Take 2 this times for real

The waiting for the withdrawal to be processed continues. I really think these websites need to change their regulations. Surely forms of ID and proof of address should be submitted BEFORE you are allowed to deposit. That way you know that you have the green light and that withdrawals can be processed OK. I have submitted all the docs they require and am now 24 hrs on still waiting for them to tell me whether they are sufficient! The amount of times I have sent docs off and they have said they are not visible enough....hoenstly it enrages me! I use a works PDF copier that costs a fortune, how can the quality be bad?!

This waiting game is the worst part about this latest blip. Yes I managed to walk away, eventually but knowing that you need that money back in your account ASAP and having to wait so long for it to hit it is so stressful! On the other hand I could have lost it all and never get the money back. God, what a total moron I have been. The only good thing about this blip is that it has once again reinforced the mental and emotional damage this industry does to you.

Hi Shorty

Very fortunate indeed to walk away. Trouble is our demons tell us we can do it again when our logic tells us we will lose. Is there any way you can get a blocker on your computer. Try and speak to someone next time you feel this happening. It sounds to me that you actually wanted to lose all that money! strange I know but maybe a cry for help or something. Speak with Netline and se if you can locate what is going on for you. Take care

Hi smiler....I know what the trigger was. I had spare cash (although I can hardly call it that when I have 40k to pay back) and I thought that I could wager the 'spare' cash and potentially clear my credit card. I wanted to take the chance to try and pay off some debt but it got out of hand and I just ended up chasing losses.

I don't have access to a computer anymore it is not kept in the house. I joined this site from my phone and trust me I shall be self excluding from it as soon as this credit hits my account. It took me an absolute eternity to find a site I had not self excluded from so here's another to add to the list and if I ever get the urge again it will be even more difficult!!

When I get this money into my account I am going to pay off the overdraft and whatever else if left is going off my credit card. Clearly I can't be trusted with money in my bank and having a financial cushion there just gives me the green light to gamble.

Thanks for your comments they are much appreciated 🙂

Thanks.

Why am I saying thanks?

A huge thanks for reminding me what making the wrong choice WILL lead to.

I am due some 'spare cash' soon (although I already have plans on what to do with it) and those bubbling gambling thoughts are happening at the moment.

The way I see this situation is that you made three choices. Two excellent ones and one terrible one.

Choice 1: You chose to gamble. Need I say more?

Choice 2: You collected at the right time. Well done. Now make sure that you keep that money for YOURSELF.

Choice 3: You came back on here and admitted all. This can only help your recovery process massively and it has already helped me.

So...

...thanks again!

GT

And as for those online gambling companies for all their waiting for withdrawals, not accepting clear PDFs and those stupid, stupid non-existent bonuses...

...pure greed and evil!

Surely one day they will be totally exposed and then we can all live a happy and content life without them.

And pigs might fly... unfortunately.

GT

Documents have been approved....think I'm actually in shock that they did it first time. Feeling a little less stressed now. Just gotta get through Wednesday and Thursday now and then the withdrawal will have been processed and on its way back to me....phew.

Hello Shorty,

You had a lucky escape on this occasion. 107 days ago I did what you did and lost £1500.

Have you read back your own diary? I mean, really read it back, esp from around mid-Dec? The signs are all there. I would say it's almost a 'classic'. You talk about coming on here less often, about being bored more, about trying to get card details verified...and so on. Did you actually read that letter back to yourself?

Anyways, in its own backwards way what you did could be extremely positive, if you let it. The question is simply: new life, up to last week (pre gamble), or, old life (twice a week, as you experienced a couple of days ago)?

Keep posting and reading

Hey shorty - just read your last few days posts. Sounds like you had a lucky escape. I was describing to my wife what gambling does to me last night talking. The highs, lows, chemical changes, smiles and tears. Ultimately, for me, the winning was just more ammunition to gamble more. You did the right thing this time. You won 10% of your stake maybe? Imagine betting £1500 on a 1/10 odds horse. We wouldn't do it would we?

However, what's done is done and you've got a bit extra to spend on debts or something nice. Netline can be useful if you get that urge again. The forum could be helpful, too.

I wonder how many of us can resist the gambling itch when it's really strong? Apologies if I sound like I'm preaching. Feel free to read my diary to see the consequences of my recent poor choices. I was a gambler 12 days ago. Today I am not. Hope we can stay strong next time buddy.

Thanks for your posts guys...I will definitely read back over my full diary. I did read the letter back but when I read it it didn't sound like it was me that had written it. Weird. I know there is some really upsetting stuff in there and when I think about those awful times I get overwhelmed with the same feelings that I had back then. I know I will never go back to how my life used to be, but after the weekend can I ever guarantee that I will NEVER gamble again?! It doesn't feel like it at the minute. What happened at the weekend has scared the life clean out of me and that is a good thing, long my it last.

Anyway, STILL waiting for the withdrawal to get processed! 3 days today so tomorrow will be the last 'pending withdrawal' day thank god. Will breathe a big sigh of relief when I get the credit in my account and will be instantly self excluding. I have to say (and I don't want to speak too soon) but I think this will be first time I will have ever successfully gotten through this 4 day pending withdrawal scenario. I have had thousands pending in the past and always managed to lose the lot before the 4 days are up. They're not f*****G daft this casino bosses are they!! Well I am throwing 2 fingers up at them this time - I will not give in!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going to go and have a looooong session at the gym today. Treat myself to a nice warm sauna. Need to try and chill out at bit, been a stressful few days.

