stop this madness

Heading out to pick up my daughter shortly.got through the weekend thankfully.had a few urges to gamble but I kept myself busy yesterday afternoon.the urges wernt as bad as they used to be.made myself a big steak last night and a few beers and watched the golf.had a great sleep and feel great today.if I had of gambled I would have had no sleep last night and felt like cr** today.I don't need that stress in my life anymore.life is stressful enough without making it worse.day 49 today.another step further away from my past.I'm going to win this fight.

50days gamble free. Back at day 1 I was so low and 50 days seemed like a million miles away but I'm here and feeling great! Abstaining from all gambling has been the key for me.no footie bets no Cheltenham.no golf. Not a heavy sports better.few quid here and there but usually gave me the bug to go online and go mad on roulette every so often.and that's my biggest problem.

The sense of reality and damage I cause myself mentally outweigh the gambling urges in my life now.I feel I've reached the point in my life were I really needed to get gambling outta my life.so when I do get urges to gamble I try to think it thru and talk to myself about the consequences.

I'm enjoying watching my sport now without a bet.I'm enjoying it better.first time I've watched the grand national and not had a bet since I was in nappies! It was a tradition like in every house practically in the uk!

I'm feeling good about myself at the moment.I'm feeling positive for the first time in a long time I see a future.

I've paid some of my overdraft off but I've spent some money on myself and my daughter and bough some nice stuff for the house.in the past when I've tried to stop I've set really unrealistic goals to try to clear debt.I tried to live on the bare minimum and its no fun.which then led to me gambling again to try and clear the debt quicker to get out of miserable way I was living.so now I'm not getting hung up on the debt.I will clear it slowly but surely.I'm saving everyday I don't gamble.

So I'm into unknown territory now as I've been about 50days or so after Xmas.the difference this time is I'm better prepared and more determined than ever and also Mr bright sides challenge thread is really spurring me on.I won't be defeated now.I want to get to 100 days.50days seemed a lifetime away when I started but its amazing how quickly it goes.I'm 10 months off cigarettes today.was a 30 a day man for 25 years.i tried many time to quit but never succeeded.this time was so determined and I've beat it.I'll never smoke again.I'm going to do this gambling once and for all.this time its for real.

hey new horizons

have just read your diary- your journey is such an inspiration. I am on day one today and in a mess, so thanks for helping me find the courage to say 'no' to gambling.

keep going

Stu

Thanks stu.glad you found this forum.I've posted in your diary.well day 51 today.sun is shining outside.work isn't so bad when the sun is out! Just back from the dentist.teeth needed a really good clean and polish.25 years of smoking not good.but 10months off them so a good clean has helped.

Was just thinking how you really neglect yourself when your gambling.the depression it brings on me and the low self esteem I believe are all related to my gambling.no money for new clothes etc.banger of a car.watching every penny in thevsupermarket.no nights out or treating yourself.then the isolation of it all.losing touch with friends cos all you wanna do is sit in watchin a ball go round a wheel.

When I gamble I can't stop.all night maybe sleep for an hour then back at it again.walking down the street spinning the wheel on my phone.its madness.no house work done etc.couldn't even stop to cook food.could be a nuclear war and I would still be spinning.its crazy.it really does take over your thoughts and life in general.

The urges are dying down now but this forum is helping me stay focussed and helping learn how to deal with them when they come.

I'm taking more of an interest in life again and feeling more positive.I can see good times ahead.51 days done.still winning the fight!

53 days and no gambling! Work tomorrow then off for a week.will be glad of the break.going to do some nice things with my daughter next week.will be nice to spend some time together.at least im going to have some money to do stuff.last summer i gambled and had no money to do anything on my two weeks off.i felt so bad cos it was a waste of my two weeks off.so it will be so good to spend some quality time this week and get out and about.

Gamble

Lose

Stress

No sleep

Guilt

Depression

Hate this life

I dont need the above in my life anymore.im rebuilding my life and winning the fight.good times ahead!

yeah well done NewH

Gambling gives us all those negative things you listed and probably many more as well. Hope that you have some great time off with your daughter. Sounds like you are in a really positive and strong frame of mind. Well done.

take care, stay strong

Stu

Thanks stu. Day 55 today and having a good day.just chilling watchin tv and chilling out this evening.finding something decent to watch on saturday night is a big challenge!

Day56 today.a full 8 weeks without a penny spent on gambling.im feelin more determined than ever to beat this.Im loving the peace i have in my mind at the moment.this far outweighs the short term buzz my mind gets from gambling if that makes sense.im focusing on that to keep me on track.

Steven gerrard said last sunday in his post match huddle. "this does not slip now.This is gone.we go to norwich.we go again"

Well apart from the going to norwich bit lol.i,l keep this in my thoughts as i look forward to another gamble free week!

Day 58 today.i wish i could sleep longer when im off work! Caught up with loads round the house yesterday.i will take my daughter to the park this morning as its going to rain later.not much thoughts of gambling which is good.the longer i abstain the less these thoughts come into my mind.im feeling so much better inside.i feel like im normal.Im not walking around with my mind in absolute turmoil due to gambling if that makes sense to anyone.

Hi newhorizon71 - So glad you are feeling good. The peace of mind that comes from not gambling is the biggest prize of all and personally, a prize I am determined not to lose.

Best wishes.

Joanna

Ooh - sorry, forgot to say congratulations on your Day 58!

Thank you joanna! Yes im determined not to lose it either.

Day 59.nice day out with my daughter.bought her some new clothes for the summer(hopefully we get one). Got a big t-bone steak for my dinner and a few beers to watch the match tonight.enjoyin my week off work with no stress of gambling.trying to keep busy as boredom can be a trigger.but i recognise this and no how to deal with it.

Ive spent so long just living on the bare minimum to fund my gambling.Buying nice things really shows you what a waste of money gambling is.i work too dam hard to waste my money.

Im winning the fight.all the money in the world couldnt buy the peace i have in my mind right now.its a great feeling and will get even better.

Everyday i dont gamble i win a little bit of the person i used to be back before gambling sucked the life out of me!

60 days gamble free.keep the positive thoughts in the head is the key to survival.boredom is the danger for me and many on here i think.got to make sure i keep busy.this week is my biggest test yet.i have money and im off work.learning from past errors though so im coping well!

Hi newhorizon71 - 60 days is amazing - well done. For many people boredom is often the catalyst which sends them back to gambling, so it's really important for you to find something to engage mind and/or body. Apart from exercise, how about: learning a language, re-reading favourite books or discovering a new author, making things - models, something for your daughter, cooking? Believe it or not, I had a big, burly, macho uncle who was a career serviceman - he used to spend his spare time knitting, and made the most beautiful and intricate things. But perhaps that's too much of an ask for you!!! Ha, ha. ;o)

Best wishes, and stay strong.

Joanna