Day 63....9 weeks done and dusted! Wowsers!
Was the works xmas do last night, I didn't go because I can't do scholl nights anymore and plus I am coming down with yet another cold! I have to say its nice to sit here hangover free and see all the casualties turning up for work lol.
No thoughts STILL. Think this may be my longest run of no urges and amazingly it comes at the time of year when things get a bit tight and the thought of winning a bit more money would be more prominent. I'm not complaining!
Only one more day of work after today. I find my recovery a lot easier when I am not in work, that may sound strange but actually when I'm bored in work my mind wanders back to the debt etc. When I'm at home I can just chill out, do a bit of cleaning and be with my family and the debt issues hardly ever cross my mind. Am looking forward to 8 whole days of being at home and not worrying 🙂
So glad I found this site. I really don't think I would have gotten this far without this diary. I know some people don't find counting days an advantage but that is the things that keeps me going. The thought of going from day 63 to day 1 would totally destroy me and as the days mount up it becomes harder to want to ruin all that hard work!
I have identified over the last couple of months that alcohol is now my main concern. i seem to have knocked the online gambling on the head completely, I don't even remember the last time I turned on the laptop. My biggest fear is going out and getting drunk and ending up at the casino. Luckily for me there are no crazy nights out planned for a few months.
Anyway, over and out for the weekend. Next update will be day 66 on Monday 🙂 xx
Just think how you feel now compared to how you felt 63 days ago.
Nice feeling, eh?
Now think about how you will feel in 63 days time WHEN you continue not to gamble...
Even nicer, eh?
GT
Definitely much better than 63 days ago 🙂 feels like a lifetime ago already.
Day 66...no thoughts or urges all weekend. Like I said before being at home seems to be a lot easier for me at the minute. Finishing work tomorrow lunch until the 28th so there will be another week in the bag hopefully!
Can you believe I am ill again! This is the 4th Monday in a row I've either come into work sick or had to phone in sick! I don't know what is wrong with me I seem to be catching everything that is going round at the minute 🙁 I hope I don't have something on Xmas day!!!
Have a wonderful non gambling day everyone 🙂
Shorty xx
Am in such a dilemma at the minue but luckily its a nice one to be in...however I am finding as annoying as they constant burden of debts on my brain!
I have been working out the finances for the rest of this month and January and thanks to very generous parents at xmas etc I am going to have £1,000 spare at the end of Jan (after bills and spends). What do I do with this? Do I stash it for emergencies or do I pay it off the debt? I have all my credit card debt on interest free cards so am not going to benefit from paying this off early.
Part of me thinks pay it off the debt and then if something does happen and you need some spare cash you won't feel as bad about putting it on the credit card...but then the other half of me thinks it would be nice to have a cushion of funds just in case. Arrrgggghhhhh!! I think I just need to pay it off one of my cards so that the option isn't there anymore as this decision is doing my head in!!
Day 67...this will be my last post for well over a week as I am finishing work today! SO happy!
Have deceided that with the spare cash I'll have at the end of Jan I'm going to make gradual overpayments on my credit cards each month, this way I am actively reducing the debt faster but keeping a bit of backup there just incase something unexpected comes up.
With some of the money i have treated my hubby to some tickets to see one of his favourite comedians next year...I can't wait to see he face on Christmas day he is going to be so made up!! Funny how a hundred quid can bring some much joy and happiness and I would have each thrown five times that away on the spin of a wheel. Absolutely ridiculous and makes me feel sick to the stomach just thinking about it now. How stupid I have been.
Anyway I hope you all have a fabulous Christmas but rememberif you are dreading it, it is only one day. Soon it will all be over and we can start a brand new year 🙂
Lots of Love
Shorty xx
Wow...day 74! Another gamble free week done n dusted. Don't even feel like a gambler anymore not one thought or urge has entered my head over the past week. Shame I will have the debt hanging over my head for so long 🙁 but no one said it was going to be easy! Infact the more painful it is the less likely I will be to do it again!!
Hope you've all had a lovely Xmas...heres to 2012 xxx
Perhaps the debt that most of us have having over us are really there for a purpose.
And that is just to strongly remind us that gambling really is a no-no.
GT
Day 76...nearing the 100 day mark now. Can see it in my sights.
Using this site less and less now. Used to spend most of my working day reading other peoples posts but (and I don't mean to sound horrible) reading about other peoples stories doesn't make me feel any better anymore. Infact I find that reading posts makes me think more about gambling. I think that I might just continue to update my diary and only seek inspiration from others when I have bad thoughts or urges. I think that 'going it alone' may prove one way or the other whether this thing is finally out of my system once and for all. I know a lot of people say that this disease will be with you forever but I believe that we can learn from a bad experience and get over it. Just like if you stuck your hand in the fire, once you got burnt you wouldn't do it again. I feel that way about gambling.
