stop this madness

Hi newhorizon, I feel your pain it dose really hurt when you lose a lot of money to the bookies, but try to not dwell on it to much as I did and it drove me back thinking I could win back my losses and put my self into a deeper mess. Good luck mate with your recovery

Hi new horizon, I gambled on roulette machines in bookies for 12 years spending £500 of my wages every month just crazy it was. Ive not gambled in 60 days today nearly two months but im not working at the moment, im off sick from work. I really want to get back to work, I miss not working hopefully it wont be long now.

Thanks for the replies.I managed to get my overdraft increased to cover the rent just about so that's eased the pressure slightly.I need to stay focused and not let this happen again.I've wiped out two months hard work in a blink of an eye.that ain't going to happen again.I have debt on credit cards but its manageable.I cut the cards up 2 months ago so I couldnt use them to gamble.thank god I did or it could be worse! I think anyone I save from now on will stay in the house.at least if I'm tempted I can't go online and deposit if its in the teapot.I'd never go into the bookies and handover a grand to play roulette but online I'd do it no probs.it doesn't feel like real money as I said.what is in your head when your depositing hard earned cash.its mental.

Stay strong newhorizon! I too have small children and I imagine how much better off they could be with that money.

They saw me crying the day I lost several grand and they couldn't understand why. That's the sort of turning point which makes you wonder why you ever did it.

Then you imagine why the bookies never close down or go bust and you realise they are basically sucking all your hard earned money from you and we are funding their champagne lifestyle.

Turn your desire to gamble into disgust for these establishments that have no conscience about ruining families and lives.

Use your despair to channel it towards something positive.

An idea which might work for you is to set goals involving your daughter. Ie, you don't have to tell her you have goals for going 'clean' on gambling but say to her after 2 weeks you will do x activity together, 3 weeks x activity (doesn't have to be anything expensive) but little rewards where she can benefit. The thought of letting her down may prevent you from doing it again.

Be strong - I'll be rooting for you.

Laura

Thank Laura I will try that.I was doing great and from Xmas I stayed clean.I went into saving overdrive to clear some of my debt.I hardly spent a penny all January and had my overdraft cleared.I felt relieved that I didn't have financial worry and that if I need stuff I was fine.but greed got the better of me and I thought if I just went online with a couple of hundred I could win and pay you f some of my credit card.needless to say that didn't happen and a grand gone in no time at all.back to being skint.feel so guilty when my daughter asked me for stuff and I don't have the money.but I have to be positive here and realise that I can get back to this point again within the next two months.I'm lucky to have a good job and that even though I'm a single working parent I can manage to have money leftover to save every month.just need to be patient and chip away at the debts.I need to be patient.gambling will not pay of my debts.will only make it worse.any spare cash I have will now be kept at home so that if temptation arises I can't blow it.a 20 quid overdraft charge a month is worth paying if it means I can't spend the money.

Hi its been 61 days since ive not gambled for, I went to the gym today and walked home past 3 betting shops I wasn't even tempted to go in. I just peeped in one and see a guy playing the machines fobts what a waste of time and money I spent on these machines.

Hi 'stop' well done for 61 days.hope u get back to work soon.Yeah time and money I've wasted online gambling is shocking.can't turn back the clock.gotta move forward and think how good the future will be.keep the past in the past.no more gambling.I quit smoking last June after 26 years so I do have willpower.didn't think I could do it but I have.

Hey new H

Tough times fella huh? You're in the right place, albeit a place where none of us really want to be. Financially you'll fix things as long as you stay clean......and try not to beat yourself up over the losses - the sinker you accept that they are gone the better.

Just wanted to say a few things......firstly of the huge admiration I have for you for raising a child on your own for such a long period. I've got a 3 year old daughter and really appreciate how tough it can be - equally though, it gives us an additional incentive - they depend on us, now and in the future.

Secondly, I've added you to the challenge 2014 thread you posted on today - please keep looking at the challenge regularly - it's a great source of encouragement and provides a huge sense of belonging and adds a new dimension to recovery - thanks for joining.

Lastly, your journey has begun - it doesn't seem long since I was in my first week......I still read my early days diaries......sometimes through wet eyes, others through my fingers......you have so much to look forward to......if you really want it.

Always here for a soldier!

Mr Brightside

Thank you Mr B.well day 3 for me.I know I won't gamble today.no money! But even after the setback of the week past I am feeling confident I can learn from it and I'm up for the fight! I've had some big challenges to overcome in my life.this addiction has been so destructive and its been in my life so long its made feeling low about myself and all the stress that goes with it feel like its normal.I've lurked on this forum for a few years and signed up last august but wasn't proactive.I determined to come here everyday now and keep strong.life can be good again.just have to be patient.

