There is hope for a better tomorrow

Red Julie...It's the only drink that has that effect on me so I tend to stick to white/rose... but it was lovely.

I wasn't there but it sounds as though your incident in chat was just someone lashing out, we cg's are known to be short tempered but whatever it was Julie, don't dwell...forget about it, you are a good person (even if you're Irish lol).

Your kind offer didn't go missed Julie, thank you so much for caring.

Sending you cyber hugs.... no cheesecake 🙂 it's gone 🙂

Mari xx

Found a box of yellow french fancies....special offer from garage ...£1 🙂

What a find Rhoda! I am at the stage, that food does not taste like food...so I may have to try French fancies as an intervention!!

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Dear Diary,

Am just back from the GP. I have an inflammed sinus area (which I knew), but my breathing tract is also inflammed and that is what is causing the shortness of breathing..so that explains the difficulty in breathing. It explains so much of my physical discomfort right now. So I am back from the pharmacy, with potions and lotions and antibiotics. I have let work go until Monday. That was a hard and mighty decision, but self care must come before caring for others. Yes diary, I am slowly learning the hard way. I will admit that it takes the pressure off, knowing I don't have to go into either job before Monday. I am going to rest tomorrow and Friday. I have booked non-transferable but cheap seats to London on Saturday, so am going to try and rally to get down there for the day. If I could move them, I would, but it would be a complete waste of a bit of money, so hopefully I will be able to go.

Julie x

Well done Julie, kindness to self. Hope you are ok for Saturday.

Hopefully you will feel better soon when the medication kicks in. Enjoy London, i hope you go. Something to look forward to in a few days. I always leave you page feeling hungry....French Fancy's .......mmmnnnnnn

Dear Diary,

Greetings from the first class section of the London bound train. I could not have done this at the start of this year, when all my hard cash was going into an FOBT machine. Was difficult to get up this morning, I am not functioning at full tilt. The sinus infection is still there and intense at times, but hey ho...

Have a fabulous day everyone.

Stay safe.

Julie x

Ooo, I'll be looking out for purple trainers & a red nose as I make my way across the Metropolis via Waterloo & Euston in a bit...If you see a slightly crazed looking female in lairy pink cycling shorts & a red hi viz jacket, say Hi, don't just sprint off as fast as your little legs can carry you because I'll know 😉

Oooooo first class, get you Mrs!

Have an amazing time Julie....Sniff the snot...Stand tall and be proud!

Mari x

Have a wonderful journey Julie - First Class - you deserve that special treat!

Enjoy and have a wonderful g.f weekend.

Our Lady

Thanks ladies...ODAAT-I missed the shorts, d**n!!!!! It was such a lovely treat today. Really enjoyed my day. Knackered now.

Julie

******************************************************Warning******************************************************************************************

If you don't like reading ***, then you may want to look away now. This is my diary, it is not for everyone, but it is for me. The door is that way.

In life you meet all sorts of people, nice people, not so nice people, idiots....you get where I am going with this. I have learned very slowly and very very painfully sometimes, that you need to surround yourself with the best people, or people that are the best for you. By best, I am not talking about money (although it is nice to have a rich mate now and again). I have been examining my relationships today. I have deliberately left family out, as they are another counselling session altogether again. It is very important I believe that when things are not going well in a friendship, acquaintence or anyone that you interact with, examine, what benefit that person has to your life and if they have none, get rid sharpish! The unfortunate thing about people is, some drain you. It is about them and their issues, I have had a few friends like that, just hard work. Life is hard work enough without having people pull on your energy. Energy that could be better spent, like making yourself happy and being contented..

I also looked today at my invovlement in online forums. I have been on/off a user of online forums for many years, including here on Gamcare. The benefit of these forums are huge. In fact I will go so far as to say that in my recovery, Gamcare have really played a blinder. I am very grateful. But you come across on these pages, the keyboard warriors..Most of these can be ignored, they are just in their own sense of their world, and that is fine. Most can be bated away. Some though are persistant. It is moments like these, that my greatest invertion, a human fly swat comes into play. It works by just squashing what is zipping around your head, bothering you That said, the benefits of the forums fully outweigh the buzzing. You meet some great people...

Today has been an okay Sunday, am at work tomorrow. Then Annual Leave for a week.

Julie x

Have decided tonight that chat in the evening is not for me for a bit...As always there will be a time to return, but for now, I will choose to spend my evenings, focusing on myself and my recovery, I spend all day everyday, dealing with nonsense. There is absolutely no need to come to Gamcare to have the nonsense ensue again. There is one thing getting paid to listen to it, there is another on my own time. Life always has a way of working itself out.

Had a lovely exchange of texts tonight with a matey in recovery. While the content is private, they gave me great hope for the future. Hope for a decent person, who came un-stuck for whatever reason, and I am talking about me as well diary, not just them. But we fell into something that changed the direction of our lives. From what I can read, this person seems to have sought the help that they needed, gathered their family and friends around them and started to move forward. That is the real power that I have taken from Gamcare, the real people, realising they are in trouble, and reaching out ot fellow probelm gamblers for support. It really works.

Am going home on Wednesday, have just heard some not so good news about the health of my brother, but hopefully only a temporary issue.

Julie x

This evening I was humbled but anothers suffering, but their willingness to come and share a happy moment with me. I had a chippy tea on a picnic blanket on the grass, and shared some giggles, with someone who giggling does not come as natural. I am all packed and ready for home. Things took a bit of a serious turn again tonight with my brothers health. Through Gamcare I have bumped into some really lovely people, who are always there with that helping hand.. I had decided yesterday to 'self-exclude' myself from chat. I was a bit ashamed of the things that have happened over the last few days, and worried about the impression people had of me. Not to worry, I need Gamcare and all its functions like everyone else that comes here does. I need to focus on me and dump the things that I do not need. In life we are constantly learning, constantly evolving and constantly growing stronger...

I will be at home until next week, which is lovely...when I come back I need to sort my life out here, there are a few things that need tweeking...

Julie x

Hi Julie

Have a lovely time in your home town. The break will do you good I'm sure. Sometimes, all that is needed in life is to just tweet things here and there, to make us feel happier. As they say "the small things in life".

Thinking about you and your brother and hope all will be ok.

Take care and remain strong and positive.

Our Lady