The Devil on my shoulders

50 not out . 🙂 feel okay . So much calmer am very aware of any slips thou . I still think about gambling everyday in some form or other but I have a good resolve at the moment . I think one of the best things is just having other stuff to do ! Be it work, children, cooking, running whatever . Just do something else . Devil makes work for idle hands and all that .stay strong everyone

Congrats on 50 not out that is such an achievement so feel proud of yourself. Pleased you are busy and not left sitting around with your thoughts. Keep strong.

Wilsy

Cheltenham round the corner. Very difficult time for sports gamblers. This is the second one I won’t be having a bet on (I didn’t do it last year either) feel more confident about it this year as I have literally paid no interest in the horses but I know the temptations given adverts are everywhere. Plus I know my gambling brain will tell me I’m missing out on something . Tough time so my thoughts are with everyone who is going to struggle through it . Even a lot of non gamblers come out the woodwork this time of year - especially those asking for a tip !!! I think the best thing is to remember that for the majority of people Cheltenham is still irrelevant and to avoid the whole bloody thing as much as possible!

These festivals have derailed me in the past so I have to be careful even in my confident mood.
The question for me is how much I avoid talking about it with others and also do I totally avoid watching any of it.

Agreed ‘itsbeenalongtime’ I think avoiding them completely unfortunately is the best way - I don’t trust myself enough to not be tempted . Not strong enough yet to avoid that - plus a whole heap of stress I don’t need right now . Gotta avoid as much as possible - keep busy with other stuff

Just marking the fact that it’s day 2 all over again ! May talk about it in due course but can’t bring myself to do so at the mo

Hi I’ve been reading your diary and it’s honest humble and so very familiar. Sorry to hear about your relapse I’ve just had one myself but I feel that once the anger self pity and downright frustration die down it’s important to work out why it happened,how it happened. I went out for a few drinks with my mates and took way more cash than I’d ever need plus my bank card and as I’d placed a few bets before I thought I was in control but guess what...no chance and it bit me on the b*m. Like I’ve said elsewhere I don’t think it matters if we win or lose we’re chasing the high we get when we’re betting,when the endorphins are released.You have had great spells gf time you can do this! You work to hard to give these parasites your money so chin up and let’s get on with it,what’s done is done.Put the blocks in place and let’s do this

Thanks ‘new beginning’ really means a lot to me that you would take the time to read an comment and you are of course very true in what you say . Thank you for the support . Personally I just don’t want to talk about it at the mo I’m struggling with the whole thing but I do feel I can see a little light at the end of the tunnel . Speak soon and thanks again

No probs take as long as you need but remember where we are when your ready to talk.All the best

So I haven’t gambled for 21 days and I genuinely haven’t wanted to . Something has changed. It feels different . My eyes are open . How did this come about ? - I met someone - now it doesn’t end well we split but it’s not the point . I started a new relationship and it made me realise how far I had fallen . Suddenly I wanted to go to nice restaurant again have nice clothes! Impress her go on days out - and i was floundering because guess what gambling leaves you skint ! . I realised through being with this girl only a couple of weeks how much I used to hate myself- it’s a vicious spiral. This girl made me want to be a better person again . She will never know it because she would have dropped me quite rightly if she knew anything about my previous life . The point I’m trying to make is that although the break up was hard it’s taught me to love me again, to want to be a better person again - there are massive links between loneliness, depression and gambling for a reason . Actually liking yourself has nothing to do with gambling and I promise you if you can learn to like yourself again and strive to be better in everything you do you won’t want to gamble . Hope that doesn’t sound to hippie but you get my point . I hope I can maintain this positivity I know there will be bumps but honestly feel better about who I am again. All the best everyone

Month down . Feel the same way something has switched . I want a better life and I still do, not going back

There is a better calmer life outside of gambling - try to picture a hero a friend or maybe just a better version of yourself and reach for that - if you can keep that in mind it might help .

40 days Gamble Free ! Come on ! 🙂

58 days gamble free . Still maintain the positivity of my post in late July . I just want to be a good version of me and I know that gambling me is not a good version . I will not achieve a better life by trying to gamble for it - small wins maybe but ultimately I will lose . Mentally winning by not gambling . All the best

You're doing really great mate. Our stories are all too similar. Keep going. I will take your advice and strive to be the best person I can be in the hope I can generate enough self-esteem to be able to tell myself NO when the time comes. I've simply run out of chances this time. I'm happy you're have a new found optimism this time - I hope this remains with you throughout, don't let it go - I reckon if you hold onto that you'll never look back. Good luck.