The Start of my recovery

just a quick check in, things are still going well, I have been back in melbourne for 5 days now. No major urges, no gambling.

5 days off work.. 6 motnhs ago those days would have been spent in the casino. These past 5 days have been so enjoyable.

I am pleased with my progress, i am desperate to keep it up.

that is all for now.

once again just a quick check in really, i am pleased to say that i am still doing well. i have no urges or desires to gamble.

i have been spending alot of time with friends recently, having meals out, drinks, cinema and shopping trips.

all of which i would never have done a few months ago. i would make up some excuse and find myself sat at a blackjack table losing $$$$

have friends coming round for some food and a film tonight which will be good.

all in all i am doing well. i am determined to keep it up.

HI TALBS, your doing amazing and still sound really focused and on track. reading your posts helps me a lot in my own journey.

Enjoy your film and the company you deserve it

Jess 🙂

well it has been a week since my last diary post, i am doing well and remain gamble free.

I have made a few trips back to melbourne over the past few weeks in which i have had alot of time on my hands. this could have been spent down the casino spending every last $.

However it was infact spent socialising with friends, meals out, cinema, shopping..... and even dating ! Ha Funny i know.

6 months ago i had little interest in dating anyone, all of my free time was spent at the casino.... with the more time spent on my social life i am making new friends and even been on a few dates..... It is a real incentive to stay on track.

I am more determined than ever and the longer i abstain from gambling the better my life becomes.

i have lost count of days ... but we are almost half way through the year which is a huge milestone in itself.

will check in again soon

Well time for another check in and again pleased to say that i havent had a bet.

I actually decided to count the days without a single bet ..... and by chance today is day 150!!!

It feels great to have reached another milestone, the days and weeks seem to be racking up nicely, i hope one day to be talking about the months and years. but i know i have a long way to go yet.

i have been working really hard recently, which has kept me busy and helps pay off some of my debts. i really look forward to the day that i am debt free!

i have been planning my three weeks in thailand today and have managed to book all of my accomodation and flights for the three weeks, i have also put aside some spending money which feels great!

10 more days of hard work and then i am jetting off to warmer climates.

that will do for today... i will check in again in a few days,

Well I can't believe that it has been nearly 20 days since my last check in. Pleased to say that everything g is still going smoothly.

I am currently in thailand absolutely loving my time here. Just goes to show how much I have missed out on through gambling. I would never have been on such a holiday whilst gambling.

Will check in again when back in Australia!

Well still in thailand. One more night before I head back to Melbourne.

It has been an enjoyable trip and has reinforced that life is better without gambling. I would have never done this trip 6 months ago! All my spare money went to the casino.... Now I want to plan my next trip! I have the traveling bug... Not the gambling bug!

well nearly two months since my last post, i wish i could say that it has been uneventful but i guess the fact it has been two months we all know that it hasnt!

i have replapsed into my old ways, i have lost half of all my savings and lost alot of self respect for myself.

i am glad to get back on here and i am looking forward to a fresh start again!

Talbs

Sorry to read you have found yourself gambling again,tale the valuable lesson's your events will gift you.

As it is said many times

To repeat the same event over and over and expect a different outcome is truly a sign of madness.

That is it in a nutshell

the mantra we all live by whilst active

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP.

Turn that full circle again my friend.

To end take heart from the fact you still have savings,you stopped before losing the lot.

Duncs stepping forward never back

thanks for the words of encouragement,

i wish i could say that this hasnt taken a grip of me once again... but it sadly has.

since my last post i have lost yet more of my savings, which is a massive shame.

some positives to take ... i now feel like i have hit rock bottom yet again, i guess the only way is up,

i have lost alot of my savings, however still have some left and havent taken on any more debts.

i have still managed to make the payments for other bills and debts that i have been required to make.

today is day 0.

tomorrow is day 1 again and tomorrow i will not gamble.

well today is day 3, no significant urges to gamble.

Just pure realisation of what an idiot i have been. I lost myself in the addicitve spiral which is gambling.

i started off small and thought i could control it, before long i was getting greedy and making bigger bets. I lost and started to chase my losses.

I lost over half of my savings which i had managed to build during the 7 months of abstinance that i had managed and also lost a week of my life to this illness.

I lost a great deal and probably managed to build it back again..... and you guessed it i managed to lose it all.

Now i have come out of the other side of this i just feel stupid. i am not in any more debt which is a positive, i still have about 1/3 of my savings and a job.... things could be worse.

i have had a relaxing day today, sorted out some admin and have baked a pie.

seeing my girlfriend later who knows nothing of this. I met her during my period of abstinance and i just dont feel ready to tell her about my gambling past... and i guess present!!!

Day 8 and doing well!

i am slowly coming to terms with my most recent relapse. i havent had any urges to gamble .over the past week my head has cleared and i am filled with guilt and regret.

i have had a busy week with work and feel confident of getting back on the postive track that i was on a few weeks ago.

i will post again after the weekend