Starting again Aged 35

Hey mate, long time no speak, remember you starting out around the same time as me, and remember vividly the story with your family.....

I am so so so happy that it is working out for you, you are gaining the rewards that you deserve, keep it up mate.

Phil

Well I'm back from my family holiday had a great time away was a strange week as we spent every evening in the club house kids were given spending money each night to play in the small arcade next door, that didn't bother me too much but felt like I was missing out on their fun wasn't until the last night I spoke to the wife about it and it was agreed we would join them in there at the end of the evening I went on the racing game with one of the boys and wife went on the 2p machines with the other it worked well and I didn't find myself wanting to gamble. The day times where spent doing fun stuff together even got a few hours on the fishing lake most days a good time had by all.

Well I may be wrong to think this but I think the wife has found a little trust in me again, she has been way for the weekend with her friends and left me at home with the kids and the iPad, all has gone well but did walk back in to the living room Saturday night after been out for a smoke to find live roulette had started on the tv quickly turned it off but thought, how would that had looked if someone else had walk in, but glad to report all is well and the days are still adding up, and just as an after thought why are there even more gambling adverts on tv these days can we start a campaign to get the band to just adult tv channels. Keep safe

Well its been another busy week starting my new work placement which is going really well and is looking like it may turn into a full time job at the end of the year.

Had a sit down chat with the wife last night as she was having a few worrying thought about my lack of commitment to my recover, we cleared the air and it gave me a needed kick up the backside to get back on here and keep everything fresh and at the front of mind. I was able to read her posts on the family and friends side so I could see what she was thinking much easier than her trying to put it all into words at the time, I thought thinks where moving forward fine but as she pointed out the longer I have been back the more of the old things where creeping back into my life, I can safely say thou gambling was not one one of them it has now been 108 days since I last gambled and life is much better. I`m even going away in the morning for a few days fishing with some old work mates. I must make more time for Gamcare as it was also pointed out to me yesterday I would spend half the night gambling but now I can`t find 30 mins to come here and read or write a few lines, so for anyone reading this just starting out on their recover remember to stick with the site it does and will help. All the best and stay safe.

Evening all well I'm back from my few days fishing all went well, but it was yesterday it all went wrong. The wife had checked my phone no problem there, then she started asking questions about what I had to eat and drink when I was away, I lied saying just stuff I already had or took with me, why did have to lie I have no idea maybe cos I'm afraid to the rock the boat by spending on myself and not paying of my debts quicker or spending it on other stuff we need, any way 5 mins after the conversation and a quick walk to the shop, I walk back into the room and asked the wife if we could have the last conversation again this time been honest on every thing I spent, I knew it was only time before she would find out and wanted to clear the air before it turned into something so much bigger. I felt so much better after I had told her but still left me felling cr@P for not been honest from the start. Not sure if it has done much damage to our person recover but things seem ok today.

Reminder to myself just be honest it's much easier. Stay safe

Having been away from home again for the week really hasn't help things family wise, I made a genuine mistake on Tuesday night by leaving my phone in the car and missing calls from the wife which she as seen as avoiding her which is what I used to do before if I was up to no good but this time it was just a mistake and it's turned into the old boy who cried wolf scenario, but having nothing to hide is making must easier to be open and try and sort it out, as soon as I walked thou the door on Friday my daughter asked me straight out if I had been gambling again we had a chat and cleared the air then my youngest came home from school and had to go thou the same again and once again with the wife that night, it was good they where all open asked rather than stewing on it and making for a long weekend.

Talking has really helped just hope that it keeps happening as we have had a fun weekend since, so just want to say to the wife and family thank you.

Hoping to arrange my first face to face counselling with gamcare over the next 2 weeks

Chris

fella if it takes the rest of your life to earn the trust of your family it will be worth it.

From the other side of the fence it is understandable that we will live under a microscope.

just keep doing the right thing.

Not gambling and being honest.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanks Duncs,

Well I was out yesterday with the family and I heard this " Everyday in ever way I am getting better" and thought that was I a great way to look at my recovery, we are all getting better at something everyday. Stay safe

Another week has passed been so busy doing odd jobs around the house and a bit of job hunting, but think the best part of the last week has been a dad I've done the school run after school club and even taken them out for dinner, all the simply things my old life took away, stress levels are still low. Had the odd thought about gambling but don't last long and I'm really not missing it. Life is much easier when your trying to hide things from people. Stay safe every day in every way I get better.

well time is flying by, not been on here as much a should be mainly due to job hunting and spending time with the family. But also cos I fell I having nothing to add the days are adding up and the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter to been debt free.

Have just called to arrange my first face 2 face counselling session I fell I'm just marking time and not moving on at the moment, need to bring things back to the front of my mind as this is where it could all go wrong again if i don`t.

Christmas is just around the corner and don`t want anything to stop it been the best ever.

Stay safe

Chris.

Fella the fact that you are still gamble free is something to behold.

Keep doing what works for you my friend and those plans for a great xmas will without doubt come to fruition.

Hope the counselling helps to, I know it has worked well for many, from both sides of the fence, the addict and those it has affected so greatly.

Keep up the good work.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Well the last month has flown by, been to gamcare counselling a few times and is really helps talking to someone who knows what I'm thinking without having to say it. The twist he has put on braking old habits and helping plan a new further is a great help. I would recommend it to anyone who needs that little extra help.

Life is moving forward quickly the gambling days are becoming a distant past and even the thoughts as few and far between, but I have seemed to have filled all my free time with work and family and just enjoying life. Thanks to everyone who is helping the light is getting much brighter at the end on very dark tunnel.

Everyday in every way I get better.

Chris

'everyday in every way I get better'

My friend that put a huge smile on my face, the effort is there for all to see, keep making the difference.

To abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Day 190 and counting, I have managed to make some big changers in my life over the past 8 months, I lost every thing due to gambling, but without it in my life, I have more now than ever before, My health, life and even bank statements have never been better.

Every day in every way I get better

Chris

Chris

fella for 15 pages you showed humility and a want to arrest the punt,today I was saddened to read that anger has taken over your life again

Surely fella the only person you should be angry with is yourself.

I can't change the past,as much as I would like to I can't decide upon your future either

Only you can make the right choice.

In life I reaped what I sowed.

I hope you find a way to make the right choice's again.

My support never left your side,everyone is equal,everyone has life on offer.

Regards Duncs