Surrendered Dec 4th 2014

Well done Mark for deciding to stop.

I stopped 10 days ago and today have told my wife. Came completely clean about gambling. Before and still, she control's all the finances via our joint account. I have my own account which i have maxed an overdraft, gained 2 credit cards (maxed) and 3 payday loans. This isn't the 1st time i have had to come clean about gambling to her over the years and each time i swear that's it, hence she has control of the finances now. I feel better that she knows everything because she can help me stick to stopping. I am waiting for her to come home from work to find out how she is going to react to this gambling as i wrote a log of everything and left it for her to read today. it was the only way as our paths don't cross much lately at home. At least not to break this bombshell.

My only advice would be to tell your wife, you will feel better if its out in the open. Imagine you did quit completely and she found out years down the line? How would that go down?

Anyway good luck and here is looking forward to day 2 and more. 🙂

Thanks for the reply. I think my wife would prefer to find out after I had proved myself. Not sure if she could or should give me another chance. Perhaps that's me being a coward and perhaps as the days (hopefully) build up I might feel ready. Anyway I wanted to wish you good luck with your wife and I hope it goes as well as it can tonight. One day at a time...

Hi Mark

I know where your coming from regarding your wife. I have to prove myself to myself first. Well done for deciding to quit and welcome to the most difficult but rewarding journey.

Good luck

Craig

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Hi Mark,

I am delighted to see you using the "Steve Raynor" style of Recovery !!!

I will never forget the interviews at the Apprentice. Everyone thought he was a gonner.

But Bill Cullen had come up the hard way himself and knew that all these skills can be turned around to make an extraordinary employee.

You can now see this in yourself.

You applied what I said to your own situation and enhanced it and tailor made it to yourself.

I really think you are onto something.

If you are in Sales, it will make you an excellent Salesperson !!

We never take "no" for an answer. We keep on pushing.

We can all get our hands on the money to gamble. We beg, borrow or steal. We are far more persistent than the average Joe !!!

I will follow your diary and let me know how you are getting on.

Steve Raynor is English so it wasn't his Irish charm that got him his success. He has a great job now and a great life.

Leave the past in the past.

You are on the way to a great future!

Suzy

Hi Mark

There are a lot of things that I have done in my past. Yet I have no regrets. It was horrendous at the time, but it's made me who I am today. I know what Ive been through and I dont want to go back there again. The anguish and pain inflicted to those around me has haunted me for a long time. But the sword is double edged, I now strive to never put myself or loved ones through that again. I have done stupid things, but I refuse to hate myself for who I used to be anymore. That person no longer exists, the past is done and dusted. Ive come a long way, as you have. Stop beating yourself up about poor decisions, at the time you thought they were right and you've learned so much from them. You're a much better person today. You took constructive control of your life. Well done. Day 4 will bring good things.

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Hi Mark,

I have read many, many diaries but I have never found a Day 2 posting like yours. You have learned so much from your relapse. In many ways you are not starting at Day 1 at all. Nothing can take away what you have learned on the way.

I have read your Day 2 several times. It gives me a tingle down my spine. You have it all there in that post... The road to Recovery.

In time you will be able to say how you changed those negatives into positives. How you now spend that new half day & what you are doing. They will come slowly. As each one works in your favour, you will try something else and it will escalate.

Be kind to yourself each day. Reward yourself. This is not airy fairy stuff. This is part of the Recovery. It doesn't have to be much. It just has to be a treat.

If I could give you advice... Read Day 2 everyday. But not the full story. A couple of lines a day and really think about them.

Your Day 2 is someone else's day 1 to day 365.

You won't feel as good on some days. This too is normal.

Keep writing... You are doing great.

I believe this positive stuff is the way forward. I tried many times and this is working so well for me.

Take care,

Suzy

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