Well day 4 today.I don't have any money to gamble today.won't have for a while.the real test is down the line but I will be ready this time and better prepared.Im feeling so much more positive posting on here and joining Mr Bs challenge thread.I feel amongst friends and feel the support.I've tried over the years to deal with this on my own without success.could never tell my family or friends about my addiction.have hated living this life of lies for so long and all the stress associated with it.gambling has sucked the life out of me for years now.that's not going to happen anymore!

Day 5 today.so much coverage in the media today about problem gambling relating to fobts. I never played them much as I preferred to play roulette at home were no one could see what I was losing.its a real eye opener to see the bookies trying to act all responsible now to protect there massive cash cow.now you can set limits on fobts.yeah that will work! Not!!!! Anyone who has a problem gambling knows that your limit is every last penny you have available to you! It's pretty obvious they don't care about problem gamblers.I'm starting to see this industry for what they are.feel in good today.light has come on in my head.determined to keep it on!

2007 was the year gambling took over my life.the reason for this was I won.I was sitting one evening watching the darts when I saw a website advertised on a players shirt.I had only recently got my first computer so was spending a lot of time online.I never new all this stuff was available.I deposited 50 quid.wasn't going out tonight so this was my entertainment for the evening.I played a few different games but no luck.another 50 deposited then another 50.stated playing roulette which I'd never played in my life and then I stated to win.I was hooked.it was now 5am and I had 2500 in my account.the feeling was amazing.told everyone about my win.

Over the next few weeks I thought like many roulette players I had the winning system stupidly.cheques were arriving every few days and after a bout 6 weeks I had 10 grand sitting in my account.like many I thought this is easy.I don't even need to work.how naive I was.the buzz was amazing I felt like a king.

Well as you can guess the luck changed and before I new it within the the next few weeks it was all gone.I was gutted.how stupid I was etc.that money could of made things comfortable for me.

I was struggling paying my mortgage etc and a decide to sell my house and move in with my girlfriend at the time.that decision was based on the gambling loss as the relationship wasn't great.gambling effects the way you think about everything.I sold my house and made 70k. Most money I ever had in my life.

Anyway few months later and the relationship was over.was really depressed.off work sick and too much time on my hands.over the next few months the 70k was gone online.I was on the verge of suicide with what I'd done.my family new I had this money.at times I thought my head would explode with the stress.nobody could understand why I had no money.I never told them and they never asked.we arnt that close.but I felt so guilty cos I could of helped them out at times.the whole situation consumed my life.

I met someone else sometime later who if I had of been thinking straight I wouldn't have been with.I was all over the place in my mind.we moved in she fell pregnant and when the child was born she left me and my daughter when she was 12 weeks old.unreal! Now I was a single dad bringing up a baby.the biggest challenge of my life.I managed to continue to work.although I took four months off to get to grips with things.the money I once had could of made things so much easier.it always wrecked my head thinking about it.its a struggle working and paying childcare etc.

I've continued to gamble over the last few years.sometimes out of boredom.or trying to win some of my losses back.to make things more comfortable.always thinking of that initial win and how things were good then.

My daughter is 4 now.I'm still working and I have a great job and well paid.childcare costs decreased so I have disposable income so I can be comfortable and pay of some credit cards etc but I'm always lured to gambling to try and pay of this debt bit quicker and as you and I know this doesn't work.its two steps forward and 20steps back!

The pain of the losses 7 years ago have got easier.I have to look forward and not back.my daughter is the future.she needs me to be in control.I want a nice life for me and her.the first four years have been a struggle.I don't want the next 4 to be the same.I could write a book about my gambling and my struggle being a single dad.but this is the condensed version of my life! Gambling can really make you make bad choices in your life. Thanks for reading. Day 6 and gamble free from now on.good luck to everyone on here.

Day 7 today.feeling good and feeling positive.no footie bets yesterday.even though I only ever spent a fiver on a saturday the buzz of winning or the buzz of nearly winning planted the seed in my head to gamble and go online and play roulette and loose loads.So even though I could control my footie bets its what it leads to is the problem.if I'm going to beat this its no more gambling on anything.anyway feeling good today and confident I'm going to beat this.posting here and reading on this forum is such a help.I'll make this forum my new addiction.I can live with that!

Hi New

Well done on your week- it is a great achievement as the first week is the hardest in my opinion.

I read your posts and I can imagine it is hard to come to terms with the money lost but that was then and this is now. You dont have to lose anymore. You have obviously had a hard time of it bringing up your baby on your own but you are doing it and you should be so very proud of that.

Your life can be very different now if you stay on the right path.

Whats the point in having a wee bet?

If you win its only borrowing the money temporarily because it will eventually go back and if you lose you will chase with bigger bets until there is nothing left.

Yes it would have been great to realise this back then in our past when we had money but we know it now- 100 million percent- so we should never put ourselves or our family through anymore. To really win we need to keep our money in our pockets and not hand it over to them money grabbing b******s.

Anyway all I wanted to say was well done and keep it up!

Linda x