Curreently on hold to the bank trying to restructure my finances. I am a compulsive gambler and probably have been for years. I live it all in secret. I am the type who would outwardly (in front of other people) have no sympathy for someone like me. However inside i know what a crippling illness I have and hide.
I generally gamble on blackjack or horses. I reckon I have lost 100k or more in the last 10 years. I have a string of debts I am constanty resructuring. I actually earn a very good salary of over 100000 but I never have anything. My wife is now v suspicious.
People from the outside think money is no issue for me. Everything I earn is juggled about on a monthly basis. I have lost circa 1800 this week. I know I can never earn back what I have lost so I need to draw a line in the sand. I am surrently 37 years ol and have about 40000 debt. I know I can pay it off in 3 years and start afresh at 40. However I need to stop and hope a diary I can write a few days a week will be theraputic. 2nd july 2014 is day 1. Thanks
Well almost hometime. a time when i quite often have an hour on blackjack or a horse bet before turning up home late and miserable and normally poorer. Even last night I nipped out to get some fuel. Instinctively picked up my debit card ( I try to leave it at home) and proceeded to blow 400 on a FOBT and 200 on a hort priced favourite. Went home 20 minutes later the price of a holiday poorer.
My head is telling me I can win it back tonight. HOwever I know I need to get home without popping into the bookies. The urge is strong but il get home. Bye for now
Hi nick 11. Hope you got home ok and did not give in to the urges? You need to be 100% committed otherwise it will not happen. I am on day 92 without a bet, it's been hard but I feel good for it. Similar to you it will take me around 3 years to be debt free. My wife has been a rock and I am so lucky!
All the best mate. Stay strong
Hi nick. Your story is very similar to my own. I also have a well paid job, everyone thinks I'm well off and don't struggle for money. The fact is, I've been living a secret life for 11 years and I very rarely have any money in my pocket. I gamble until my account is down to zero. And then I gamble on credit. You need to stop now or that 40k debt will just turn into 100k debt and you will feel even lower than you do now.
All the best. Just take it one day at a time. You can do it.
Hi nick. Your story is very similar to my own. I also have a well paid job, everyone thinks I'm well off and don't struggle for money. The fact is, I've been living a secret life for 11 years and I very rarely have any money in my pocket. I gamble until my account is down to zero. And then I gamble on credit. You need to stop now or that 40k debt will just turn into 100k debt and you will feel even lower than you do now.
All the best. Just take it one day at a time. You can do it.
Rick/ Jay
Thanks for the words. Got home didn't gamble. Nipped to get something from the shop and again didn't pop in for a flutter. All online accounts I have had are permanently excluded. Off to London for work tomorrow and will leave my debit card in tbe car and only take my credit card where I have blocked cad withdrawls. Day one done and day two thought about. However I've been here before !
Thanks Rick. Let's not even think of what lifestyle we have deprived ourselves of because of this illness eh!!
Think I have got through day 2. Had a wobble at lunch time when I had some spare time and was ready to spend the 60 I had on me. However I jumped on a tube and not thought about it since . However I have gone days and even weeks before before I have fallen off the wagon. Currently sat on the waterside of the the river Thames enjoying a beer. Onwards and upwards!!
Hi Nick. I have deprived myself of a fantastic lifestyle because of this obsession, I've been living the type of lifestyle as someone on the dole because every spare penny has gone on gambling. We need to use the thought of the lifestyle we could enjoy, as inspiration to kick this destructive habit. It will be a long journey to get back on track but the sooner we start it, the sooner we can get there. I'm tired of letting people down and making up lie after lie to explain where all the money has gone. I'm sure you are too.
Best of luck mate. And well done on getting through day 2. Keep it up!
Hi Nick,
Hope you enjoy that beer on the Thames?
I think whatever gambling habits we have we are all the same and we live a life of lies and deception. I too and considered by many to have plenty of money in the bank, both my husband and I have very well paid jobs and we should both be living a life of luxury. Unfortunately because of my gambling we are living a life of struggling and paying back debts and not having the standard of living that we were so used to.
Our lives will go back to that standard in 3 years too if I totally abstain from gambling.
These urges are the hardest to deal with and you have to put strategies in place to deal with them. Self exclude from the bookies, Casinos etc, put blocks on your PC and go to GA where you will find a wealth of support and encouragement to stop.
I am not in a good place to preach at the moment but I can only speak from experience how difficult the journey is to stop and totally abstain.
We have to remember the triangle of how we can gamble and that is Time, Money and Location, take one of them out and we have won. We cant have just one bet because one bet leads to another and another and another....
Keep posting on this site, keep a diary and take advice as it is all from people who definitely know how destructive this vile addiciton is.
Best wishes for your recovery
Hope x
Hi nick
Welcome aboard this great site
Very well done for coming on here and admitting to yourself you have become addicted to this self destructive addiction
That is the first positive move
Don't think too far ahead take one day at a time with gambling family and debt it's so more easier that way Rome was not built in one day you have to let go of your losses and then you can start to live in the real world again and believe me it's better than sinking even lower into the sad unreal world of self destruction
Your life is now and it is your choice to have a good standard of living
Best wishes
Suzanne x
Day through for through with no issues!
I have been to the golf driving range a lot mind!
Seems easier so far by being able to write in here.
How is everyone else getting on!
Thanks for the kind words also!
Day 4 completed. I've found that if I keep busy I am ok. However I know there are tough times ahead. The purpose of writing here defo helps.
Hi Nick,
As all of us on here can relate to your story, just remember life without gambling can be done. I didn't think it could be but here i am 108 days gamble free and really enjoying life. I am a 41 year old Golf Club Prosessional and have gambled all my life until now. It's amazing how much money you save when u don't gamble. I have managed to save 6.5k in 3 months and i dont earn anyway near 100k a year. if you stop now you can be debt free and still be younger than i am now. What a great incentive mate!!!!!
You can do it.
Remember you can never win at gambling because we can never stop!
Keep the golf swing ticking over.
Steve
Day 5 done and dusted.
Congratulations too Delboy. Just read your diary and you have done amazing
Any tips on a snap Hook ?
Hi nick
You are doing sooo well and a new week starts
Stay strong and win one day at a time
Best wishes
Suzanne x
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