This could end badly

The only advice I can give is stop now. stop before you lose the love of your life if you have or have not already found them. Gambling is destructive, and the longer you continue the more it will eat your inner peace. i wish you a lot of strength. Please stop, habd your finances over to someone you trust. If like me you are alone then limit your access to money

Hello A-non

Welcome to the forum.

Good advice above.

Gambling is a progressive addiction. Well done for recognizing that and taking positive action.

This site helps many and can help you too.

Best wishes

Glint

Thanks for your comments

I am married, nearly a year, no children yet...and he has no idea what I did. We don't share our finances but I feel like if it happens again I will need to tell him. I think he will walk. I'm using that as motivation.
I have read so many stories on here about losing family and thousands, I feel like I have taken the first few steps along the same road, praying I don't go any further
Hoping day 3 is a good one

I also wasn't told what was going on and it's a bitter pill. Finding out the hard way was a betrayal to me and the children, equivalent to an affair. There was something very important about him that he didn't tell those closest to him.

By not telling, the deceit continues, the damage is there, it's just that you know about it and he doesn't. However bad my husband may have felt, it didn't motivate him to give up because like you, he's an addict.

Real recovery involves changing things going forward, doing everything that it takes to change things. Starting with honesty.

CW

A-non wrote: Thanks for your comments I am married, nearly a year, no children yet...and he has no idea what I did. We don't share our finances but I feel like if it happens again I will need to tell him. I think he will walk. I'm using that as motivation. I have read so many stories on here about losing family and thousands, I feel like I have taken the first few steps along the same road, praying I don't go any further Hoping day 3 is a good one

Hi A-non

Gamcare forums are fortunate to have Half Life and CW who offer their experiences as partners of compulsive gamblers. It was tough 🙂 Tri

Thanks for your comments, I'll take all your advice on board
I have no intention of telling my husband and no intention of gambling again.
If I slip up I will admit all, your probably going to advise against it but that's my choice.

So far no urge to gamble today

Just thought I'd add, he knows I gamble on slot machines he just doesn't know I lost £500 on Friday
He knew I where I was and had he asked me I wouldn't have lied about the amount, he didn't ask and I didn't tell him. I know that's just as bad and I'm not making excuses.
I have spend my money and I regret it. If I do it again I'll give him my bank card.

Day 3

Today has been hard, not because I have had an urge to gamble but because I have had a lot to think about. Some comments and other diaries I have read have really made me think about my actions, consequences, routines and have made me question why I gamble and what I will do differently to make sure I stop.
It's quite scary

re SE, it is possible to exclude from the bingo hall. And there's blocking software and parental controls to prevent on line playing.

Making serious changes is a big deal but if playing bingo leads to playing slots in a culture of gambling, bingo will just wave temptation in your face. Friends tend to be like minded people that you have something in common with, perhaps it's time for a different circle as one part of your recovery? Similar to alcoholics being friendly with other alcoholics in a culture of pubs, bars and drinking, in recovery the circle of friends changes to the sort of people who socialise over coffee. I've heard a recovering gambler say that he wants to stay dry and therefore he avoids wet places.

CW

I come from a family of bingo-ers and so many of our family get togethers are at the bingo hall. Each of my parents love to play the slots and that's how I got in to it.
I am doing well tonight, I have the perfect opportunity to go and gamble but I choose not to. I have a few hours to myself, alone with access to cash and the ability to be sat in front of slots in 10 mins. I would usually have taken full advantage of it and most definitely would have lost another £100 or so.
Thinking about it now I really am shocked and embarrassed to have been sat at a machine feeding it my hard earned cash. How could I have been so stupid.

I have no cash on me at the moment and need to go and get £40 from an ATM. I have to drop the money along with my car at a friends to do an MOT for me tomorrow.
I would have used that as an excuse to myself to go and use the ATM at the hall and had a flutter whilst I was there.
Instead I am going to drive in the other direction to another ATM albeit further away.

Small victory

Day 4 in the bag

I have always picked up a scratchcard when I get petrol, I just got petrol and guess what
No scratchcard, another win

Good win 🙂 Those things are everywhere & it is willpower that is required to choose 'no' everytime!

Your response to rensonbob on your other thread set my alarm bells ringing because I started my illustrious gambling career with family, spent most of it on the Bingo slots until I pushed myself into the bookies by self excluding but not getting help! I understand your reluctance to tell your partner, I drip fed mine when I first started coming clean & although he'd know I had gambled, he was horrified @ a fraction of what I had spent so I never let him in on the real amount. I continued justifying my actions getting worse until I finally admitted to myself that I had a problem & I needed help! I broke my gambling (Time-Money-Location, remove 1 & you cannot gamble) triangle by surrendering my finances & finally broke a vicious cycle that I'd been in for nigh on 3 decades, goodness knows how many years of promising myself I was done with gambling & going right on doing it! We cannot win because we cannot stop so it's vital that you don't just rely on willpower!

Keep working on your brain & chalking up those victories - ODAAT

Thanks ODAAT

I'm so pleased I realised I have a problem and found this site. The comments and diaries I have read have helped so much.

We cannot win because we cannot stop

These words really hit home, so true.

My parents aren't together, never have been, so I have 2 families and both are big on bingo. Half of them love the slots but all seem to know when to stop. I don't (Friday made that clear)

I feel like I'll be ok from now till payday, that is my real test. Got a few weeks to go yet though

I'm pretty strong minded and have a lot of willpower but I don't think you need that if you truly want to stop something and are ready to quit. I'm not saying it'll be easy otherwise I wouldn't be here. I'm definitely ready to stop.
I know what the consequences will be if I don't, they are not good

No one is making me gamble, I chose to, It was my actions that lead me to this piont. I am accountable for my actions. I know what I must do to prevent it happening again.

Keeping a tally of the days helps me see my progress I'm 1 hour away from 5 days clean

I understand what people are saying about telling my husband but I'm not ready too. What works for others may not work for us. I'd like to deal with my issues myself. If I need his help or if I fail to stop then I will tell him.
So far so good, my way is working for me. I have made some positive changes over the last few days.