Time to stop!

Well done Steve,

Great to see you have started a diary!!

I will be checking in to see how your doing!!

Please keep posting eh......

Col ;o)

Hi Steve, first thing you need to realise is that you are not cured but in abstinence!!!from gambling. I think this is why you have gone back to gambling after a few days/weeks. We have all done it, got complacent and think we are strong enough to have just that one go and it aint happening!

Ok we dont need to ram it in our brains that it is for life as that can seem a daunting and almost impossible task. Therefore, one day at a time but no complacency and you will do fine.

Hope you will be posting on here and in a few months we will be toasting each other! good luck Joy x

It feels amazing this morning to have woken up after a good nights sleep. No worrying about how i've got to get to the post before my wife in the morning so I can hide anything that I might want to keep from her, or even worrying about transferring money between accounts to make my losses seem smaller. One thing that has just struck me though is the effort and brain power I put into hiding my addiction, if I put that effort into other areas of my life instead I think i'll be ok.

This is day 2 and although i'm feeling aprehensive i'm taking on board all the advice on here and just concentrating on today.

Thanks for all your support.

Steve.

I felt so good this morning, but as the day has worn on I have felt vulnerable on a few occassions.

I suppose firstly I should mention that I like routine, and my old routine on a Saturday would involve a trip to the bookies to place bets on football, racing, or both. After this I would normally come home and maybe play for a few hours on online slots.

Today instead I decided to go and see some of my family(who I didn't really make enough time for before), and then go out for a meal with my wife while the kids have gone to their Dad's. I didn't have the courage to tell my Mum and Dad what i've done cos they didn't really know I had a problem.

The hard bit came when I went out for a meal. I ordered the food from the bar and on my way back got an incredibally large urge to play on the fruits. I didn't, but it really showed me how I don't think sometimes, and how easy it would have been.

I also need some help with something i've been thinking about. I've always played the lottery for 1 or 2 quid a week, I don't think this is a problem for me.Do you think that it is a problem if I carry it on?

I'm also worried about being back at work 2moro. I work in a bingo hall(I know hardly the best place for me, but I really enjoy my job), and I get time between shifts where I would normally nip to the bookies. Any advice on how to stay away?

It feels like a very long road all of a sudden.

Steve.

Hi Steve, I know some people have their triggers which lead them to gamble, but I have to admit buying a lottery ticket is not one for me to worry about. Because my hubbys friends dad won the lottery 4 yrs ago I suppose I am forever hoping my turn will come!!

My trigger would be to be in an environment where machines were so as these are mainly sold in newsagents I feel you would be okay.

Also it is a good idea to change your routine so stick with it and you will find it gets easier.

good luck, you can do this... Joy xx

Thanks Joy.

I am drawing a lot of inspiration from this site. Had a long chat with my wife about our finances tonight and also a bit about the way she feels. Starting to understand a bit better now.

Thanks for your reply.

Here's to Day 3.

Steve.

Hi Steve!

I had a lottery crisis too! Wanted to get an "A" in recovery, and had a heart attack because i realised i still had a ticket. When i posted about it, some said it was STILL gambling, "don't do it", others said, "it's only the lottery, don't worry". On one of the other forums there is a discussion about it. Funnily enough, i had never given lottery tickets much thought - don't check when they are drawn, don't even look at the numbers, only renew them if I go to the newsagent for something else... and three weeks later on, thst hasn't changed - so, i reckon, for me its pretty safe. However, if i was to start to develop a bit of an obsession with it, then definitely it would make me vulnerable to other forms of gambling. I did decide, when i had my little crisis, to ignore the lottery until I calmed down, then decide what to do. Maybe it's a good idea to leave the lottery decision until you are feeling a little less new?

Good luck, Sweetie,

Kerrie

Thanks for your advice Kerrie, it's much appreciated.

Well done by the way on your achievement, you should feel really proud.

I don't know what your poison was but mine was online slots and because Gamblock won't work on my computer I decided to self-exclude myself from the sites I used 3 days ago. I asked them to e-mail me to confirm that they have done this, and not one has done so yet. Seems that they don't take responsible gaming seriously.

Anyway, Day 3 just started and back to work today. Taking a magazine to read between shifts instead of being tempted to go to the bookies.

One day at a time hey!!!

Steve.

Hi steve

i used to work in a bingo hall. one of the best jobs i ever had - i loved it. it also killed 2 birds with one stone. having a job and not being able to play the bandits in there. unfortunately i did just find other ways. i've been thinking alot about things to do instead of and when tempted to gamble. its hard, its like i've forgotten the life i had before gambling! but i'm getting there, am gonna make a list later today of things i can do instead of gambling. just a few thoughts. glad you're here steve, take care, claire x

Thanks for your post Claire. It's nice to know their are people who have been through what i'm going through.

I'm trying to take some advise from some other posts i've read, mainly that we should try to find new(harmless!!) hobbies to replace the void that gambling left, I'm gonna try reading a lot more.

Thanks again.

Steve.

I keep putting myself in total denial. I keep falling off the wagon. I admitted to myself nearly two years ago that I have a problem, yet I can't seem to go more than a few months without gambling, and when I do gamble, I gamble money I haven't got.

I managed to go three months without gambling and managed to get my finances sorted, although I still owed money I was comfortable. Then I blew it all again.

Has anyone any advice cos I feel an absolute mess.

Steve have you done anything apart from log on here? Don't get me wrong this site is very good but when I first have up it wasn't enough fell off the wagon and lost everything. Its in my diary! I started attending a counsellor and that still wasn't enough so I added GA to my recovery and although placed a stigma on this as I was probably still in denial, it has been the making of my recovery. I realise I can't do this on my own and in GA it's all about support from people who have all been where you are. You can't beat this on your own, reach out and embrace the help that is available. Best of luck and i hope you keep posting so i can follow your success!

Day 2. Have resisted obvious saturday urges (bookies etc..), feeling confident that I won't bet online. Hope this feeling continues...

Hi Steve

I read through your posts that you can't go any longer than a couple of months and then you gamble again. This may be a key to you getting a grip on your addiction. Ask yourself how long you want to go before yu consider the problem solved!

Truth is we are never cured! You have to learn to live with the addiction and living one day at a time instead of thinking months etc. Once you get that you can work on maintaining your reovery on a daily basis. It isn't easy but it is well worth having once you get there. I never thought I would be where I am now so keep trying and I'm sure you'll succeed. Might be an idea to tell your partner too as this should be done for you and you alone, not to save things in our lives. Onl my opinions but hope you get there.

Take care

Steve E