This time it's got to be the one

Welcome Annie . Great you have joined GamCare . It has really helped me . Wishing you success in your recovery . Stephen

Good luck Annie.

You've put in place great strategies to help you stop.

One of the many things that has helped me is counselling, don't know if you have tried it already but something to think about.

Margy x

Hi both

Thanks for your comments and support.I have spoken to an advisor on the netline here which was really helpful.I am finding the Gamcare forum is helping as i dont feel so alone and know that unfortunately there are others going through this too.There are lots of inspirational recovery stories and i hope one day mine will be too.For now tiny steps...Day5 no urges just pure disappointment for undoing all my hard work

'' if at first i dont succeed i take it as a lesson,a harsh one but a lesson none the less,its lifes lessons that help us succeed in the end''

Im off to running for my first session shortly ...the great outdoors and its totally free to enjoy!

Take care

Annie x

Day 6 ,.....

Does these feelings of shame get any easier? Ive hurt so many peoole and sone of them dont even know.

Need to carry on moving forwards and making itup to my family, they are so lovelyand dont deserve this.

Paid 100 extra off my massive debt today, that felt good instead of giving it to gambling

''Gambling the sure way of making nothing out of something''

Keep going Annie almost a week xxx

Dear diary

First week done, ive been here before this time its going to be different

Never give up on giving up

Few tears today, feel better now ,cant undo the done

X

Day 8

Much better day today and productive, applied for a second job to work at this gambling debt and will also keep me busy.

Had a lovely time playing and laughing with my little boy after work, makes you realise the best things in life are free.

Checking in day 9

Strange one today ... emotions all over the place.I cant stop crying i feel so guilty and ashamed.I am so determined this time, i will not waste any more of my life on this never again. Cant stop thinking how i could have lost everything for nothing.

Friend still in control of my finances which has been a blessing also has taken the pressure of me keeping all my debt worries to myself.

I am over the moon reading your diary Annie.

Get your tears out of your system. You are allowed to cry. You've been through so much.

Put your guilt and shame in the past.

You've gone 9 days without gambling. NINE DAYS!!!!

You go girl

love Margy xxx

Thank you so muchMargy,your post made me feel better and tgat i need to cut myselfsome slack.

I am locking the guilt away and throwing the key, i cant change the past but i can control my future and it wont be ruined.

Day 10 double figures now ,although ive been here before it will be different this time

Met a friend for coffee today was nice to just chat about normal things and not be consumed by the thoughts of online gambling

Sending strength and love to everyone on this journey, its not easy.

Annie x

Checking in day 11 .....

Thought of gambling makes me feel physically sick

Went to the cinema this morning as a family and had a lovely time. Still reading my Allen Carr stop gambling book- very interesting read.tackling the debt too ,it will take a long time to pay off but throwing every spare pound at it, the only way to get out of this mess is to get out of it not deeper into it.

Sounds like you're having a lovely day.

You are doing wonderfully.

It's great you have the support of your best friend and is really great you are doing positive things for yourself like starting running, that is something I need to do (not the running as such, but another social hobby for me).

You are doing all the right things. Keep on believing in yourself, it will get better.

Enjoy your gamble free Sunday 🙂

Thank you for your lovely comments whoami, this is terribly difficult journey i am overwhelmed by the support on this site it makes things much easier,may you continue to gain strength to stay gf

Well good morning diary slept better last night than i have in ages! Still worried about my debts but it will get better.

Off to work today busy day,then running club later. Actually managed to download a gambling therapy app that i had heard about last night on my phone, i was surprised as i have blocks and cant get on any website for over 12 years old or download anything either. Anyhow managed to download it and very informative, i know it wont be everyones cup of tea but there are mind excercises to complete to help your recovery as well as details for sources of support.

Hope everyone has a gentle day,stay strong and GF

Annie x

Morning diary

Got contacted bt the 2nd job i applied for-interview friday, will be tiring having two jobs but so determined to get out of this mess that i have single handedly created, if i dont keep busy or have a plan of action i start slipping but im proud to say ive had no time for that lately.my first hurdle was to get to 2 weeks and im almost there... one day at a time

Just checking in made it to two weeks! Next hurdle 28 days...come on i can do this i want to change how ive been living and get back to the old me,gambling takes so much away from you , not enjoyable, makes me ill why would i chose to do that again.. no thanks!