So today marks 18 days and I'm staying strong. Those of you who know me via the group chat will know I love my football. I managed to watch a fair amount over the weekend without the urge or relapse back into the dark place. Saturday night after nodding off I did have a dream, I dreamt I was playing a fruit machine in the local pub, I hardly ever played slots, so why am I dreaming this!! I woke feeling weak and down that I had this dream, it felt as if I failed and if it really happened!!
Luckily enough I had overtime at work and quickly got dressed and managed to work and take my mind off things!!
Sunday after work had enough jam packed evening watching the games and went to bed with no thoughts, urges or dreams!
I know its a long recovery, I know it's a lifetime illness, but the 1 thing I 100% know and what I feared is that I can still watch the game I love (no matter what team) without falling into the trap!!
It may sound petty that I managed to get through a weekend watching football without betting, but without that betting also kept me off the casino, provided a takeaway for my family as didn't spend any of my weekly budget gambling and has made me extremely proud of what ive achieved so far.Â
I owe gamcare and the people I talk to on a daily basis everything for getting me back on track.Â
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Stay strong, stay positive, stay gf!!Â
Well done. That's eccelent. That progress must make you feel good.Â
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I also love my football no matter who wolves beat lol.
Hi DeanÂ
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Well done on your 18 days, you should be very proud.Â
Keep strong and all the best with your continued journeyÂ
Kay ?
Hi kayÂ
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Thanks for the kind words. I hope you are doing well.Â
I believe everyday is a strong and positive day! I feel like a new me and its amazing. Just need to stay focused and strong.
How is your recovery going??Â
That's great to hear? was going well, managed 24 days then had a step back and it made me really Ill. I'm now 8 days GF again , i just want to be a better person and feel happy but at the minute I still have a lot of regret and guilt from what I did but i can only get better hopefully.Â
Kay ?
Sorry to hear that Kay, I doubt for 1 minute you're a bad person, so no need to say you wanna be a better person!! We've made mistakes, we've owned up to our mistakes, it's now that we need to rectify and heal!!
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Always here if you want a chat.Â
We can do it ?
Thanks Dean!
Means a lot,Â
I do feel like a bad person at the minute because I dont want to be this person but that's now in the past and i can recover. I am determined to do this and with each others support, we can both smash this!Â
Means a lot to be part of such a kind, supportive community Â
Kay ?
Well Done Dean !!!
You are better than the gambling. We all are. Keep going.
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Apologies chezza I must of missed this yesterday and feel rude I didn't reply..Â
I do feel good but know there's a long way to go.Â
I won't mention wolves I'll skip that part lol x
1 month!! 31 days without being hurt, ashamed and wasteful!
How a month can change someone's life!! I've gained so much, from family time, paying off debts, concentrating more and work but the best thing of all is I have myself back!! All my family and friends can hear it in my voice and change in my behaviour! My closet got opened and I cleared it out and I will never close that door again! This is still the start of my journey but its a good journey, beneficial journey and a safe and healthy journey!
As always thank you everyone on here and to anyone new, stay strong it does get better x
Row row row your boat with them two big oars
And if you pass a bookies than dont walk through the doorsÂ
For your a man of honour and it is good to see
Your happy now and smiling cos your one month gamble free
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Congratulations and respect DeanoÂ
From
StephenÂ
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Stace and Stephen thank you so much!! Without your help and support I would never of done it!!
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Stephen I have that song stuck in my head now!!
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Hope you're both well and doing OK!
Â
Deano x
Pleased to see you are doing so well Dean.
On Tuesday you will be 40 days away from your last gamble and that is a great milestone. I always believe the first 40 days to be the hardest but that being said, we must always be on our guard.
Wishing you every success as you continue on your journey of recovery which hopefully will be a great adventure for you and your loving family.
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Proud of you my friend and watching your progress with respect.
Stephen
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Thanks for your support and popping on my diary,
Well done on your acheivements so far in recovery and staying gamble free
Loulou xÂ
Dear Dean07,
Such lovely comments for you and all well deserved! You are making great headway in your recovery.
Best Wishes
Fiona
Forum AdminÂ
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