This time....

Hi Tom, every step you take away from gambling can make you stronger so great work in coming clean 🙂

My crazy frustrating CG mother has always said to me something along the lines of "no good regretting the things you could have changed but didn't!"...Her addiction talks a lot of rubbish but this is something with some sustenance. I have absolutely no idea how much money I threw away, certainly over 6 figures (& I have even less desire to try & figure it out) but it's not the money that I struggled (past tense) with, it's the shame of letting myself get in so deep! I'd drive to 3 different supermarkets to save 10p...Goodness me if they'd wanted me to pay 5p for a bag then, I would have broken my one trip to/from the car rule to save it! I still regret what I became but as the fog clears, the shame becomes less debilitating! I have no useful suggestions on how to manage your financial regret, other than to say is be kind to you! GamCare may have some other suggestions if you ring the helpline!

Keep fighting - ODAAT

Hey ODATT

Feeling much better after my talk with the other half. Talking to her about the situation is helping me to finalise that chapter of my life and move on. Closure if you like. Agree, it's what gambling turned me into I despise. It's such a slow progressive addiction you almost don't see it coming. I'd been gambling for years but it only turned into a problem for the last two. I wasn't excited unless I was betting at least £1000, by biggest single bet ended up being £3500. Crazy when I read it back! I think twice before spending £20 these days.

Anyway, thanks for the message, I shall indeed keep going, I've come too far to go back.

176 days gamble free. Just thought I'd pop by and have a read and say hello. Gambling was such a big part of my life, and if I'm being really honest, I do miss the buzz. I don't miss the dispair, guilt and lack of sleep though. I still beat myself up thinking about all the money I've wasted but hey don't we all. Anyway, keep pushing on, onwards and upwards everyone. I'm happier not gambling I know that for sure.

Hi uncertain

The feeling of normality is defo a risk. Been there before and ended up doing another 20k (overall). Football was my vice so was happy to get through the Euros unscathed. We've got a new season starting soon so the guard needs to be well and truly up. I know all signs as have been there before. This is now my longest period gamble free in about 10 years. The last session I did 20k but managed to stop with 20k still in the bank and that money is still there. Overall I've deposited about 120k lost 70k. I have 15k debt which I'm paying off over time. It's a rediculous amount of money to lose but when you're in the gambling trance it's hard to stop. I'm concentrating on my hobbies now and paying off debts. Life is better without gambling but I do miss it. Luckily I've learned that it only leads to despair so for me it's about keeping healthy and abstaining.

Tom_2015 wrote:

Mornings are the worse time for me. I wake up every morning thinking how I've let everyone down and how the hell did I let things get to this. By about 8am I'm somehow stronger and start to feel positive about sorting it out and feeling things arn't all that bad, it's not as bad as it could have been. Anyway, today will be another day towards becoming debt free.

Wow this is exactly me. That sick feeling in a morning a few seconds after you wake. Horrible and don't want it again

It's time to admit a relapse.

Been gambling again for about 3 weeks. Been up 3-4K down 3-4K and finally settled on down 1k.

This relapse hasn't been as catastrophic as all my others, normally I'd be down 5-10k by the time the mist clears.

What was different this time though was the way it ended. Normally I'd stop when the loss become so great I just couldn't carry on. This time I was sitting in my car, parked up in a random place with 2k ready to be bet on a goal being scored in whatever game I saw fit. I pondered for about half an hour with a full on 'chase my loses' head on almost going for it to get at least even again. Bear in mind I'd been 2k up earlier in the day.

I just thought, you know what, this will kill you in the end, stop the madness right now.

I withdrew the 2k which is something I've never done before.

If I'd have won (which it turns out I would have done) I wouldn't have stopped there anyway so I don't care about that. All I care about is that I DECIDED TO STOP.

Feeling quite positive at the mo.

This gambling lark is hell.

Good day to you all.

good morning to all , another day for me without gambling , i have taken a few steps to help me out , i have got gamblock on my computer and also on my mobile phone , i really want to do this , i excluded myself from all the gambling house around my area , i have called ,WHEN THE FUN STOPS STOP and sent then my picture id , now all i need is a friend that i can talk to without judging me .