The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists

42 Days Gamble Free today. That is 6 weeks to you and me.

So much has already changed for the better. I am functioning better at work and at home as a father and husband. I feel so much less depressed and am starting to be able to consider the future.

Bizarrely and by a sudden surprise it turns out that on 1st May I will start a formal appenticeship. I have worked as a part-qualified conveyancer for some 16 years however I never completed the final two conveyancing exams (because I got sidetracked - I wonder how?!). I think this has added to my low self-esteem and depression as in my mind I was stagnating and my life was never going anyehere - until now!

The normal cost of a conveyancing course is around £8,000.00 and I was considering how I could possibly raise this (other than by gambling) when I noticed the Apprentice Trainee option on the course website. I made an enquiry and was at first disappointed to find out that it would cost £9,000.00 to my employer, less a bit of a governement subsidy. By sheer stroke of luck the rules change on 1st May and with funding will cost my employer just £900.00. Finally something has gone my way! My boss, notwishstanding all the poo I put him through, agreed to finance and support the appenticeship on the spot. He even said he would have paid the fill £9K! So hear we are. Come First of may I will probably the UK's oldest apprentice! I really feel extremely lucky and priveleged right now.

I mentioned this to Louis who promptly asked me to pass kis regards on to Alan Sugar. Kids are so sweet! It is also you son and daughter that I am doing this!

Have been contempating a clever sign off like Duncan's "stepping forward never back."

Perhaps "up and at them" or "letsby avenue." Neither are mine and suggestions welcome!

Mark

Hi Mark thanks for stopping by my diary.
It seems that now the fog is lifting your really starting to enjoy life.
I think it's quite easy to become comfortable in life and take easy street when we're just bothered about our next bet.
It's inspiring to see you're trying to turn your life around and I think you're on the right track and mindset to accomplish your desires.
All the best for your exams
And best wishes to you and your's

Deano

Dear Diary,

Today, marks the 50th consecutive day and longest period in 12 years that I have not placed any kind of bet.

I remain determined to to keep that monster, Addiction, behind me and with each day its shadow grows ever more faint.

I am content. I am grateful for my wonderful family and the support of my wife who refuses to look past who I really am. I appeciate that I am in the priveleged position of having a comfortable job and an employer who always has my back..

I am still very conscious about my financial position. The DMP is being rejigged and in a couple of months I should have no debts other than the mortgage and those debts in the DMP. I do worry about unexpected things cropping up to scupper the progress that I have made but I must remind myself that bad things happen in life and we need to ride them out without letting Addiction back out of its cage.

I thought I would be well and truly over Addiction by now however, it will clearly be a very long time before I do not absent mindly pick up my mobile phone for a second with a bet in mind or to feel a cold sweat when walking past the bookies.

I need to be patient, avoid complacency and enjoy the humble and normal things in life. That is all I ever needed.

Mark

Hey Markman, well done on smashing the 50 day mark and also well done on getting the funding for your course. I'm currently considering retraining and have a number of applications in the pipeline. As for the run, the best thing I can say is get out and do it, day one is the hardest and I have been putting that first run off for ages. I'm way overweight and its killing me, but I'm going to stick at it.

Great to hear Better Call Saul is only a month away, are you aware of a forum post on here about box sets that people should watch? If you can find it I have had a read and added a few shows to the list in my post on there. I've added a few that are well worth watching.

Keep up the good work and I will keep up to date with your progress.

Today Mark's 55 Days Gamble Free.

I am enjoying the financial and mental freedom far too much to even consider wanting to gamble.

At present I place gambling alonside crack or heroin on my list of things that I wish to indulge in. I am sure they would be great fun, but at the same time they would destroy me so using them is not even a consideration.

Today has been good. Kids dropped off to school on time for the umpteenth time in a row and 4 solid hour's work in the office so far.

I continue to tie up loose ends. Today I telephoned Northern Rock my mortgage lender for the first time in almost a year. My mortgage has been historically in arrears however I have always ensured my arrears were never more that two months so as to avoid them handing my account over to the legal department. I think I touched based with them in the nick of time as they were about to send a field agent over to the house which would have been a distaster as we are not there. Turns out there were only nominal arrears on the secured part of the mortgage which I paid on the spot and the unsecured part is in arrears to the tune of £800.00. I do not have to worry as they would not repossess on unsecured arrears only. I will need to call them in a week and make a formal arrangement to clear the unsecured arrears over the next few months but the relief is amazing. I no longer have to borrow the battery out of my daughter's mobile to replace the broken one in my old phone just to make sure that I was only getting the standard low lever chasers from Northern Rock and no escalated chasers! The fact that I now know that the my account is not in danger of being subject to legal action and that the chase phone calls will stop when an arrangement is made have taken a massive weight off my mind as is it Mrs Markman's!

