Steady as she goes!

Well, I think I'm becoming a workaholic now!!!

Still, its better than gambling and will help when my big tax bill hits in August! I should have had the money already, but have gambled the lot, so I need to work hard.

This is my usual pattern, but with one big difference, that is, I normally don't give up the gambling!

I've been going for 19 days now, so very happy with how things are, as they are going pretty well.

I'm on top of my work, be it that I'm at full stretch and struggling a little, but quite enjoying the buzz.

Anyway, gotta go now as I have to pick up the kids for the weekend and have to battle the rush hour traffic and the M25!!!

Weldy

Hi Weldy

Sounds like you are thriving on being busy - Im really glad for you. We are both only at the beginning but think we have been so positive from the outset and Im sure we can do this. You sound like you have so much belief in yourself too.

Ive been amazed at how much more I am able to concentrate on work these days. Everything i do seems to be of a better standard than before because half my mind isnt thinking about the 3.15 at York or wherever!

Life is good friend - hope you and the kids have a great weekend.

Eyes X

Hi Weldy and LyE, so true about being able to focus on work and life in general without thinking of that next "hit".

Glad Weldy you are getting a buzz from doing normal things and good luck with your continuing gamble free days.

Hope your journey is a stress free one!! Min x

Hi Weldy,

Hope you are enjoying your weekend with your children?

Great to see your progress and how positive your posts are. I'm sure there is a bright future ahead for you.

Jas xx

Hi Weldy

Cheers for the post its always great to hear from others.

Tried unsuccessfully to read your diary from the beginning (Internet connection) but read the last few posts we are very similiar ages and seem to have the same tastes in music. Music has always played a huge part in my life. And although I have never been in a band have found myself on stage many times. Been to some really great gigs some expected (Queen)some not quite as expected (Niel Sedaka)

Managing now to fill my time with other more productive things There is life after gambling.

All is well in Danm land

All quiet today, weather is good so in an out of the garden. Bit of a comedown from the gig last night, as it was an excellent gig and the pub was rocking! Particularly to Chelsea Dagger, Suspicious Minds and the finale of Town called Malice & 500 miles!

Seems all a little quiet today.

No thoughts of gambling, not interested in it at all. Will spend a bit of time with te kids before they go home and then get back to work as I have a big day tomorrow and a busy week ahead, so need to get a jump on it before the weekend is over!

Weldy

Well, just about to take the kids home after a good weekend - no gambling and in a few hours will complete day 21. Happy about that, it's been a great 3 weeks and progress is being made.

Things are still very tight on the money side, as they will be for a long time, but it isn't bugging me as I know that I am not making things worse, and that things are improving, even if it is slowly.

I can't undo all that time in just a few weeks, that's impossible, but at least i am not trying to get rich quick gambling and making a hash of it and making myself unhappy at the same time.

Life's good, Life's simple, Life's uncomplicated right now.

A clear head is worth giving up gambling for.

Weldy

Day at a time dude and 21 of them is great.

I find that the biggest help I get from abstaining is completely forgetting about money. I have huge debts but somehow have found the strength to forget about it , I know this is hard for most but you sound strong enough to do this. I hope this doesn't sound patronising as it is not meant to be. Dwelling on money issues in my view is negative to the whole recovery progress. The main idea of recovery is to stop gambling of course but also to be a better person and your posts show that you work on this daily and I admire that. Like I said 21 days is great progress all the other things will fall in place. Take Care and keep the strength up.

Thanks City,

I'll take that on board, I can see that focusing on the wrong thing can be a negative.

I am as you say doing my best to improve myself and my life and pass on the benefits to those around me.

I think to those on the forum, sometimes hearing about money is the last thing that they want to hear and I get that.

Keep up your own great progress and just to let you know you missed a cracking gig last night! Weldy

Can't sleep so wanted to write something on my diary.

A few things that have come up on the forum over the last few days that have my mind working.

One person wrote about playing "free for fun" online games whilst abstaining from gambling. Since abstaining I haven't played any free online games.

I did think to myself at the start of my recovery that I might play some of these (poker). However, on reflection I think that this would be a negative step, partly because it might make me want to play for real, (an un-necessary risk) but more importantly, I have found myself again by keeping a clear mind and recovering all that lost time I used to spend gambling. I am enjoying making much better use of my time, than wasting it playing pointless games.

Another thing that has cropped up is that a forum member is using their diary in a different way, more as a means of damage limitation or reducing the frequency or the severity of their gambling problem.

I have come to accept that whilst the forum contains many people we are able to relate to and recognise the places and feelings they have, we are all at many different stages of recovery.

Therefore, the aim must be an individual aim, it is not for someone else to choose which path we take or which rules we set ourselves or abide by.

I am happy with my 100% abstention from gambling, thus far it is working for me, but for some that may not be their aim at present and therefore I will accept that, even though my belief or ideals may be different.

Another thing is that sometimes I read a diary that doesn't quite sit right with me. I have decided to leave these to others if I don't feel connected.

Well, these are the ramblings of a wide awake, lunatic at 3.30am who can't sleep because he's too excited about next saturday's gig. Gonna get some beach balls to kick out into the crowd for fun, that's how stupid my mind is at this time of the morning!

Tell you one thing - it's great to be feeling alive again!!

Weldy

Hi Weldy,

I tried everything down the years and the only thing that works for me is complete abstinenceand a mindset that gambling does not exist. I understand if people use this site to control their gambling and become responsible gamblers it's just not for me and something I can not connect with.

Never ever again for me and live life one day at a time. I do have plans for the future of course but need to get the present right first.

Hi Weld, I do feel you are right when you say it must be all or nothing and no halfway measures will work. It is all too easy to start off playing with a small amount of money when we had our "strong" days and yes we probably could do this several times. But it would only take one "off" day and the whole thing would spiral out of control again. I think this is because our brains work differently to other non gamblers and blanks out every sensible thought!!!

So agree with you abstinence is the only way forward.

Do mention money in my diary quite a bit, have to say. But that has been because it was part and parcel of my problem. Now that I have managed to sort out a solution I am already finding it much easier to concentrate on not wanting to gamble and stopped thinking about chasing my losses. So all good.

Hope you can catch up with your sleep tonight as sounds like you will need all your energy!! Min x

hi weld

im new on here and just read your diary and it makes me feel like i can acclomplish what you have, so many diarys have people relaypsing but not yours this makes me very happy that someone is doing it. i have been gambling for a few years roulette bookies poker. i have managed to give up roulette and bookies but poker still has a hold on me i am trying amd i will give up i know. its just nice to see a diary where things are moving forward. keep it up mate !!!

You are doing so absolutely brilliant Weldy. I am so very proud of you. I wished I lived closer to you so that I could go to one of your gigs.....they sound amazing.

I like your diary. We/I have our favourites. I find it strange how, as an individual, you can get vibes purely by posting on a forum. Somehow a connection is made through the use of words....know what I mean?

I will continue to follow your diary. It helps me a lot.

Jas xx

Hi Kev

What a cracking post from your insomnia ramble! I agree totally. Each to there own and like Jas said - sometimes you get a 'connection' when you read the diaries and sometimes you dont - in which case you just leave people to their own thing.

Glad you are happy my friend.

Whats the latest on the horse? Has she run and you dealt with it or is that hurdle yet to come? If so Im sure you will fly it like Istabraq on a March afternoon!

Eyes X