Day 50
And not out!
Had fun at a party yesterday and just chilling out today. I will do some work tomorrow.
Day 51
I'm just about partied out! Back in the work mindset now and into the slog! ODAAT!
Day 52
Off out to work all day. No gambling necessary! ODAAT!
Day 54
Relegated all the way down to page 4 - wow!
Obviously a busy little forum right now.
Work is rubbish at the moment, with a lot of problems, but I'm not going to let it get me down, got to keep on going!
Gambling is NOT an option! ODAAT!
Day 55
Bit of gardening duty, some euro football and a lot of lazyness!
Pay day loans... Wonga... what a rip off... discuss!
Hi ya,
Never got into those pay day loans so I suppose I was one of the lucky ones, to coin a fraze.
But from what I have read on here, think to a CG they are like stepping in quick sand.
Before too long you are upto your neck in trouble, and clawing to stop yourself going under .
Dusty xxxxxxxxx
No me neither Dusty, but it's just outrageous that people so hard up are just ripped off so much - scandalous!
Can't believe they can state 4214% with a serious face on them!
It's just legalised robbery in my humble opinion.
I am based in Ireland this is unreal Wonga and such like are a poison on society. These are not a choice disgusting they prey on those that don't have and screw them.
Day 56
Shopping for groceries for my mother this morning.
Feeling tired and a little strange today with the world today.
Technology has failed me as my email has strangely decided to stop working aswell.
ODAAT
Hi Weldy, thank u 4 ur support on my diary 🙂
Well done on the 56 days gamble free, u r doing brilliant!
I hope ur email starts working again soon 🙂
Stay strong and keep going 🙂
Thank you Charlotte.
I have been doing a lot of reading of diaries this morning and it really brings back those feelings of panic, anxiety, stress, self loathing, hate, worthlessness, despair!
I am really not missing those things.
I feel a sense of shame for the years of ambling aimlessly through life like a piece of driftwood, working tirelessly but achieving nothing.
I returned to the forum nearly two months ago for a reason, a very important one.
At 43, I know time is running out for me to secure my future in my older years and whilst I have my health my earning capacity is good.
But this will change and I have spent too long earning money for others, mainly bookmakers!
I am saving for a mortgage, but my bank statements were riddled with countless deposits to a well known online gambling establishment.
I did not want the shame of being quizzed by someone about this or the ultimate rejection of "computer says NO!"
This is my only block in place.
It's not foolproof, but it's working for me.
It was time to "man up and step up to the plate"
I will not fail, because I will not allow it.
ODAAT
hi there buddy... seems you know where you are and where you are going to.... hope this journey will bring you peace and happiness... reading through your recent posts I have found few thing I can relate to:
1. wonga, quick quids and consortes - probably I know if not all of them, then many of them, and I m really glad these vultures I have left behind me - guaranteed, 99 of 100 customers they are preying on, are gamblers or people somehow addicted to something... exactly last monday I have paid my - really hope so - last instalment to them (680 pounds of return for 480 - 200 - more than 50% - in interest over just nearly 7 weeks)... if you fail to pay (which i never - thanks to god - did), then problems are really start spiralling and taking to you to very dark and gloomy side, you are getting fines (lets say 40 or 50 quid) and shorter and shorter terms to repay, every time with interest on the top of it... this is lifes ruining trap an people behind it are - arm to arm with drug dealers and child offenders - worst kind of... plainly speaking - beware and avoid like a plague... shame it is legal...
2. doing less or being lazy (something you related to in my diary), actually it is not about laziness (though being lazy is a good start) — it’s about focusing on quality rather than quantity. "It’s about getting off the hamster wheel of productivity, so that you can create something great rather than just being busy." I m under quite big impression of blog www.zenhabits.net, which i have recently discovered - quite a lot of harmless and useful advice. Doing less but doing and live better - something what speaks volumes to me... 🙂 I know that having to much off time is not something advised to CG's, but on the other hand being constantly busy makes me stressed, tired and vulnerable. Between these factors has to be golden point - I m looking for it and trying to apply it;
3. my bank statement (I m 39 yo) quite likely looks like yours plus all the bloody payday loans on it - but can t see a reason why I should feel ashamed of it when I face bank workers - made my choices, made them wrong - I have to admit - but they were entirely mine and there is no even slightest opportunity for anyone - clerk, credit manager or whoever - to judge me on that basis - if credit scoring system says no - what Im sure will say - OK, have to live with the consequences of my past, but for the rest of involved people there is a bign warning sign "dont even try to cross the line"; obviously you can think completely different about it, but you know, this beating ourselves up has to finish at some point - we have got enough number of people to convince - ourselves, our families, close friends and realtives, so what is a point to bother about the others and feel guilt and shame because of them?
take care. K.
Day 57
A damp day to say the least!
Really quite content without the gambling but not so with the work situation. It has been a really good past six months, but there are dark clouds that have descended over the work front.
Going to be a tough few weeks to blow them away to allow a period of sunny shells.
I will need to be about my wits to keep things on the right path, so for today, I will not gamble.
ODAAT.
Day 60
A very long day today! Just got back in from rehearsal after an early morning start. Still have to do some work before bedtime aswell and another early one tomorrow.
All is good and I'm very pleased to have reached this milestone. (two thirds of the original target that I have set myself)
ODAAT!
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