Staying Strong to end the misery .

Your right there Moorey , still fresh in my mind the despondency I felt time after time after time after time , like a never ending nightmare . Hope I can stay strong and chuck it once and for all .

Congratulations on your 50 days gambling free. Take it a day at a time & they soon start adding up. Well done, stay strong & reap the rewards of a gamble free life.

Hello Diary . Was buzzing leading up to day 50 on friday . Been a bit down over the weekend and had headaches and stomach aches . Negative thoughts about my life in general , coupled with sadness at my past actions and failures . Wish I could go back and change things which is a fruitless exercise cos I can't . Trying to muster up a bit of positivity which seems to come and go . I certainly have no intention of gambling though . Living in hope for a brighter tomorrow .

Hello Stephen, i can relate to that. I think its natural, its biarre really but redis)covery has a grieving stage to it. So much time with the head stuck in the sand and then booom the light shines without the fobt shades and blinds us. Keep plodding on and just sit and breathe, it will pass

Hang on in there you're doing so well and your positivity and encouragement can light up the darkest day! I can understand it must be painful to regret past actions but self-loathing is, as you say pointless. So for tonight be kind to yourself because you are being the best you can be. Take care and yes here's to a brighter tomorrow S:)

Thankyou Volcano and Sharon . Really appreciate your encouraging words , the support of my GamCare friends means so much to me , it raises my hopes of getting some kind of life back .

I have only been with GamCare 7 weeks and feel the utmost gratitude for this chance to overcome my gambling addiction .

I have noticed on a few occasions members writing derogatory remarks about the forums rules and etiquette .

I personally have no desire to view foul or abusive language or read inappropriate comments .

I applaud GamCare for the good work they do in a challenging environment .

This Forum is a god-send Abs.

Well done on your gamble free days.

As a chilld I was an avid astronomer and Patrick was my hero. Only a few days ago I sat on a bench at midnight under the dark sky imagining what wonders lie in the dark beyond.

Did you catch any decent activity last night?

Markman

Thanks for the kind words Mark . I have a lot of respect for your 175 Days GF , well done .

I'm feeling better after a few off days . Just been for a swim and a steam @ the gym and ready for my salsa class later , it's a lot of fun but not everyones cup of tea .

54 Days since I had a bet . Pleased to say I don't even want to gamble which makes my recovery a bit of a stroll in the park . Got another Counselling Session on friday which will be beneficial . Bills and debt repayments paid up to date . Bit of money in bank , enough cash in my wallet to get food and socialise . Money on my Asda gift card in case I did lose lose the plot I can always get something to eat . Bit of a breeze really but always aware not to get too complacent . My traumatic memories of the shame and desperation will stay with me .

Wishing all friends success in their recovery and good times ahead .

Well done Abs. 54 days is great. Keep going!

Sadly I live smack bang in the middle of Greater London. Where I live the sky is generally a dim yellow at night and I can see the brightest stars only.

There is something very settling and reassuring about a star-filled sky. When times are bad I think of John Webster and his epic line "the stars shine still."

Sounds as though you have some nice places to sit and muse. Nature has come to my sanity's rescue on many an occasion when all else seemed hopeless. I am sure you can relate.

Anyway off to bed now. Be proud of your achievement. No person who regrets their action deserves to suffer any. Enjoy your evidently varied and action filled gamble free life.

Mark

Thanks for that Mark ..... Liked your line " The Stars Shine Still " ....... For sure i'm only here for the twinkling of an eye , in 100 years nobody will even know I existed . By that time all the teeny weeny bits of me will be constituents of other things ! .......Maybe a bird , a flower , or more likely I will be in amongst the fishes and plankton ( won't wake me from this deep slumber ! cast my ashes in the Humber ) . On that cheery note I'll move on .

A few of the old cliches sometimes help ; ........" Who knows what's blowing in tomorrows wind " ...... " One day at a time " ....... " I can't choose the dance but I can choose how I dance to it " ....... When the going gets tough , the tough get going ." ...... We all have our coping strategies and motivational techniques but we don't want to forget where we're really at .

Love and best wishes to my friends and fellow travellers . We're all alone yet together , migrants on the recovery road fleeing the brutal regime of gambling addiction .

Hi Diary . Feeling good today , the positives in my life from not gambling cannot be overstated . Getting my social life back on track , I'd forgotten what peace of mind was but it's slowly returning .

Several years to pay off my debts but it's sorted in a manageable way and I can still lead a full life ( no grandiose holidays or extravagant lifestyle but thats to be expected ) . My finances are in order which is a big relief .

I do find it difficult to accept , that the money I have squandered on fobt machines is gone forever . I know it is , but part of me struggles to accept it . I don't know if that will ever completely go away but I hope so .

Looking forward to another counselling session tomorrow , last weeks was cancelled .

Great to get your finances sorted, most of us have to live with the looming debt which is run up quickly but is slow to pay off but we'll get there! ! Glad your feeling good and spreading your positivity as always S:)

The thoughts of the loss's will slide from the mind eventually Stephen, especially now I see you in the second row dancing the fandango. You'll be soon be leading it as you dance away from this insidious addiction https://youtu.be/Id-zpJmGfpo

Hi Stephen, 58 days is great going! Hope you are having a good weekend and thanks again for your support and encouragement. I haven't posted much this week as have been worn lots but what to keep on an even keel so will check in everyday. Take care S:)