Anyway, enough of my babbling...have a wonderful new year everyone...here's to an EXCELLENT and debt busting 2012 xxx
Hi Shorty, great work on getting to 76 days.
on the bad experiece idea, i for one have being burnt more times than i care to recall and until now have not learnt any lesson, i kept going back. i dont think gambling is something we get out of our system, more like something we need to keep on top of and in control off at all times.
you are doing fantastically well, keep strong and keep fighting
Hi Shorty,
I haven't contributed much to your diary of late, but it's always one that I look out for, but I think your doing fantastically well. Back in May, when we both started our diaries, literally within hours of one another, your's was one of the ones I read - the fact that someone in a very similar situation i.e. same debts, same predicament with the OH, was a real help in kick-starting my own recovery.
I'm a bit like you, I don't read as many diaries as I have in the past - perhaps I should, but like yourself, I'm in a good/safe place at the moment. But in the past, when I've been really down, it's the other diaries, and comments from others on my own that have pulled me through, and I may need them again in future. Think what I'm trying to say is at the very least, keep contributing to your own diary during 2012 because I'm sure we'll both have bad days to come, but by reading this diary, you'll see how far you've come and draw strength from that.
Oh, and another thing I think we have in commen, is thinking about that d**n debt !!
Anyway, 2011 is nearly over, a really tough old year, lets hope for clear skies and plain sailing in 2012 !!
All the best
Day 81...Happy new year everyone! This is going to be a spectacular year I can feel it already!
Have made numerous new years resolutions but you all know what number one on my list is!!! I feel extremely confident that wasting money on you know what is all in the past now but I am also very aware that the mind can turn in a matter of seconds and those demons will just turn up and get you when you're least expecting it!!
Looking forward to going on holiday early this year...definitely need some sunshine! And then planning on trying for baby number two later in the year 🙂
Of course as well as all the good stuff there will be a lot of debt busting going on. Going to pay a big chunk off at the end of this month and then another chunk at the end of Feb when I get my bonus. After that it will just be trying to spend as little as possible and make as many overpayments as I can without killing myself. There is no way I will be debt free by the end of 2012 but if I can clear as much as possible off its a bit more spending money at the end of each month.
Anyway...back to work for now xx
Day 87...the festive season finally came to an end for me yesterday - thank goodness! Has been an expensive and tiring month and am not ready for a couple of months of hibernation. Need to get the finances in order. Just applied for another 0% balance tranfer credit card...according to moneysupermarket I have a 9/10 chance of being successful so my credit rating can't be that bad! Hopefully get a 2k balance which will allow me to move the last balance that is paying any interest. Will have at least 15 months then of plain sailing with all my payments coming off the balance and no interest to pay. Feel I can start making some serious holes in the debt now. Have got enough to make a few over payments for the next 3 months.
No thoughts of you know what. Do not want to wreck my recovery now. The only thing that I am aiming for is that debt free day when I will feel like I have won the lottery every payday as it will all be MINE!!
Day 88...not much to report. Very busy at work which is good as it keeps my mind from constantly thinking about the debts. Still waiting to see if I was accepted for this 0% balance transfer card, fingers crossed that the day of paying any interest are over for the next year or so!
Gambling all seems like a bit of a past life at the minute and it has been plain sailing for a good while now. Is this it?! God I wish I knew the answer to that question! It certainly feels like I have nailed it this time but having read so many diaires I am very aware that I could go for 5 years and then suddenly slip up again. I guess only time will tell and the important thing is not to let my guard down.
Very much looking toward the future now. Once the debts are cleared I think we'll probably look to buy a bigger house, get a new car...all the things that would actually be possible now if I hadn't have screwed everything up! But this will be a hard lesson learnt and that feeling in a few years time when £0 a month goes to debt repayments will be AMAZING and it is what is keeping me going!!!
Day 90...not much to report. Very tired, terrible nights sleep last night. Can't wait til the weekend when I can get a bit of a rest.
No thoughts no urges. Gambling is no longer part of my train of thought.
Day 91...enjoying the simple things in life today, listened to some music on the way to work. Never really do this because I normally read a book on the way to work but my eyes were too tired to read. It's amazing how much more attention you pay to the words of a some when you listen to it on your Ipod!
Looking forward to a nice quiet weekend with lots of sleep and NO alcohol!! Started doing a bit of spring cleaning last night, sorted out a few of the kitchen drawers and plan to continue on this path until all the junk is out of the house!! Life is so much easier when you get rid of all the cr@P lying around!!
Definitely had some thoughts of gambling yesterday. Wouldn't go so far as to call them urges but I found out that my hubby wasn't getting paid as much as we thought he was. It wasn't even a massive amount but it was enough for me to think that I could gamble and make up the short fall. These are the sorts of thoughts that I need to learn how to deal with as this is definitely where I fell down on my previous blips. No thoughts today though 🙂
Have a lovely weekend everyone 🙂 xx
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
