Starting again, again,.

...cokes??

Congratulations Pat for doing so well for so long, keep it up, Steve.

Pat good to see your still going strong .You were right in what you said on my diary and looking back i wish he hadnt told me but its part of the learning process i suppose .I dont know what its like in Ireland but over here if youy watch sports channels and listen to radio you cant go half an hour without gambling adverts which never seem to show people losing this weekend in particular ,still ill watch the football and block out the rest.

Good Luck

Denis, its the exact same here, every second ad on the tv has a big grinning idiot flashing all his winnings.

I have a 12 year old boy talking about betting on his favourite team, must say that scares the bejesus out of me.

Keep strong and positive, ond day at a time is the way to go.

Just thought I'd grab entry 200.

It's a numbers thing, you know, probably the reason I'm so screwed up with the gambling.

Stay strong!

Received half an email from you on saturday, hope you're OK and would like to read the other half!

on day 232, just felt it was time to put a little post in. things are going a good, had exams last week and this also had another few things going on and must say the stress levels were up a little but gambling was not even a thought. i must say a am feeling that i am putting some clear water between where i was and where i currently am which feels good. do get the odd thought about having a bet but it goes as quickly as it arrives. i certainly will not under estimate how quickly this could change with just one bet, so avoiding the first bet is the key.

keep strong everyony, have a great weekend.

Pat

Normal everyday stress is good.

Gambling stress isn't.

Have a great weekend,

NT

Wow, 232, nearly 8 months.

I know what you mean about water between us and it. Unfortunately (and I'm just thinking out loud now, not relating this specifically to you), all the distance in the world can be undone in the blink of an eye - too much alcohol, too much stress, the death of a relative, some joyous occasion, a little windfall etc etc. All the reasons are on here, on other people's diaries.

We are impossible to predict, because we are two people - the 'normal' us and the 'CG' us. I am in a 'normal' phase at the moment, and I look back at the past and I am ashamed that I (unbeknown to them) put my family through some hard times because of me. I am even more ashamed that things are difficult now financially, when they shouldn't be, and i have two very young children.

The 'normal' me says I will never let it happen again, when I've finally dug myself out of this hole. However, I'm a realist, and I know the 'CG' me cannot be trusted, so I've put as many blocks up as I reasonably can in case he appears again. At the moment, I'm pretty confident he won't. I doubt he's dead though - perhaps 'in a coma' is a better description.

Hey, Pat - have a good weekend!

tomorrow will be nine months since i had a bet.

I just felt the need to post an update, i was out of the country last week with work, the city i was staying in was lovely but every sign appeared to be for a casino, i would normally just bet on horses and dogs but have had a go at most things. the urges i felt last week were terrible, i did not give in but felt drained. every night i closed my eyes i was dreaming of rushing to write a 100 euro win bet on Trap 1 on a dog race that was about to start, then i would wake up in a sweat... what a horrible time.

Anyway felt great to get home and back to normality, mentioned before we never win this war just fight it daily and pray for the best.

Hope everyone on here is doing well

keep strong,

Pat

Hi pat

Well done on nearing 9months. You should be proud of yourself for this achievement. Today is 9 days gamble free for me.

Keep up the great work.

9 months is fantastic. you must have your sights firmly on the Big Bertha now, one whole year.

yes, it's the little breaks from routine that can provide the temptation, isn't it? I'm at centre Parcs at the mo, with extended family, and whilst in the bowling alley last night with a group my Dad - who never, EVER gambles, put 5o P in a 'deal or no deal ' bandit. I looked at him in amazement and asked him him what he was doing -'wanted to see how it works' he replied. Then he walked off, leaving me thinking something like 'does it count if I have a go...?' I didn't, but at that moment I could've happily pumped a few quid in, and no doubt thoroughly enjoyed it.

Guard up!

morning all, just checking in and i realised that i jumped the gun on celebrating 9 months, it was only 8.... the tally on my 2 euro coins made me realise this. anyway have another little milestone, 250 days tomorrow so i have 500 euro in my desk drawer. very tempted to pay it off my CC bill as i have seen no headway on that front since january but really like the idea of it growing from a small acorn.... typical gambler 🙂 anyway weekend went well, just busy getting on with normal every day life, now that the stresses of daily gambling are no longer there it is a good existance.

hope everyone on here is doing well in their own personal battles.

keep strong,

Pat

Pat,

Many thanks for your kind words on my diary page.

Well done on 250 days-WOW!!!

Best wishes,

gazza

day 256...

I had a strange day on friday, spent a lot of time working out how much money i could lay my hands on to have a bet on the winners of the rugby and the champions league, i was convinced (in my own mind) the the result was certain so it made sense (again in my own mind) between a little cash i have and credit available on two CC i was looking at 2k, would have returned 1,400.

I think it is the slowness of reducing the debt that made me think this stupid thought, thankfully i realised how dumb i was being and put it out of my mind..

Would be a further 2k in debt this morning if it had happened.......

I know i am only one bet away from disaster, i will not ruin things for myself haven made it this far.

Keep strong all.

Pat