Dear Shorty,

Still thinking of you. It will be a year soon since you started this diary. I see that you've had a bit of a roller coaster ride! I am very relieved to see you come unscathed on the last mislaspe!

I think you are very, very, VERY, lucky to come out on top 🙂 I hope that will give you a lesson and experience that is is just not worth it at all. All the stress, the adrenaline, the fast heartbeats, the sweating, the guilt, and all you were doing was chasing the losses that you deposited, and for all that win little less than 10 percent of your original deposit.

Was it really worth Shorty? If you had lost this is how you get back to square one again and the gambling spree recycles continues again... You don't need me to dwell on this as you are intelligent enough.

Gambling sites have reversible withdrawls in the hope you will cancel your request and return to the tables again. These tactics and methods are used by online casino's to lure you back in and they do work. If you have not received your payment do what I do, contact customer service and tell them to block your account. That way you have the troubles to phone them up to unblock your account making you think again before cancelling a withdrawl. It worked for me in the past 🙂

Take care

sunny x

Shorty, I appreciate you dont 'want' to gamble again but seriously what is going to stop you?

You now have another website that you can gamble on and in fact have chosen to gamble on, you know that they will indeed process your withdrawals so exactly what is going to stop you from gambling that £150 'excess' that you have 'won'?

I don't get it, surely you are just going to gamble again?

3 days no posting after a lapse...

Are you still OK?

I think it's great that people look out for each other on this forum. Hope everything is ok here and you've been having a good time.

Hi...been ill guys, sorry for not posting.

Still waiting on funds to hit my account but they have been removed from the pending withdrawals. When the funds hit I shall be self excluding.

Dan Addicted - the answer is, I don't know what is going to make me stop! I know what makes me start....spare funds and the desire to clear the debts quicker than I have been doing.

I look back over the last 10 months since I joined this site and yes I have had a few slips but all in all I have been pretty successful. OK, so I screwed up last week I accept that but at the end of the day I have got back up, dusted myself off and am willing to try again. I could have just deserted this site completely and gone back to my old ways but that is not what I want. Maybe this is the way my recovery will go for a while....falling off the wagon, having a scare etc etc and eventually that will die off and I will just be a normal non gambling human being.

I am not justifying my actions but frankly if I have learned anything from this site it is that this is a long old journey that is going to have ups and downs and looking back over the past 10 months the MAJORITY of it has been UP, and UP is where I intend to stay from now on. I have paid a staggering £8k off my debts in the last 10 months. I have not added to the debt through gambling and that is a vast improvement from the direction I was going in!

Who knows if I will fall off the wagon again. What have I learnt from the last blip?? Well I learned that having spare cash in the bank is a definite no no and it either needs to be spent or used to pay off the debt. I also learned that gambling is stupid and seriously damages your health! I already knew both of these but as you all know, as time goes on we forget the pain and fear.....I have had a horrible reminder of what life as a gambler is like and I hope that stays with me for a very long time. I also learned that having a financial spreadsheet convinces you that you have spare money to gamble with....from now on I live life day to day and none of this 6 month financial planning B*****.

I have also learned that concentrating on the debt makes you miserable. God, the time I spend thinking about how much I can pay off....JESUS it consumes my brain. Who cares how much you can pay off, if you can make minimum payments and keep your house and pay your bills in this day and age you are lucky. I hear people on the news saying how they go without a main meal during the week so they can feed their kids and I sit here worrying ridiculously about making overpayments on my credit card. At least I have food on the table, heating and a roof over my head. Seriously, I really feel like slapping myself sometimes. I am such an ungrateful person. Be thankful for what you CAN do and what you HAVE.

I was sat thinking last night about the phrase 'everything happens for a reason'. A lot of people believe that your life is already mapped out for you and that what happens was meant to happen. On the other hand other people believe that you make your own destiny.

Having thought why people would become gamblers if 'everything happened for a reason' it got me thinking about my own situation. Before I started gambling my partner and I had separeate financial lives. Basically I paid all the bills and he would give me half the mortgage, council tax etc etc. The way he gets paid is rather obscure, not monthly like most people so some weeks he would be able to give me what he owed me and other weeks he wouldn't. This caused no end of arguments. I was constantly thinking 'is this the life I want? Having to support this man and always have him owing me for bills?' Every week we would have an argument about it, and let me tell you an argument every week about money is not good for a relationship. He felt down and depressed because he thought he couldn't support us and although I felt sorry for him I did resent him for not being able to pay the bills when they needed to be paid.

I truly believe had I not got myself into this S**t situation I would never have suggested a joint bank account (i did this because I thought it would stop me gambling, it didn't in the end as I discovered he never checked the statement!). And had we never got a joint bank account the arguments would never have stopped. Money was the only thing we ever fought about. Am not saying everything is perfect but its close now that we have gotten over that period in our lives.

So...the point of the story....if I hadn't have gambled would my relationship had survived? And my honest and true answer is no. What I need to do now is realise that gambling has played an important role in my life. Not just for this reason but it has taught me about myself, about whats important in life and once I come out the other side of this debt mountain I am going to be rich more than just financially. All I need to do now is realise that the role that gambling has played is OVER. I won't ever go back to those arguments again, even when all the debt is gone. What's mine is his and vice versa.

It's nice to be able to reflect upon it all and pull a positive out of it. I could be without my wonderful husband and may never have had my beautiful daughter had I not been through this experience.