Staying out of the ZONE (T2)

Today is day 9. Way to go, right. It was a very difficult evening and morning until I decided to meditate and do some self care. Active recovery involved doing things to help ourselves. So I'm trying. T2

Hi tara, just popping in to congratulate and wish you well on day 9 of recovery !.

Regards Alan

Day 10. Am I counting days now? Sure seems like it. But there is only today. An old friend gave me a push to find a better job and relocate. She offered to assist me in helping myself in a way that she was able to. She has a lot of money but I am not after handouts. Someone who wants to help me to do it myself is health for me. I have one more friend that is also strong is support that I have not met with for a long time. I tend to be a loner. I like it that way but I also have to and want to connect and share sometimes and consistantly. It's day 10 and I am here writing. It's all in the moment to moment. We could be gone in a flash. Make the most of life today... trying! T2

Congratulations on double figures T2 🙂

I did indeed get married, poor sod (him not me) & I've gone from nagging girlfriend who rarely shaves her legs to nagging wife who never needs to 😉

What a wonderful post...This addiction is not about money & you are so right not to accept financial help! Welcome the support with open arms & use it to help fix you! I'm not exactly a people person myself but this place is amazing, we can drop in anytime we like, ooo, who was it that was talking about Hotel California the other day, they were spot on, because we can never leave! For us, learning to live alongside our addictions allows us to live & not just exist!

Time to start living life to the full - ODAAT

When I relapsed and slipped up during the many years that I've been in recovery and trying I always had a plan in my head. I always thought that one day I'd just go back for a spin and win. I played slots. I still see those future openings in my head. I think the only way to stay away from this futuristic fantasy is to stay odaat in the moment and decided moment to moment. When I have to drive by a casino I know that in that moment I have a choice . If I am not in the moment and I know that i have to drive by I may plan to take time to go in since I'm going that way anyway. Its a very difficult mind game and there really is not winning or hiding. It's hard for me to be this honest. If I am not this honest I will keep on going down the same path. T2

And onto saturday morning. It's friday night. I'm feeling alone. I know that I can make it. T2

I am almost to two weeks gamble free from slot machines. It one day at a time. I do not like counting days because it's been a trigger for me. But if I count months then it's also the same. So I'll count days because it is odaat recovery that seems to keep those who have years under their belts clean of the addiction and solidly in recovery.

My journey has left me hopeful but when I look around me I see what my addiction has manifested in my life. I have cleaned up some of the mess but then added to it many times. I'm feeling healthier but that could change for the worse. All of my times out gambling have taken me closer to colapse. It's never just a fun time. It's never an experiment without consequences. It's never an honest undertaking. I am never in control. The only control I have it to choose recovery and not go at all. T2

I made it here today and for that I am grateful. I had a choice. I had some free time. There are many ways to spend free time. gambling is not a FREE way to spend free time. It's expensive on all levels . I give up more than money when I gamble. Even if I win some money and mange to leave with it (which would be rare) I loose my recovery for that day and maybe more. I lose when I gamble. Today is Sunday. I'm making a nice dinner for myself. I'm happy to be here. I wrote in another thread that I started about my slot addiction. I was looking for other who are addicted to slots and casinos environment gambling. ONe person replied and I took the opportunity to share more about my experience there. Earlier today I felt that this online help does not have enough interaction... but what else do I have? I have not ga in my area. Just for today I will not gamble. All the best. T2

I had strong urges and fantasies today , this morning and last evening about gambling. I felt effected by them in my body and my head. I went to ebay and continued my search for boots. It took my mind off of the urges. It is 2 weeks for me today. Day 14. T2

Well done Tara,

Stay strong and keep pushing through.

Suzanne xxx

Hi Tara .. Our stories seem pretty identical I too find it so hard to stop and it's dragging me down u are not alone I will try and stay in touch daily with your story and when I have enough energy I will post my own .. Big kisses for u and here's to tomorrow a day free from gambling

Passed the two week mark. My slot machine gambling over the last three years (10 total) has been one of restraint from doing to for months or a month then out to play for a day or a few or a couple times in the course of a few weeks. Sometimes it was one time then I go back to staying away and sometimes I went through a period of time where it was always on my mind and I also played scratcher tickets (usa). All in all I sit in a better place today than a couple years ago. But the lows of gambling, the regret , the hardship of the loss , the toll on my mind and body has alway always, been present with each and every bout. I wonder about the times in between the days I gambled???? I think that unless I really commit I might as well say that I am a binge gambler because I spend so much money hundreds each time I go out and lose my needed earnings. Odaat. that is what is the biggest slogan in the recovery realm. Today I am here on a rainy day and I wanted to be gambling. I want to not even think about gambling. I don't know how to get it out of my head totally. I have managed for months at at time but I hate to have to say no... I hate the restraint and I hate even more the result of going out. It's a double edged sword. But the sword is much sharper on the side of gambling! It cuts deeeeep. So here's to day 15 gamble free from slots. I bought two scratchers in the last two days. T2

day 17 odaat choices in the moment to moment of life... don't look too far ahead... not even a day when it comes to gambling... just look at myself in the mirror right now... anytime I feel like giving in look at myself/feel/remember ... odaat T2

Tomorrow is day 21.

Well, it's sleeting outside and today is day 21. T2