Steady as she goes!

Weldy!

Great to read you are still doing ok. Im glad you are happy with your life - I am too. Was just thinking about you the other day as its nearly a year since we started on here.

Keep that control my friend

Eyes X

Hi Weldy

Good to see you are happy, but not gamblin free scares me but I hope you are good at controlling that. Somehow I am on day 370! Don't ask me how as I would love a bet , just do the one day at a time thing. It works or should I say its working. good luck mate it's nice to hear from good guys like you.

Take Care

Hey Weldy,

The last we heard from you, you were going off to Majorca....thought you may have decided to stay there!

It's good that you are able to say you are happy. After all, that's what it's all about. Good for you.

Hope work and the band are going good too.

Jas x

Thanks guys/gals for your comments.

I'm good thanks, and no I didn't stay in Majorca Jas! Though it was nice out there, but too many commitments here! Good to see you back here Jas x

I thought I'd come on the diary and look a few people up and it's nice to see many of you are here and doing good.

Well done City mate! That's really great news, and did you get any luck on the job front yet?

Eyes - what can I say but glad to hear from you and hope life is treating you better x

I didn't want to come back and talk widely about what I'm doing on a daily basis as it's not the place to do so.

What I would say is that my long abstension from gambling last year really put things back on track for me, and apart from a few minor blips, things have been pretty good. & I am continuing to do well.

I'm very grateful to Gamcare & my old "friends" on here for the help & support I received during that time.

Keep up the good work x

Weldy

Hi Kevin

Nice of you to pop in and check on a few people. It's always good to hear from people who have stayed away from the forum.

I used to automatically assume that they were back at it and doing theirselves in.

You saying you have gambling under control scares me, but ..this is your life...and only you know what you can and cannot do. And hopefully this site has given you enough tools to work with.

I know I couldn't do what you are doing. It would take me back where I was and much further down, me thinks.

All the best

Charly/Sabine

Ok, here's how it is.....

I haven't had the best of times over the past couple of months, and I thought (maybe rather foolishly) that I had a grip on this.

Almost a year ago I joined this site, at the end of my tether, and managed a period of non-gambling of over 7 months - longer than I had ever achieved before. It was great! I never felt better and what I achieved in that time was phonomenal.

I drifted back to my old ways slowly, control was debatable at times, but on the whole I was okay. (so I thought...)

Without Gamcare (and the support of friends I made on here last year) I was basically "screwed" to put it bluntly and was in a deep hole I didn't know how to get out of. But I did it. Painful at times it was a hard road, but a road that had to be taken.

I really now feel I am starting to dig myself another hole having spent the best part of the previous year climbling out of one, and filling it back in.

So I have decided to call a halt to things again, before I end up back where I was before.

I return, not with my head hung in shame, I have been reading some of my own words written over the past year and just think it's about time I started listening to myself again.

I am damaged again, but I know that I have to get a grip now... not leave it any longer! Damaged but not destroyed!

I am a compulsive gambler... I never thought I was "cured" - but I did lose sight of who I really am again, and that person I become when I gamble needs to be banished once more. I like the other person better.

So here I go again.....

Weldy

Hi Weldy,welcome back,you know exactly what you need to do :).I have read a fair bit of your diary over the last couple of months.

I Look forward to reading your future posts.

Seano.

Hi Weldy,

I think its a very common thing with gambling.. in that once we have dug ourselves out of the whole we dug for ourselves we start digging another one. It can almost happen without one really noticing. Sounds like you have decided to re-affirm your committment to a non-gambling lifetsyle.. thats great!

One of the things that am really beginning to appreciate from those wise recovering gamblers at Ga who have stayed away from it, in some cases, for decades is this... "staying connected" with other recovering gamblers "in some way".. even if its only reading about someone elses gambling misery.. is important. Cos its only human nature to forget or minimise ones own gambling misery.

Anyway welcome back.. all the best.. S.A

Morning Weldy,

Good to have you back with us lot. As you can see I am still here...working my recovery. Been pretty successful but it takes energy.

Anyway, missed you whilst you were awol and happy you have decided to return.

Jas xx

Hi Weldy

Nice to have you around again (for me), and not at the same time(for you). But at least you have recognised the signs that things were going downhill and taken steps early to rectify it. I have come back to using the site regularly now and it def helps me. I did manage a few months away last year but slipped back into old habits quickly.

Hopefully you will remember all the things you have learned last time around and that might make it a little easier now.

King wishes

Eyes X

weldy. . Very Interesting reading mate. . You ve recognised the signs so that itself is a good thing. . Keep posting. . We can do this. . wp

Hiya all and thank you for your words of support.

I don't think I realised quite how much I needed them. Unfortunately, got off to a "false start" yesterday and failed in my beginning.

I am good today though, my first day of "new" recovery is underway.

Having reviewed yesterday in my head, I have now remembered why it's so hard to get started again. The losses are "too fresh" to forget, and another thing - that part of your head that says "I will stop, but let me just stop after a winning day!"

That of course just doesn't happen, because if I had have won, then I'd just be gambling again today because "yesterday wasn't so bad!"

Anyway, time to put all I learned before back into practice, put up the barriers again and start planning my recovery.

It's now back in my head today, the focus has returned. I think I am going to count days on here again as I think it helped me before, but as I get back into posting more I may not need to do it.

Nice to be back at last, that cave I was in was becoming a little too dark for my liking.

Cheers all

Weldy

It's a minor achievement, but I have made it through my first day again. The whole situation seems duanting again right now, but I haven't forgotten how little by little things began to get better last year.

Things are not as bad as they were then, so keep focused and remember ODAAT. Things cannot get worse if I do not gamble.

It's been good though to have a day without reliving all the "near misses" and the things that went wrong, and to have a clear head, even though my head has been thinking constantly about the long road ahead.

Well, time to go to bed. On to another day.

Weldy

Notes to self:

Still up, can't seem to sleep yet. I have been reading back through my diary from last year, and just wondering why I allowed myself the complacency to slip back into old ways.

Now feeling kinda disappointed with myself as it was clear when reading my own words that things were good and getting better the longer my recovery continued.

Why would I have wanted that to change? and how did I allow it to?

For a long time I was intensely focussed on my recovery and things were so much better. I shouldn't have allowed things to go back towards the way they were.

I guess that there is no point in crying over spilt milk, it's not going to change anything, so I'm just going to try and move on from here.

I'm looking forward to being able to write the same thoughts I had in my previous days. I clearly was so much happier the longer I went into my recovery.

I think that I may consider giving GA another chance? Need to check the barriers are built a lot stronger this time around.

Weldy

Morning Weldy,

I'm really happy for you...happy that you were able to recognise you were returning to old ways and came back for support sooner rather than later. Who said recovery should be achieved in one hit anyway?

All we can do is try our very best to make a positive difference.

Jas xx