved and frightened too...Frightened about the future, scared of the unknown...I have had many wins and twice as many losses, my head feels in pieces but I am a fighter and this battle is about to begin....