great to see you had a positive weekend, apart from the nightmares. with time they will pass, just like the DT's.
Like you i noticed a little cash in my account this morning, this is a very strange feeling so far from payday, its a small amount but it means a lot to me today. i will be putting it towards xmas presents fund for my little guys.
Keep strong, i am so looking forward to starting 2012 gamble free.
Day 25...not much to report. No nightmares last night but still seem to be having very real dreams! I'm pretty sure I woke myself up talking out loud in the middle of the night last night!
Work is so boring but I suppose its a means to an end! I think when I am debt free I will be able to rethink the career I have chosen and maybe do something that I would enjoy more even if it does pay less money. But that is at least a few years off yet!!!!
Have a terrific tuesday everyone 🙂 xxx
Hi Shorty,
I feel the same as you regarding work. Good wage, boring job. But I'm right in the middle of my comfort zone which is really where I need to be in during the next few years.
Maybe's 2 years from now, re-consider the options.
Anyway, so far Shorty you're doing great and you should be proud of yourself for reaching quarter of a century !
Day 26...have noticed that the only thoughts I ever get is when I get into bed and am trying to get to sleep. Probabaly has something to do with why I am having all these dreams. Anyway, sleep is now FAR more important than the dreaded G word so even if I am lying in bed thinking about gambling I would definitely not do it!
Is it good that I now longer feel like a CG? Certainly starting to feel like it was an awful past life that I have left behind but I also know that 26 days is only a minor minor minor start to this recovery journey (even thought the journey actually started at the end of May!).
Roll on Day 27....xx
Day 27...woke up and thought it was Saturday, gutted! Oh well, only one more get up until the weekend 🙂 another quiet one planned and then the weekend after out on the Friday night for dinner and drinks! I remember countless times organising to do something and then having to cancel it at the last minute due to lack of funds from you know what. Funny how I wasted hundreds on the spin of a wheel but I refused to pay 40 quid out for a meal and a glass of win!! Crazy times that are in the PAST and will stay there! December is going to be a bit crazy so making the most of this quiet month!
Definitely still having thoughts at bed time. Definitely miss it when I think about it at these times. Still consider that it is possible to gamble wisely and win but I am not as stupid as I used to be and have all the experience I need to know that I will not win in the long run.
Focusing on the debt again which is annoying. Waiting for my interest free cc to come through the post so that I can transfer my balance over. Maybe once this is done I will stop thinking about the huge debt mountain that faces me for the next 4 years!!!! Still daydream about the day when it's all paid off and I can book little surprise trips away at a moments notice 🙂 I will appreciate it SO much when it's finally here! And I will NEVER take another loan out as long as I live!
Anyway, another day marked off. Still confident that I can beat it this time but it's still early days....
xx
Yo Shorty
That all sounds so familiar. I think of all the times ive felt it was too expensive to take the gf out for dinner yet i was happy to pump 50 into a fruit machine or a poker account.
Surprise trips are another thing i havent been able to treat her too because ive wasted all my money.
Im having my first night out in months tomorrow night and im going to enjoy it.
Im loving that your 27 days gamble free, ive got some catching up to do but your doing amazingly and itll be so nice to enjoy that spare cash to do the little things in life us gamblers cant afford....
🙂
Day 28...bloody knackered today don't even feel like celebrating my 4 week mark just want to crawl back into bed and sleep for a week!!
Not much to report so won't just type for the sake of it. Still having thoughts but they are getting further and further away from being urges. Have not got the energy to gamble even if I wanted to (which I don't!).
Have a good weekend everyone 🙂 xxx
Hi Shorty,
Just want to say you are doing fantastic, 4 weeks is a brilliant achievement, you should be so proud of yourself.
hope you have a great weekend.
Day 29...havin a very productive day done loads of jobs that I've been meanin to do for weeks! Totally knackered now! Couple Of drinks later n then an early night!! Not one thought of gambling has entered my head today. Things are definitely getting easier if I manage to make it through the weekends this easily!!xx
Well done on being gamble free for nearly a whole month. Just think where you were 30 days ago and where you are now.
And just think how you will be feeling when Christmas comes when you are still gamble-free.
GT
Day 31...busy at work this week. Think it may be like this until Christmas now which is fine by me. keeps my mind occupied!!!
No thoughts, no urges. Had a bit of a heavy weekend even though it was just drinking at home! Had a very early night last night but still feeling tired today. I really hate getting up for work in the morning - not a good sign but I suppose the majority of the working world feels the same way!!
Not much to report. Still looking forward to Xmas but also looking forward to it being over so the finances can be sorted out! Still getting depressed now and again about the mountain of debt I need to pay back 🙁 no one to blame but myself, just got to suck it up and get on with it!!!
xxx
Hey Shory you are doing really well, know what you mean that we only have ourselves to blame for our debt, noone held a gun to our heads and made us do it, we all in the same boat there. You keep strong you are doing great, Hug
Thanks Juliette 🙂
Day 32...sooooooooooooo tired. Man, I could sleep standing up! Don't understand why cos I had a decents nights kip but my eyeballs are literally stinging! At least all I am thinking about is my bed, not a gambling thought in site.
Really looking forward to getting the next few weeks out of the way, got quite a few holidays booked in december and just need some R&R time at home. Feel totally burnt out at the minute 🙁 i guess working a full time job, having a baby to look after, worrying about debts and trying to stay 'clean' start to get on top of you after a while!!
xx
Day 33...all I can say is zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz boy do I need to catch up on some sleep. Baby up from 2am til 4am last night 🙁 total zombie today...on the plus side I am on day 33 🙂 very very determined to get to 50 days now and I can see it is in sight!!!
Only 2 more full weeks of work then a nice 3 day week...then only another full week of work and off for 8 days for Xmas 🙂 that is the only thing keeping me going at the minute the thought of all that time off!!!
Gambling feels like a million miles away at the minute and long may it stay there! xx
What a lovely feeling you seem to be experiencing at the moment.
And long may this continue!
GT
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