Staying out of the ZONE (T2)

Hi

Thanks for your message on my diary. This is right place to be whatever's gone under the bridge. I am giving my full support to your success at where you want to be. Lets take each day as it comes.

Take care

ergos.

I am happy to see a couple best wishes on my entry as it lets me know that someone is out there who knows about the journey and the challenges and who wants to share and to try to support. Thanks. Even though today was another new beginning and I could feel defeated before I start I am believing that new beginnings , no matter how many of them we initiate , are quite powerful. Each time I come to this place it's the same indeed but different in some way.

I had quit gambling for one year on my own and it was the strongest I ever felt and commited but then I had some hardship in life and I went out... I bought a car (I had been hitchhiking to work previously by my own choice to be carless which left me without trans. to the casinos). Since I started gambling after that trigger, after one year or so gf, it's been a very very long road . I got into recovery and have had clean time of months and have gotten some important things more solid in my life. But I suppose that was just experimenting with recovery or early recovery because I finally opened my eyes and saw that I was headed down again. This year was very hard and I found myself covering up half of the time and admitting the other half of the time about my gambling. I could not be 100 percent clean. It has to be different now. Tomorrow is the new moon... the 11th of November. I am going to try to come here and share about my journey. Blessings to all who share here. T2

Hi T2, stay strong and. Focused and you soon will be 100 days gamble free! Good luck my friend

Another day. I'm watching what happens in life as I go back to one day at a time. Recommiting to honest living. Recommiting to relaxing my grip and letting go to let god as they say. I'm trying to be humble and not feel like I have to hold myself as if nothing is wrong and everything is perfect. Everything can be okay as it is , but with a relaxed humble approach... honesty. It never gotten any harder or easier and all I can see is today for now. Also needing to stay in the moment . Energy drains happen when I go forward or backward too far and too often. Staying present. honoring self. T2

Hi Tara2,

Thanks for your post, and well done for sharing your gambling issues on the forum again.

Like some of the forum members, you’ve been struggling with your gambling problem for well over 10years now, as you admitted. Also, to answer your question “(Can I find a way to restart on this recovery from gambling?)”; of course there’s a way of restarting your recovery from gambling, and you’re already on route by posting here again.

It’s never easy when one is trying to stop but, with such perseverance and determination that you’re demonstrating, you’ll hopefully be able to conquer your “gambling demons”. Everyone has the resources within them to effect changes in their lives for the better, and once you keep trying, you’ll eventually achieve your aim. You just have to be patient with yourself, and take it one step at a time.

Pls. make sure you reach for the necessary help that you need from us. If you think counselling has helped you in the past, and you need more sessions to empower you to overcome your gambling problem, don’t hesitate to contact our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to an adviser about counselling referral or, to just chat about your concerns.

Our lines are open every day from 8.00am to midnight.

Maybe, you’ll also like to join our daily live chat between 8.00pm to 9.00pm. Most people find it helpful, and hopefully, it will be the same for you.

I wish you well in your recovery, and pls. keep posting.

Regards,

Beatrice.

Thank You Beatrice , your reply was empowering for me and made me feel good. Appreciation! T2 I do feel a shift inside and spiritly since I have recommited to oddaat recovery.

I can not attend chat here because it happen at 12 P.m. for me and my computer connection is not on at that time. But I really really enjoy the posts here so far. I want to take time to read some each day and hopefull find some connections to interact with! Sharing is so helpful to me, whether I'm typing or reading it helps. Thanks to all who post here on Gamcare, I want to slowly get into the flow and embrace this support . T2

so many times I've short changed myself by going to the casinos. I always think about how I could have bought that one nice thing for myself instead of living in poverty with out nice things. I've wanted a pair of boots for so long and a few other things. I go to the casinos and spend 3 times that much. I save my money and scrimp in all other areas. I'm thinking since I am recommiting perhaps if I buy myself something nice to symbolise my commitment this could be a reinforcement of recovery each time I see it or wear it. If I put the time into searching the net in front of a screen instead of sitting infront of a slot machine screen I'll actually have something to show for myself. As I said in previous posts. I have relapsed. I have not taken on this recovery to date . I have gone back and forth and only kidded my self. I have lost thousands of dollars during my so called recovery. What is recovery if I am still entertaining playing. I have to admit I could use some encouragement and support. Today I am sitting here contemplating driving off, it's in me . I want to do something different. I thought of getting a tatoo to represent recovery. Since I am not getting a tatoo right now perhaps the purchace, as I said above, would help solidify my focus. I am struggling. I am here. I want things to be differnt this time. I gambled recently , it's only been a few days since I began to write about recovery again and share. odaat T2

