TiMe FoR cHaNgE

Hi AJ,

Kim xx

Happy birthday to you and may you enjoy many more as the new you!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have read your diary from when i first posted last year so am aware of your low times and how you have found the inner strength to be coming on here today and able to celebrate your success.

Here's raising my glass to you. All the best and future happiness. Joy xxxx

Well i had been gamble free for a while...then i dont know what happened...

i lost £4000 this weekend, all on the credit cards i had spent the last 2 yrs paying off, i went into that dark place again today, where i al can think about is money money money

ive slipped before, and i know how to deal with it, but i went over 8 months without going near a poker table, and in one weekend i lost it all again.

this time my thoughts are a bit more calculated, it has sunk in that this cant continue. i just needed a good kicking and this has given it to me, why i went back to the poker table i dont know, i thought maybe i could win back what id lost...what a joke..

anyway....i start yet again on this endless road, what do i need to do to beat this?

(((((((AJ))))))

what do you need to do?

only you can answer that...but...it is *my* belief that...as soon as we discover that what we WERE doing didn't work (a slip occurs) ... we need to change what we're doing..

i have no idea what you were doing before...but...some things that one might consider adding to their recovery, after a slip...

attending g.a. meetings regularly

get a sponsor

work the steps

begin some other recovery program

begin seeing a counsellor

remain an active participant in some kind of fellowship (online community?)

there is a saying. "If you want to Change your life the first thing you have to do is change your life."

love,

peg

Hi AJ just read that you have relapsed and whilst trying to kick this habbit most of us do, the last time i relapsed i won at first but let me explain.

I played a little roulette one night and won maybe 1000 i thought ok so gamblings not so bad lost a little the next few days and won on a couple of ocassions so i thought i would just carry on gambling as and when i wanted ( all the pain i had previously suffered was a milllion miles away - or so i thought ) how little i knew it was just around the corner. i went out one day and won 700 in the betting shop went for dinner with friends and even paid the bill heck i was on a roll, i got really drunk and thought what the hell and went to the casino i lost that night about £4000 and it hit me real hard. but the one thing i have learnt from this is that its not a bad thing financially yes it is but if you use the relapses to make you stronger and realise what triggers you off then it can be a good thing .

I hope you find the answers you need as to how you can go on from here.

I find chatting helps and if you have never used it try going to safeharbor where there is a 24/7 chatroom

its at sfcghub.com and click on compulsive gambler chatroom and enter a chatname at the bottom and away you go

hope to chat or post again soon

bobby

Hi AJ, it was a lapse and it has made you realise that long term you can do this but occasionally you are going to have to face "dangerous" zones and read the signs and put safety measures in place. Cut up those credit cards again and leave your bank card at work. If you have no access to money when those urges come, it will give you time to reflect and remember that like the majority of us here, the reason gambling became such an issue is becos once we start we cant stop, even when we are winning.

One blip in 8 months is nothing to be ashamed and by coming back on here shows you know you can continue to be gamble free.

Forget those losses they are irrelevant in the long term scheme of things. It is the fact you can go for a long period of time and you can again, even longer. All the best Jan x

Hello AJ

I am disappointed for YOU. It is a blip, you can pick yourself up and start again, you know now, that it can be done.

Thinking of you

Rosemary

thanks for all the posts, its good to be able to randomly come back and 'see' familiar faces still offering support 🙂

had a stumble, but its been easier to understand what ive done and what i now need to (or not) do to pick myself up and carry on.

past few days have been difficult with urges and anxiety, but the worst is over now, i havent felt like this in months, and definatelt dont want to again! ill be ok financially this month now

thanks again

I think it takes great inner strength to come back from a slip and post on here AJ, well done my friend. I was gamble free last year for 6 months then relapsed quite badly, but my foolish pride stopped me from coming back here and sharing straight away. It was a few months before I summoned up the courage to post on here again, but it has been the best thing that has happened to me. I'm now 3 months gamble free again and enjoying life as it should be. I hope to read more of your posts, God Bless, John.

read my diary back today and made me cry

i havent cried in months, i dont know if its because im sad at what ive done, or happy that its all behind me....either way, i know for a fact it has changed my life forever

havent had a holiday in years, cant wait til january, i should have a little bit of money to get away 🙂

What a good idea to read about your life back then. You now know that you do not want to go back there. You have come a long way and I said back then that I was proud of you, I still am, you got a grip and pulled yourself out of your troubles. I always look for your posts.

Keep going AJ

Rosemary

Hello A J, glad you are doing well, it took courage to start again but you are coming back with renewed confidence. January will be here before you know it and you will be proud you have money to enjoy your hols and still be gamble free. You did it before you can do it again. all the best Jan

for anyone reading this, i just want you to know i dont feel bad about what ive done or written below...im not looking for the usual great support that you guys give.....i just need to log this experience....

ok.....so i got paid on friday...the toughest time for a gambler...and i thought to myself...let me just put a little bit on poker and see how i go..

to cut the long story short...i lost just over £2000 in 6 hrs today...i saved for 6 months for that little by little and its gone in 6 hrs!

but...i COULD have put in more.....i COULD have carried on chasing....but i didnt

and for some strange reason, im proud of myself for having the control to stop

while i was playing, all those dark feelings came back.....i ignored my friends phone calls and text messages, ive been holed up in my room all day...ive had no food, no drink, hell i havent got out of bed yet!

but...it hit hard...i never want to feel like this again....ive been through a good spot without gambling, and life has been good.....i dont want to go back to poker 24/7.....and you know what.....i think ive finally learned my lesson...

i actually felt sick playing it.....money isnt this issue....it was my own and i can get through til next payday.....my credit cards are untouched

a harsh way to learn it.....but i now know for sure, i will never go back to a poker table.....and this isnt the post gamble blues.....im actually happy about what i did today

im not encouraging anyone to do the same...anyone who know my story will tell you of my ups and downs.....and strangley enough this is an up....

i met a beautiful girl the past few weeks...all i could think about was how i was ignoring her calls and how unfair it was to her.....

harsh lesson learned today.....but its time to get out of bed, shower, and take that girl out on town 🙂

i know now.....ill never gamble again 🙂

AJ, i just want to reach out to you.

not really sure what to say to you, except that in some strange way i think you are right, sometimes it takes a sobering lesson such as this to bring us to our senses.

maybe this is where you can really draw the line, and if you have met a special lady - well who knows

love

aunty carol

xx

Hello AJ

Well, when I first started reading the post my heart sank and then I read on. I hope things just get better for you. I hope you and your girl friend had a great evening.

Take care

Rosemary x