Stopping again for good

Well it has been a few hours since i first wrote here and i still feel a little down but i will get through this. I know it will get easier if i take things day by day i never did that before but as they say in G.A just for today i will not gamble

Welcome Roy . Like at a GA meeting your with friends who are on the same journey of recovery . We're all different but share a common goal which is to stop gambling . Wishing you every success .......stephen

Well yesterday was a hard day as i went to play pool and the slots were there and i could actually taste that temptation of playimg them. It was that bad but i didnt gamble which i am happy about. I know it is only 4 days since i last had a gamble but that was the closest i wanted to hae a gamble. I know as the weeks and the months go on it will get easier but there is temptation everywhere like in shops with the lottery and on the TV with betting ads and online to but i know it is up to me to just ignore them. I went to G.A last night and that has helped me as they know what it is like and they can give me advice and encourage me by listening to their stories, Also writing this helping me to as i hope others see this ans i have been reading others and they are inspring me as well. Well i hope today is a better day and for today I will not gamble,

Well i got through the day without gambling so i am happy about that even making an appointment to see if i can find a voluntary job. Since i don't work i need something to do during the week to help me going so i hope something comes up from that.

So til next time i have had a good day and today i will not gamble

Well today was a good day as i went out with the walking group i joined a while ago. We went to belper and went to the river gardens there.

I did like the place and should have taken photos but i didnt charge my phone but next time i will.

You do get people that really annoy you but i didnt let it get to me. The guy was just being a d**k and demanding we did this but i don't think he meant it so i let it pass.

I didnt gambe today so i am happy about that so i hope i have a better day tomorrow so i hope things are turning the corner for me.

Just for today i did not gamble

This Morning i went to a volunteer bureau to put myself down for a few voluntary jobs. I put my name down for a few jobs and one of them is in the British Heart Foundation in INTU in derby I am seeing someone tomorrow there at 1.30pm so i hope something can come of it.

Also i went out for a walk and ended up at this cafe where i sat outside and had a cup of tea and did some people watching.It is very relaxing and since i have stopped gambling i enjoyed it more and felt at peace.

When you do stop gambling and the longer you stop the more the fog starts to lift and you see more of the world that you are trying to keep out. It is like we are starting again from scratch and also to learn all about our emotions and fears and you start to live like a human again and not like an addict, trying to run away from life. I think that is what i need as i have never really wanted to deal with the everyday problems we all have and I can't go back in circles like i have for a few years.

Went to GA tonight and i felt good listening to other people in their stages or recovery does help and i want to be the one in years to come to be gamble free and be the one that others can look up to.

Just for today i will not gamble

Well yesterday i went to the Induction at the British Heart Foundation and i was shown around and after i filled out the job aplication i was offered a job which was nice as it will give me more to do over the week. I work from 9am - 12pm monday 12 - 3 on Tuesday and 12 - 3 Thursday. I can't wait as i feel things are starting to turn the corner for me.

Went shopping in ASDA in Spondon and I walked there which was a little tiring especially if you have a jacket on and the sun is out but i do like going for walks as it helps clear my head and gets me some exercise. Bought a few things and had sonething at McDonalds it was kind of spoilt with a family sitting across from me as the father was drunk and his family were out of control and messy but that is not my concern.

The temptation of gambling is everywhere like on the ads where some bookmakers are paying up to 10 places on some golf major starting next week but that don't interest me as betting on sports was not my thing. Can't go into a beting shop as i bores me to sleep as there is no atphmosphere there. Slots and scratchcards were more my thing, wanted to get a scratchcard but never did as i know if i do get one it will lead to more and also then go back to slots which i don't want to do again.

Well i feel good now and hope it leads to more days like this so bye for now and today i will not gamble

Good skills getting back to GA royt 🙂

I have heard it said many times that it's the times I think I don't need it that I should seek it out the most! You have a good grounding there (it's taken me too long to accept that I'm not master of the universe & to let things out of my control go by without a fight), it's up to you to commit to the program & keep getting to meetings especially when you do start to feel invincible!

Massive congratulations on the job front 🙂 Hopefully you will love it & it will be a huge part of your new life.

Keep turning those corners - ODAAT

Yesterday i just spent the day relaxing watching the cricket and looking at the daries of some of the people. Some of the stories i have seen are inspiring as we are all trying to live day by day without giving into the urge to gamble.

I do feel in my life in the last few years have been going around in a cycle where i have been gamble free for weeks or months as i go to GA but then i get complacent and stop going to GA as i think i won't gamble but i do go back to gambling and i hate myself when it does happen. To me going to GA is like taking my medicine and it helps me until my next meeting. I have to keep going and this is why i am writing this diary as it will help me in the future and also show how i have felt in the past. If i can help inspire other people that will be a bonus too.

Just hoping it does get easier over the next few days, weeks and months but i hope it will so just for today i will not gamble

Hi there royt42, well done so far. You said it yourself that GA is your medicine, stop going and you get sick again. Fair play on taking up the voluntary work and hope all goes well with that. Keep doing the right things and good things will happen.

All the best

Thanks for that and i hope things will get better as time goes by.

Well yesterday i mostly took it easy but i did go to GA in nottingham and it was a good meeting where some of them brought their partners to the meeting as i was an open night. What they said had me wondering as i got the bus back to derby is that when i gamble i can be selfish and not care about others but now i have stopped i need to start thinking about others.

Started the voluntary job this morning and i had to clean a cupboard up and take boards out to be thrown away as well as taking DVDs to be stocked in the shop. I felt tired but i felt good as i finally am doing something worthwhile. I also played pool with a few people and i may have been tired but i played for a few hours. I went to GA tonight and it was a good meeting.

I didnt have any thoughts on gambling and i know i will have days that i will have but i hope these days are few and far between. I know it when i am feeling down that i will feel like a gamble but i hope since writing this diary and going to GA and reading others stories that it will help me.

Been gamble free for 10 days and just for today i will not gamble

So this morning i spent washing my clothes and put them on the line to dry as it was a sunny morning took them in a few hours ago to bring them into my room,

Went to my Vol Job and spent the time steaming a load of clothes, It has been a good day and and peaceful evening.

This morning i went to Burton with the walking group i am with well it's mostly a walking group that we go to an area and most get the bus back. I wasn't really happy with going to Burton as we went a few weeks ago. So when we got back to Derby I went to the Silk Mill to take a few pics of the poppies exhibit and went for a walk around derby.

I did have a thought about a scratchcard but it wasn't me that got it someone gave it to me thinking they hadn't won but they won a bit of money and gave them back the card. I know i have found one or two scratchcards on the street which had won and i cashed them in but this time even thou it was a thought if it actually happened i would have taken it a while back but now it didn't interest me. That disappeared quickly as it was a stupid thought and maybe a brief tempatation of getting one but it was just that a silly thought. Will be more careful in the future

So just for today i will not gamble

Hi Roy,

Sounds like you have been really productive! And great to hear about handing back the scratchback, a brave and kind act, especially whilst in the earlier stages of your recovery.

Hope you have a lovely day today!

Stay strong.