Well where do I start I will try and make this short story as there is a lot of detail but basically I have lost £140,000 in the last three-and-a-half years this is from a previous house sale 3 year ago and the wife believes we have saved a further 70000 since so £210000 in total but to be honest I have £900 in the bank and £10,000 of debt on a credit card with no more credit available. I've been trying to put off buying a house for a while but the wife cant understand why we're still renting and we have all this money so today we have viewed a house which I truly love but I tried to make out I didn't like it which I have done for the last few weeks with every house I've seen. but the wife has put an offer in and it has been accepted I can't afford the rent nevermind a house outright in cash I know I'm going to lose everything now I have five lovely kids two of them stepchildren who think the world of me for taking on the role as dad as their biological father was not interested. My wife and kids do not deserve a loser Like Me I wish I could give her all the money but it's all gone I have nothing left! I have just called the estate agent up now to withdraw I offer my wife does not know yet I'm going home now to tell her and then I don't know where I'm going to live for what I'm going to do all I know is I have to help them the best I can. Can't believe I've wasted the opportunity for us to have our home with no mortgage we could have been so well off and I've messed everything up. Anyway I better go I have to tell my wife I have lost a quarter of a million pounds in 3 years good luck to everyone else
Let us know how it goes bro.
If you need to chat, let us know. Your story resonates with me. I won;t go into detail now, but well done for being here. talk when you're ready.
Thank you it means a lot everyone in tears now my wife hates me and so does my kids! I have thrown away everything we have ever worked for! My future is in tatters I have nothing left now!! Can't believe what I have done I'm such a horrible person.
Dean you have done the right thing and told your family. No more lies. Now you must take it one step and one day at a time.
Your not a horrible person..you just got caught up in something you had a lack of control over.
Hi Dean,
This has been a difficult step for you to take and it sounds like your family is in shock about what they just learned. Give everyone some time to digest this.
You have been very courageous for telling people about your problem and for admitting to needing to make some changes.
Keep going. You may want to contact the Netline https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/ or Helpline 0808 80 20 133 to talk to an adviser directly. We can discuss practical steps you can take and other support available to you, like face to face counselling. Mainly, there is someone who can listen to you when you feel low as you seem to do at the moment.
Kind wishes
Gabriele
Give them a call Dean,
You've just done a very brave....and very sane thing.
This illness takes you to strange places, but tonight, despite all the upset, you've taken back control. Give the experts a call.
It's not that your a horrible person, your just a compulsive gambler. Get to your nearest GA meeting and stop living a lie so you can start rebuilding your life.
How are things today Dean?
Hi thank you for the messages! Ended up sleeping in the car last night and I'm totally knackered today only have £3 on me! Tried texting my wife but all I got was why in return! I have wrote My wife a Long letter explaining everything the best way I can cos I don't know why I did it myself my daughter's meeting up with me in a bit so I'm hoping she can pass it on to her if my daughter will talk to me which I'm hoping she will. But I will understand if she doesn't have caused so much upset. I am going to see the doctor tomorrow and see if they can help in any way also I have called gamcare up today with where I can go for a meeting! Can't stop thinking of what I've done I wish I could go back in time I don't know how I'm ever going to move on knowing what I've done it's destroyed my life. Anyone reading this who is still gambling please just stop it is not worth it. It has destroyed my life my family and my future don't let it destroy yours. I was so lucky man I had everything and Threw It All Away. I can't eat I feel so sick!
Hi all sorry not been on for a couple days things have got so much better I have seen my kids today which has been wonderful and also my wife and she is letting me sleep on the sofa tonight not saying everything is fixed but it is a start. I did go to the doctor for help only really got offered antidepressants and I don't really want to go down that route at the moment. I have deleted all banking apps and credit card apps on my phone and my bank cards have been cut up. My wife is taking total control over finances and any money I want I have to ask her I have no access whatsoever which is a good start. I really do want to stop I can't believe what gambling has done to me I'm trying to look forward now and not back I can't change the past but I know I can change the future and I want to do my best for the kids and I really hope I have a future with my wife I had a lovely day today with the kids and can't believe I wasted all that time gambling when I could have spent it with them.
Hi Dean,
Was really pleased to read about you having no or limited access to finance. This is something that Mrs Bal was adamant about and in fact i abstained for a period of 9+ months before my cards were returned to me. This was Mrs Bals choice and not mine.
On the odd days i was given cash i provided receipts to the penny. Went shopping one day and initially could not account for £2 which set my heart racing. Fortunately i found it in the bottom of one of the bags.
It was funny in a way when mrs bal had to run to pay for petrol in the pouring rain!!!!!
Joking aside you get used to making your own lunch instead of paying for it and window shopping. How often do we buy things for the sake of it.
Well done on this and please try to keep it going as long as possible.
Best
I'm really finding it hard at the moment I keep thinking about what I've had and what I could have had obviously I know I have lost the best part of £200,000 Plus and I keep thinking about what I could have bought with this money and it's driving me mad. I need a way of looking forward I know I'll never get that money back how do I stop thinking about it all the time I feel so guilty I know I should feel guilty but it's driving me mad.
Dean,
I and most on here have been or going through your situation.
We are all different and our relationships are different but us who have gambled have the same feelings of guilt, self loathing etc etc.
I hope you all work through it and come out the other side together.
Stick with it, stay honest with your wife and that way start re-building.
Don't look back its pointless, I looked how did I get the money in the first place ( I blew all our savings before borrowing more to get into debt)
I worked for it!!!! Didn't win it, wasn't given it!! It was my hard graft that got me it and its my hard graft that helping me to recover
I'm really finding it hard at the moment I keep thinking about what I've had and what I could have had obviously I know I have lost the best part of £200,000 Plus and I keep thinking about what I could have bought with this money and it's driving me mad. I need a way of looking forward I know I'll never get that money back how do I stop thinking about it all the time I feel so guilty I know I should feel guilty but it's driving me mad.
i am in the exact same boat mate, 5 days GF and after (stupidly) doing some calculations our figures are comparable.
I cannot stop thinking about it either, but its gone, there is no getting that cash back other than working hard, and not spending for the sake of it. If you think how much money you made available for gambling, and save even 75% of that each month you'll be on the right tracks.
I feel a right fall been gambling since 2008. But it wasn't until 2015 it got really serious I am now paying the price now though my relationship is on its knees I'm skint my business is on its knees I'm literally starting all over again and I know the Only Way Is Hard graft and to stay away from them dumps bookmakers and online. Was looking at photos of myself from 5 years ago I have age so much I'm always stressed out always thinking about money and I lied to everyone I hate what it's done to me. I'm going to make today the first day of the rest of my life and try my best not to look back not to lie and enjoy what I have I live in a lovely part of Britain near the seaside and have lovely kids and wife there's no reason for gambling in my life.
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