This time....

I need some advice folks. I've got the gambling under control but the feelings of losing so much money are haunting me. Sometimes I wake up feeling pretty depressed about it and thinking about all the things I could have done with the money.

I know what I need to do 'let it go' but could do with learning some techniques to help.

I think it's because of the huge debt that's there too. I am able to pay it off a bit every month but it's a constant reminder of what I did.

Does anyone have any advice?

What worked for me was documenting it in a spreadsheet. Pretty painful exercise but really worthwhile seeing the debt reduce monthly

Hi,

If you are paying interest or charges on the debt you could consider a debt management plan with Stepchange.

Best wishes

Thanks for the replies guys.

I think the spreadsheet is a good call. Will be good to see this thing reduce.

I'm paying interest free at the moment it's just the fact that the debt is there at all that gets me down. I guess it's one of the constant reminders of what an idiot I've been.

I think I need to take reassurance that the debt isn't increasing at least, it's now going in the right direction, down!

Mornings are the worse, feel ok at this precise moment in time.

Hi Tom , just to add to your last couple of posts , I actually like having that bit of debt there, it kinda makes me focus more and as you said it is going down because its work in progress , still don't feel happy that my stupidity caused it but were all human and all make mistakes , if its interest free and your able to keep doing it and make the repayments then there's no rush , recoverys for life my friend so just spread it so that its comfortable to live with !.

All the best buddy !

Thanks for the message Alan. The words of support from everyone really helps. I guess you're right. Humans do make mistakes, a life lesson for me this one. I suppose it could have been anything but it was gambling for me. At least I've woken up to it and am sorting it out. Also, if I never gamble again it will work out just fine.

Hi tom

We all have that pang of regret and sadness when we think of the money that we have lost but the key is to remember it is gone and to think of the positives - your gf and not building that debt up, your paying it off! Get the spreadsheet up and running and give yourself a pat on the back as you keep paying that money off! Your doing great!

Thank you Rose. Nearly 50 days gf which is big for me!

The next time I turn the computer on I will get the spreadsheet going. The thought of seeing the debt decrease is making me feel better about it. I'll also feel more in control. I'm looking forward to the bank holiday weekend. Got lots planned so there won't be any gambling. Have a good one everyone!

64 days done and no looking back. Paid another £500 off the debt this month. Looking back to those days of despair, I never want to go back to it. I've relapsed in the past many times but never come as far as this time, especially mentally. If anyone is reading this having lost hope, trust me, I was where you are. You can stop and rebuild your life. I know it's early days but so much has changed already.

If it works for you then that's absolutely fine mate. Those days will soon start to add up again. I remember when I was on single figures, I so wanted them to be higher to prove I could do it. But steady it went, up and up. Yes mate let's keep it at 64 days! Onwards and upwards.

Great post Tom and timely too - it's almost five weeks, the pain has dulled, I'm bored at work and REALLY fancy a go on some ridiculous slot on FOBT. I've been reading about relapsing, thought I was beyond that last week, then the thought has been building to just have a cheeky bet. Bought a sandwich I didn't want at lunchtime so that I could go next to the office and nowhere near a FOBT. Almost went a few times this afternoon and read the posts on here instead. Plan is to wait in office until I can just make the train and then I won't have time to bet on way home.

It's like being under siege when it gets like this. Will take it one minute at a time and hopefully the urge will weaken in the future.

The time immediately after loss of control is shameful, sickening, scary and every other S you can think of, but it keeps the urges in check. The triangle is essential to keep broken but any other techniques out there would be appreciated.

Great going Tom and others. I can pretty relate to everything that is said on here. Together we can beat this.

Hey WillDo and AnotherPunter, thanks for the comments. What's done it for me is my utter determination to quit this. After my last relapse where I lost 5k in just a few hours I knew this was the time. As time goes on it's easy to slip as the pain and suffering lessens if not diminishes altogether and you get used to having large debt stacked up from previous gambling sessions. This is when the 'nice' feelings enter your head, the 'I can do this', 'one more bet can't hurt'. Be strong, we all know where that one bet will lead, back to despair and guilt from giving in. Wins are temporary and the buzz from any wins we do get just pulls us in further until the chasing inevitably starts. Make that decision guys, don't let this b*****d gambling own you any longer.

So I'm 71 days gamble free. I feel so much better these days. The time I used to spend gambling has been filled with other hobbies, running being a major one.

I just want to put some perspective on my journey as it might help anyone new reading through my posts. The biggest thing with staying gamble free is knowing how to deal with the urges. I myself still get thoughts of gambling now that I'm feeling at one with the world again. The way gambling made me feel when I was winning I can only imagine is like taking some sort of drug. This is why it's important to always keep your guard up and always have the long term vision in mind. Mine is to pay off debts then move house. See, no room for gambling with those things on the list!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Had a cry to the other half at the weekend whilst telling her how this thing took over my life. She knew I'd lost money but not quite how much. Neither did she know the termoiI I'd been in for so long. I cried because I'm coming out the other side I feel. There's now things I want and was upset at how much money I'd wasted and how I let gambling get me. She was amazing, totally supportive. I feel I've made yet another step closer to leaving gambling behind. 80 days free and still counting.