Time to change

Hi Westsider,

Welcome to the forum you will get lots of support here from people who are like you and trying to achieve the same thing staying gamble free.

Keep posting and read lots of diarys it will give you some inspiration that this recovery journey is worth it.

Keep strong, one day at a time

Blondie day 30

Thanks for the support Blondie. I've been reading some of the diaries on here and it proves you can beat this addiction. Congratulations on 30 days.

Today i'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. Regretting my actions, thinking about what I could have done with the money. I can still have some fun next month. But I'm going to have to budget for the first time. I've never been good with money and this has to change.

I feel gambling has made me very self centred. I'm not really thinking about other people enough. Hopefully by stopping I can be more generous and more switched on about what's going on in other peoples lives.

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.

HI Westsider,

Those feelings are normal, i stil feel them from time to time but once the fog of gambling is lifted from your mind things will become clearer.

You will here it lots on here but i will share it with you anyway lol. There are 2 days of the week that we have no business in, yesterday and tomorrow. Yesterday is gone and you cant change that, and tomorrow isnt here yet tackle that when it comes, what i tell myself everyday is today i can make the right choice and not gamble, it works for me.

Gambling changes us into people we are not, selfish, self centred people with no time for friends or family or ourselves, for me it hasnt just been about stopping gambling and holding on for dear life its been about dealing with the things i have hid from through gambling and trying to make amends.

Take it in your stride westsider, One day at a time.

I wish you strength in your continued journey.

Blondie day 31

So it's pay day. Money sitting in my account. I'm temped to have a little gamble maybe one last £100 and see how I get on. I've been in this situation before and it never works like that. I'm not going to gamble today.

Instead I'm paying for a festival I want to go to this summer. Buying a train ticket for next weekend and planning how I'm going to spend the rest. I'm going for a long walk and then doing some gardening before work.

In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.

HI Westsider,

A postive post , hold that thought, and keep it there. Your doing so well and should be proud of what you have achieved so far.

I am 32 days gamble free today and i passed the first milestone of a pay day without gambling 2 weeks ago, I look at my balance and if im honest its scares me because i still think "What am i going to do with that", but i know as i continue in my recovery there are so many things i want to do.

I bought a world map off amazon and I have some flags, ive stuck a pin in the places i want to go to. And im setting myself some little goals to achieve, it feels good.

Keep strong westsider the possibilities are endless.

Blondie

Score so far Blondie=32, gambling demons a big fat zero

Try and fill your day up mate with other worth while things , things we might have put to one side when gambling took hold.

I find gardening and getting the house in order takes up a huge amount of time and can concentrate my efforts and spend my money on things to do with the house.

Today I was looking at garden furniture and thought wow that looks expensive but then realised I would put twice that in the fobt without even batting an eyelid.

Good Luck my friend , keep posting and stay strong

So I've made it through another day. I had some dark trippy dreams last night, didn't sleep well & was late for work, not a great start to the morning.

I was thinking about gambling for most of the day. Thinking I should just keep going, things will get better its part of my life. You have to ride the ups and down!

Then I got a text from my Mum saying she had got me some flowers for my garden. And I remembered its not just me my gambling hurt, it was also my family. After that the urges faded. I've had a few glasses of wine and I'm feeling better. Definitely NO gambling today.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Well done westsider.

I am on 42 days... after 4 weeks it does change... it doesn't go away, but if you can keep youe wages away from gambling... and see the benefits from doing so... it's another nail in the coffin so to speak.

Well done on today... a great achievement.. stay strong

Jon

Had a lazy day in the sun. Still thinking about gambling but the thoughts were less intense than yesterday. Had a fun night out last night and didn't spend too much money.

Just got to keep going, keep reading the forum and not get complacent. I really want to stop.

Thanks to everybody for their support

Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest.

Hi, welcome to this site, early days yet you are doing very well. The longer you don't gamble the happier you'll become, keep getting through the days as best you can, try and put as much distance between yourself and your last bet. Get as many barriers in place as possible for those moments when the urges are strong and good luck. Keep posting, keep strong, Steve.

Hey Westsider,

Was reading through your diary and I think you have done well to keep the urges at bay and spend your money on something worthwhile rather than taking a chance to increase your money and then probably just spend your winnings. It took me so long to realise that i was a compulsive gambler I would win upto 800 pounds then just put it all back in thinking i would win more but it would just carry on everytime i walked away it was with less. I had a lot to convess to myself and admit to my missus i was a full time gambler I think the thing that hurt most was lying to her now she has stuck with me and helping me through this horrible nightmare. I am now 13 days gamble free. I hope you have the will and barriers in place and support to carry on gamble free.

I saw a saying you had put about failing. I got one for you it goes "You haven't truly failed anything until you've given up" so just remember that keep strong ok mate

All the best

Ricky 🙂

Instead of playing poker. I've come on here to write. This time of day is always full of urges. Not overwhelming, just persistent, they flutter in and out of my head. I think I'm finding hard to at the moment because I don't want to stop as much as I have done in the past. I've been doing better this year & I'm not coming from a rock bottom.

Anyway my days been pretty good. Still loving the weather. Got a good job, fun friends. Why worry myself and risk messing things up again. So NO gambling It's been nearly a week.

I need to do more with my life, I'm creative and poetic. I'm not living up to my potential. Tomorrow I'm going to have a busy day. Do things I've been putting off for ages.

Energy and persistence allow you to conquer all things.

your doing really well westsider and i couldnt agree with your post more,life is much to short and preicious to waste another second on gambling

Well done.

Blondie day 35

Really struggling today. I have the day off work and all I'm thinking about is gambling. It's doing my head in. I can't afford to gamble, I have too many things planned. I need the money. It's not worth the risk.

I'm going to get out of the house and get drunk. I no that doesn't sound like a good idea, but I would prefer to indulge in that vice. It's a lot cheaper.

I need to calm down and do this. If I can do this I can do anything. I'm trying to remind myself of the dark days. I can't go back. I won't go back.

What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.