the secret

thoughts become things. I'm still trying to focus daily on what I want from the day rather than what I don't want. Positivity goes a long way.

So I've reached day six of not gambling, tomo is a big day for me as its a poker night and a Thursday. The number of times I've sat in my room typing late on a Thursday about losing lots of money that night and going back to day one. Not this time, I'm going to stay in tomo, read diarys and come on chat. My boss is off for a week and has left me in charge so its good experience, part of my plan to take over from her in the future coming along nicely. Ive not been well this week so I'm not playing football.

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​ive been taking mixers holiday advice and it looks like ill go to Barcelona in September, one more destination I really want to visit horray go me. I haven't even thought about smoking for a good couple of weeks and have saved 170 pounds so far a long with the health benefits. Id still like to go play poker but I feel I should only do this once every month or so to save enough money for my holiday plus fruit machines allways pull me in.

​actually thinking about it without the material things I would like ive already got all the things ive asked for for 2017 and beyond, job with progression check, smoke free life check, holidays once a year check

So I need a new more challenging unobtainable want to make it more challenging. From news till now ibve​

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That should have said from new years till now ive spent 120 pounds on gambling all in the space of three occasions. Now I would like to spend six pounds a month on poker and nothing more on gambling, no fruit machines, no casinos, that's it. I'll go to one night to keep in touch with mates and that's it. Sound fair ?

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If at first u don't succeed try again, what do u do if u fail 100 times. Idont want to be negative but I've spent 62 pounds on gambling this weekend. I will look into self excluding from casinos tomo and strengthen my blocks. Here we go again take 200. If I can succeed It will be a great thing.

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So I'm going on a road trip to France start of march and I have no money so my spending money will come from my next pay cheque. So three hundred to spend on holiday hopefully ill be able to do it. Note to self extra planning needed next time.

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Here I am a week later, ive played my weekly Monday, Tuesday and Thursday pub games, I spent twenty pounds on the buyins altogether and a further fifteen pounds on drinks. No money into fruit machines this week which is progress. Ive just signed up to another two years living with my parents to save up money. I know it is however a long time and it would be good to have my own place but i need to pay some money I owe them and this is the best way. I am going to France on Thursday and luckily I get paid on Tuesday well the 28th whatever day that is so that will give me my spending money then have a good tine and cut back on spending the rest of the month. My manager was saying how she personally wouldn't want to live with her parents and I can see her point and I would like to be independent however it is the most sensible thing to do and I'm not meeting any ladies at the mo so I'm not losing out . Ive just got my clothes sorted for the weekend and ill buy 200 euros on payday. Then I'm off work Wednesday thru to Monday back to work Tuesday. I would like to give thanks for the holiday and all the good times over the past month, ive had a good time and I will definitely enjoy France hopefully I wont injure myself.

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So holiday in France done back yesterday and back to work tomo. Boy did I have a good time. Snowboarded for one day and found an awesome pub with a dj at the top of the mountain dance about and drunk cider then cruised down the mountain very jolly. Also went out for some nice meals and generally enjoyed myself. I spent 500 on the whole weekend four days and that was spending wisely its like fifteen for a main meal and seven for a drink so pretty prisey. Really love travelling and I feel if I can stop my gambelling then ill have more for that.

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The last time I gambled was six days ago and that was just six pounds on poker and got a fiver back. I'm now going to a drum and bass festival on bank holiday Friday good Friday Easter. Ive spent all my months spending money on the holiday so ill stay in till pay day end of the month then spend quite a bit on that. End of this month ill buy some shelves for my bedroom happy days.

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So its been a tough evening but a positive one, ive been debating with my gambling mind all day with thoughts of going to casino on Friday I even sorted a lift there and back with mates. Ive come to the correct decision about not going and thought id pop back on here to write my thoughts. After work I set up a spreadsheet went through my online bank statements and looked up how much ive spent on gambling in the start of 2017. So far I had a really good January with no gambling then spent 68 pounds on poker through Feb and a further one hundred pounds on fruit machines. I spent in total on all going out and holiday two hundred January, four hundred Feb and already four hundred in march. So eight hundred year to date on holiday and going out.

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Actually its 1000 total so three hundred each month.ive had a holiday and would usually spend seven hundred on that so alls not that bad. I will tighten up over rest of this month . I'm going to write on my spreadsheet all my outgoings in an attempt to make myself more accountable for spending.

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so ive had a lovely weekend, i stayed in friday night then went to town saturday afternoon and bought some clothes, then went out for two drinks saturday night as my mate had an argument with his wife so i met up with him for a bit. Then today watched spurs anialate millwall, then been listening to the liverpool game hoping they do well for my fantasy team howver so far none of my players have any extra points. Looking at booking up a holiday for september soon so going to save up for that soon. Gambling wise i played poker on monday, tuesday and thursday this week which as i won on tuesday didnt cost me anything for the week. Then spent 84 ponuds this weekend on clothes 72 and beers 12. will buy shelves at end of the month......

I was happily on chat tonight then a friend text me about poker and a minute later I'm on the way down there. Ive played three times last week and bought clothes and been out for drinks and been on holiday last week I'm liv I'm nng way wag way way beyond my means. I owe my parents a lot of money and I'm not paying enough back. From today my new goal is to reduce my spending. I would like to spend alot less I will write up a budget tomo after work and come up with a plan. I would also like to keep my poker to once a week. I have played today so I will not play again this week that is my plan just need to action it.

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