I then paid my credit card today and noted that my available balance is enough to cover the payment I just made on the card, interest and the payment I made to Northern Rock earlier and my monthy budget was not hit at all, especially with the £10.30 I just found in my desk draw and the dictaphone I can sell for £30.00.

It is amazing how commercially tricky we can be in order to get or to withhold money to feed our addictions. I am now applying this complusive gambler financial wisdom to my everday financial affairs which at this rate will be bang in order.

Mark

Great to read how much of a productive day you have had Markman, so much has been achieved in your first 50 days, so much more is to come in the next 50 days. Keep it up!

Thanks again for your post Phil. Will check in on your diary this weekend.

Today marks the 58th consecutive day of freedom from Gambling Addictions and people are constantly telling me what a good mood I am in and even got a "it's great to have spoken to you" which I have not been graced with for a while.

Today I carried on tying up loose ends. This morning I called a close friend to whom I owe £1,000.00 and apologised for having wronged him. He is such a gentleman that he replied "not at all" as ever and would not hear that I had wronged him. As to paying him back his response was "whenever." It is wonderfully generous people like this who make me feel so ashamed of my past conduct and at the same time I would not be where I am without him as I would have collapsed and lost everything had he not supported me. I cannot wait until the summer when I turn up on his doorstep with the £1,000.00 cash in an envelope and take him out for a long overdue meal.

On Saturday I have my appointment with Northern Rock to go through my budget and agree a repayment plan for the arrears.

Until then it is work hard and play hard. Cannot wait for West Indies v Englan this afternoon - for all the right reasons of course!

Mark

Hey Mark, you are doing so well staying gf and getting the finances sorted...just wanted to give you a pat on the back 🙂

Two Months Gamble Free today. Enough Said.

Hey Mark, good luck with your couch to 5k, I'm really strugging with my knees so I'm dreading this Sundays run. I hope your knees cope with it better than mine are. Who knows the two of us could be lining up to do a marathon in the future! I was pleased with the cricket, its nice to see us winning again and I'm looking forward to the summer tests, I do prefer test match cricket.

Well done on the 2 months, I hope you enjoy the sport this weekend and I really hope the appointment at Northern Rock goes well.

Hi Markman,

Thank you for your kind post and support on my diary ☺

Well done on another day g free and keep building them up! You're doing great.

Sorry I'm not about on here a lot. Presently just downloading on my own diary as it seem to help but hardly read other threads....

I wish you well...just for today - stay safe!

S x

Day 63 Gamble Free. I must say the thought did cross my mind this week. Having access to even more excellent sports channels of late I really would have relished a bet. But my trousers are not ragged these days and I have no intention on being philanthropic to the bookmakers today. Mr Bookie can **** my ****! As for addiction, kicked firmly in the nuts and lying on the ground.

Oh dear, I have just used metaphor to personify my gambling addiction - clearly I have been a member of this forum for far too long!

Superb Markman - keeping those insidious, pesky, cynical bookies off your lawn with your blunderbus full of GF pellets at the ready. Oh for the joy of metaphor 🙂 !

Dear Diary,

Today marks the 73rd day of kicking the a-r-s-e out of addiction.

I am almost resembling something of a normal and functioning member or society. Very boring.

I have happily eeked out the first hour of the working day on the forum and have but a few hours to while away before the weekend.

I have worked very hard this week so have decided to treat myself to a day of looking busy and important but in all earnestness not actually doing anything at all.

Oh, I nearly forgot:

"Why am I a victim. Why do I keep doing this to myself. Why have I gambled every last penny. Why have I let my family down. How can I ever forgive myself. The poor children. Everyting is black and hopeless!"

NOT!

3 months ago this was me. 3 months later and I already know that I will not be returning to the quivering wreck of a loser again!

Markman 73DGF

Hi Markman.

Just wanted to say how lovely to read you are doing so well. It is so nice to look back a few months, shudder but then be so thankful and pleased that we have moved on, doing and feeling so much better. Long may it continue!

Take care and remain strong.

Our Lady