Take 2 this times for real

Day 6...made it through the weekend woooooo hooooo and next weekend will be a piece of cake (touch wood) as the hubby is off work. Feeling very positive that this time I can really go the distance.

Can not believe it's the 10th of October already! Where is this month going?? Glad its going quickly I can't wait for xmas...got a whole 8 days off work. Mulled wine and mince pies and cream cuddled up on the sofa....can not wait 🙂 xxx

Day 7...edging closer to those double figures! Feels a lot longer than a week! Still no urges. Thinking about money all the time at the minute really starting to annoy me. Am back to having spreadsheeted the next 6 months financially, I don't know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. Even when I'm not gambling there always seems to be stuff that crops up every month to ruin the budget! But everyday of not gambling is a day closer to being debt free 🙂

Have decided that I'm definitely not going to consolidate early next year...i'm going to try and stick it out and only if things get really tight will I look at doing it.

Have bought a loads of books off e b a y. Normally I only read on the journey to and from work but I'm going to start reading at home at the weekends when I get bored or have no housework to do!! Anything to occupy the mind!

Have a fabulous not betting day everyone 🙂 xxx

Hi Shorty8,

Thanks for swinging by and posting on my diary.You have a great idea me saving towards a holiday.Some sun, sea and sand sounds great about now.

Well done on getting to the 7 days, keep at it.Its well worth it in the end trust me.Stay quit and keep strong.Easier said than done i know but you can do it.If i can anyone can.

Always praise and encourage yourself,It drives you with positive feelings to quit.

The benefits and lifestyle shall be great when your in the clear.No debt, stress or worries about gambling.

Take care and win in the end by keeping your own money.

kind regards

Steven

Day 8....thanks for your post Steven, always nice to log on and see someone has dropped you an encouraging message 🙂

Still going strong....more deternmined than ever. Not saying that I haven't had the odd thought because I have but have made no attempt to act on any urge whatsoever. Normally about this time into abstinence I start wobbling and the inevitable happens - well not this time. I have a good experienced head on my shoulders now and everyday I feel I'm getting stronger to fight this and not weaker. The thoughts of 'oh I've been really good this week a quick 20 quid won't matter' no longer register with me. I am determined to get to double figures...a month...two months...6 months...a year. The only focus I have now is keeping these demons at bay and becoming debt free! I will honestly feel like I have won the lottery!

Friday will be day 10...the double figures that I have been longing for! It strange how the weeks seem to fly by but each non gambling day takes forever! Friday night I am out on the town and I will treat myself to a celebratory cocktail for my 10 day achievement 🙂

Have a wonderful wednesday everyone keep up the excellent work 🙂 xx

Just had some thoughts that have literally made me stop breathing.

All this secrecy from my husband. Is it really the right thing to do? Are we going to last the distance if there is this huge secret between us...or is it just this huge secret at the minute because of the debt? Can I tell him when I've paid it all back and he doesn't have to worry about it like I am now?

I know I just do not have the balls to tell him...even if I wanted to the words would just never come out of my mouth! I do fear that he will find out...I don't think he would leave me especially if he saw this diary and has seen that I have been struggling to quit. What I fear most is that this secret comes between us in the long run. I don't want there to be anything he doesn't know about me but I just can not tell him 🙁

Grrrrrrrrr not having a good day mentally but it is still a gamble free day! xx

Hi S8,

I've enjoyed reading your entries during the last few days, thanks. I'm very much the new boy here (although certainly not new to gambling, unfortunately), but I felt I must comment on your last entry. I'm in a similar spot to you re: the other half, but I'm not going to tell her - or, if I do, it'll be when it's all done and dusted. There's a lot of people who advocate telling and sharing at an early stage, two makes you stronger, someone to practically help with the money etc, and I'm sure that works perfectly for lots of people - maybe the majority. However, I don't think it's a one-size-fits-all template. I'm not telling my OH at the mo because she's pregnant and she tends to take things about money extremely badly anyway ("£300 for a pram...what shall we do?"). I'm not sure she would get over it (if she didn't leave me), and I don't want to upset her while she's carrying. However, another part of me says I shouldn't inflict unneccessary hurt on her - why SHOULD she have to bear my stupidity? if I can get through this - and I think I can,although it really won't be easy financially - I should spare her it. Something along the lines of: 'Your **** - don't burden someone else'.

I know they'll be a deluge of opposing opinions, esp from those who've successfully told their OH, but I really think every case is unique.

Rgds

I'm posting a lot today aren't I lol!

Just been reading a diary on here...someone who has been to GA, done the 12 steps etc etc etc...one thing they kept writing was....'we are only one step away from our next bet'. I think that is a horrificly demoralising way to look at this recovery journey. Jeezus...so if I manage to quit for a year, I'm still only one step away from my next gambling spree?! What is the bl00dy point then! They seem to think that counting the days is a bad idea because of this...how can we measure our success if we can't recognise how far we have come from our previous life of destruction?!

Over and Out xx

Anyway...just wanted to get that off my chest. Don't disagree with everything that this person was writing but that really made me mad!!

G'day shorty,I've just read your diary,you've had quite a rollercoaster! but at least u keep picking yourself back up,good on ya. I attended ga for about a year about ten years ago,I heard that saying very often 'were only one step away from our next bet' it was often said from people who'd abstained for a long time,I suppose they are saying were all equal,the bloke who has given up for 5 years to the woman who has given up for a day,were only 1 step away. Keep posting,I've every faith you will succeed. All the best Rob.

I have a horrible feeling that I may have posted a response to RobWillwin instead of Charmed Life?!?! Apologies...that'll teach me for not paying attention!!

Day 9 - Going stong. Busy at work today so you won't have to listen to me rambling on like I was yesterday, I'm sure you'll all be very pleased to hear!

Home life very stressful at the minute, money tight, baby not sleeping very well, housework that needs to be done....I guess its the same in any household though so who am I to moan and complain!!!

Looking forward to reaching double figures tomorrow and going out for a nice meal and copious amounts of alcohol tomorrow night 🙂

Have a terrific Thursday my fellow CG's

Shorty xxx

Sorry shorty,I changed my name to charmed life,didnt want my name in my title,sorry for the confusion! You ramble all u like. I'm looking forward to the sleepless nites,not! Double figures 2mo,keep goin strong shorty.x

Lol...that was definitely a confused.com moment! Glad I haven't randomly posted something on someone elses diary though!!

DAY 10 PEOPLE wooo hooo!! double figures. My first mini milestone! Am absolutely shattered...no sleep again thanks to my little girl! could do with not going out tonight but I'm sure I'll be fine after some food and a few G&T's! I definitely need a break from the old routine!

No thoughts, no urges. Like I said in a previous post, when I'm poorly (or completely exhausted) the thoughts of gambling or debts are just not there! I think that's proof that your health is more important than anything!

My bl00dy car is b*ggered again. Takes about 20 minutes to get it started. think it needs a new battery...more expense that I could do without! Can't wait for the day when I have enough money to get a nice new car on finance 🙂 long way to go yet though!!

So the next milestone I set for myself is to reach 30 days!

Have a fabulous Friday everyone 🙂 xxx

Hey Shorty you sound like you are doing real good, keep up the possitivity, been reading what they say at GA, I believe that they say the same at AA that you are just one step away from another drink (I hasten to add that I haven't bee there) at least not yet!

Hope you have a good night tonight and lots of G and T's, cant beat it.

Back to day bloody 2. Can't believe it. Went out Friday night and ended up in casino. Not a major loss can juggle stuff about to get through the month but what I'm most P!ssed off about is because it wasn't me that wanted to go to the casino in the first place!!! In the past I was always the one that wanted to go!! I know it's completely my fault and alcohol had a lot to do with it. Feel so down now...was so happy on Friday when I reached 10 days n I've f*cked it all up again. I'm just glad that the normal chasing urge is not there and online gambling is the furthest thought from my mind. Really didn't want to post this was gonna give up on the diary completely. But I know it helps me.

Nooooooooo Shorty don't give up, we all have slips from time to time, with an addiction we would not be human if we didn't, put it down to the G and T's we all think we are wonderwoman after a few of those and are invincable. Just get up, shake yourself down and start all over again, as the song says, keep posting, it will keep you going, and hey its only a little setback, just think on it as a little slip.

Thanks juliette really appreciate ur post even though I don't deserve it. If I can take the positives from Friday then they would be the fact that my hubby has said we need to have a quiet 2 months leading up to Xmas so that means the money we save from not going out can at go to the debts.

Normally if we'd gone out n lost a bit of mOney I would be logging on to the casino the next day to try n recover the losses which hasn't happened so I am happy about that. Just gutted I'm right back at the beginning again grrrrrrrrr 🙁 xxx