Only you can make things different this time & driving off to a casino will mean everything stays the same! It's hard, sometimes may even feel impossible but you can do this...You have gone for very long periods before so you know you can! Put your trainers on & go for a run/walk, stick a film on, start browsing for bargains, read more posts (GT has a thread on tips for keeping busy), have a bath, pick up a book...Anything as long as it's not gambling because this urge, like all if them will pass!

We cannot win because we cannot stop but by stopping, we win every day! It will get easier but you must keep fighting - ODAAT

Thank You 'ODAAT', I appreciate you taking the time to write. I came here to see if there was anyone who read my post as I needed or at least wanted some support. So, thank=you. I have stayed home all day. All the best to you. I will read some more posts before signing off . T2

Thanks for the drop in and post 🙂 take one day at a time, you 100% can do this. #Justbelieve

Today marks one week since I last gambled and since then I have imagined this one machine in particular that a woman had over one thousand dollars on as she played . I watched her as I was sitting next to here. I wondered if she was like me. I wondered if that 1200 dollars was nothing compared to all she had lost over time and even that day. She exclaimed it's a losing game. I thought, it doesn't look like it's a losing game for you today. But, I remember sitting with over 1000 on my machine and knowing that it was a grain of sand compared to all the money I threw away that day and over the year along with all the pain and suffering I had endured. So to another seeing my 1000 on a machine may have looked like a true bonus but to me it was a whole different story. This woman then lost 400 dollars rather quickly and exclaimed to here daughter, I presume, that it was time to cash out and go home. I thought. Did she really go home with 800 dollars or was she like me. She seemed distressed and angry, not happy at all. So I would say that it is a losing game. I know it well. Here I am one week later. Everything in my life is the same except that a switch has been shifted to another position. I can turn on recovery or turn on addiction. It's just a flick away , such a fine line between odaat and following the addiction. But these ways of living are opposites. It's one or the other and it can never be both. If I have to choose which one is it. It can not be two choices. I can not do odaat and gamble because they are different and do not go together. If I gamble it is NOT odaat living. Here's to today. T2

Hi T2 , Just popped by to say I've read your posts and to say a big well done on your week of abstainance.!

We all have the switch you mention , the one that say's "Gamble" or "Don't ", but the ultimate decision on or off is down to us !.

It's strange but just before I decide to quit , I can remember watching others gamble , almost like being an out of body experience but looking at someone who mirrors yourself , if that makes any sense ?.

I new then that I had to stop and change my life , coming up for 70 day's later and I'm still not gambling and my life's definately changing for the better .!

Also those treats you mention , Go for it !. It's you reward for changing your life and you deserve them !.

In my short period of being gamble free , I've brought , clothes , trainers , am currently redecorating the house and ordered a new sofa for the lounge ! . Just shows how much money I've thrown away !

Your definately not on your own anymore , so keep posting !!.

Best wishes for your recovery Alan

If I could scream out 'd**n it' and just freak out. Sometimes! It's so frustrating. Compulsive gambing is an addiction. I came to this site this a.m. to read a few entries. It feels like I can't have something that I'd like to do and that is like a drug. And I know and we know that gambling is like a cocain addiction for the brain and chemistry of the body. Just let it all pass I say. Sit with it day by day. I have coffee here and I'm online at ebay looking for a deal. Is that like gambling in some way. I found that I can do the auctions. Well at least I could get something in return for my money. It's a bit exciting and a little bit like a risk when it comes down to the last minute to bid. But bidding and betting are different. I just want to get a deal on some shoes and it is rewarding to get a deal. I wonder what others think of this? It early in my new commitment to odaat. It's going to be a ride. T2