The healthy thing to do is to be emotionally detached from all feelings and emotions towards our addictions and obsessions.

Hi

I am a non religious person if I can do it any one can.

I walked in to the recovery program having given up all faith and hope in myself.

The recovery program would help me understand my emotional triggers and that going to an addiction or obsession was a form of escape in my fears.

I feelings that my addiction was fun and exciting was an adrenaline rush based up on my fears.

That no amount of money would heal the pains of my past.

My addiction was a form of self abuse, going with out my needs and my wants.

At what time would my boredom towards life people ans situations be replaced with healthy interactions with other people.

At what time would admit to myself I had fears of emotional intimacy.

I walked in to the recovery program feeling guilty ashamed worthless and useless.

Today in being more healthy I feel pride in myself and my family.

It is often hard to remember the last time I was angry.

All the time I thought I could be successful by getting some thing for nothing was putting me in a self destructive nose dive.

Pride is the reward we give our self for saying healthy things and doing healthy things with our life.

I walked in to the recovery program going  in to panic mode on a regular basis because of the huge amounts of fears I was living in.

A healthy sponsor would help me help myself become more motivated.

The gambling establishments did not make me do any thing I did not want to do.

The gambling establishments did not steal from my family I did.

The gambling establishments did not hurt me I hurt myself.

The gambling establishments would never make me feel good about myself.

The gambling establishments is where I went to escape people life and situation I could not emotionally cope with.

Only when I got honest with myself could I get honest with other people.

I thought that by getting my money back would heal and resolve all the pains I caused myself and other people that was not true.

With each of my lies came further fears.

I use to think that honesty was the best policy was joke.

Yet by being honest I am able to be myself.

I feared emotional intimacy, I feared failing and trying new things.

The healthy people in the recovery program helped me understand that I was a rat in a wheel going faster and faster and was in self destructive mode.

Only I can decide that Gambling is not healthy for me.

Only I can set a boundary each day.

Only I can get my a*s in to gear and motivated.

Only once I abstained from all unhealthy habits indicated I was ready for the healing process to start.

There were easy fixes, each day was based up on baby steps exchanging unhealthy habits in to healthy habits. 

I am not the lost angry person I use to be, I am not the insecure inadequate person I use to be.

Just for I will not gamble was a boundary to say that I no longer want to hurt myself today, I am starting to value myself.

I walked in to the recovery program not trusting myself or other people.

I could not trust myself with money.

Each day I put time and effort in to my recovery I am becoming the person I like today.

Is being a healthy person worth while.

Yes I have been in recovery since 1969 and all the time I put time and effort in to my recovery I and my family are the beneficiaries.

To move from unhealthy dysfunctional to interactive healthy relationships.

Each of my unhealthy habits exchanged to healthy habits means me and my family fears have reduced.

The most precious things in my life today is time and relationships.

I have moved from hating myself to caring loving and being proud of myself.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham