Hi I thought I would try and keep a diary I'm on day 2 gamble free I've not looked at any online sites or tried to sign up for 2 days now it's really hard in feeling lost and agitated that I have no escape now and worried I gamble when I get paid on Wed even thou I need it as need put things in storage and bills ect yet there still that nag in my head saying oh go on 50 pound won't hurt do it once a week but I know that's impossible I try to control it but it's controlling me I need to let go I have excluded from all sites now and thus spikes anxiety but I have to try and keep to starting recovery it's nit logical that I want to gamble  wed money away when at risk of bein homeless I think if I win it pay for everything but I know I wipo just lose it all I can't anyway as excluded but I'm also avoiding searching for online casinos and that's hard but I need to do this I know I'm getting treatment soon and thinking of joining g.a but scared to do that but I ready to recover and thought I keep a diary on here I'm hoping I manage today it's so hard and the urges are strong but I got to let goÂ
So I havnt wrote on the diary for couple of days I ler myself down yesterday I got lured in by false advertising deposited but then couldn't play I straight away asked for acount closure so I'm anoyed I got lurred in but I'm glad I stopped myself and realised my mistake I am goin g.a on Tuesday and hoping someone will help me put gam ban on my phone to stop me keep trying other sights I just can't do it anymore I'm on day 5 of not playing a active slot online game buti still angry with myself for trying joi another site it's so hard I've given up so many addictions but this is the hardest the anxiety unreal had a massive argument with mum yesterday so I slept all of Tuesday away and I can't sleep today as had get stuff in storage I'm oficsly no fixed address yet I still got the urge but I've stopped and I'm gonna learn from that blip and get gam ban and stick yo the journeyÂ
I feel silly today I was playing a skillz app game not realising it was gambling game I should of known as was still money involved I feel so stupid I let myself and mu. Down again but now I've got gam ban I can't keep looking and even thou this game distracted me it properly for the best even thou it wasn't a proper casino it just shows how addicted I was to any depositing without realising this counted ad the sans thing argh so I got start again but this time I got safety net
Hi Tigger37
Not heard from you for a couple of weeks. Hope your recovery is going well. It sounds like you've had a couple of little bumps in the road as this is all quite new to you but hopefully you're able to learn from it and keep going. Take care and keep posting.
Best wishes
Deirdre
Forum Admin
Hi Tigger37
Not heard from you for a couple of weeks. Hope your recovery is going well. It sounds like you've had a couple of little bumps in the road as this is all quite new to you but hopefully you're able to learn from it and keep going. Take care and keep posting.
Best wishes
Deirdre
Forum Admin
Hi Tigger37
Not heard from you for a couple of weeks. Hope your recovery is going well. It sounds like you've had a couple of little bumps in the road as this is all quite new to you but hopefully you're able to learn from it and keep going. Take care and keep posting.
Best wishes
Deirdre
Forum Admin
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