Today it stops

Hi Ads. Respect to you for an honest post and I wish you all the best in your new life. You will not regret it. Will power alone won’t necessarily work so I d recommend self exclusion online using gam stop if online betting was your thing and make sure you can’t access any money at times when you are susceptible to urges. The Grand National annoys me. Horses have never been my thing but feel that the bookmakers use the National to make gambling socially acceptable. Best wishes mate.

Paulscottb wrote:

Hi Ads. Respect to you for an honest post and I wish you all the best in your new life. You will not regret it. Will power alone won’t necessarily work so I d recommend self exclusion online using gam stop if online betting was your thing and make sure you can’t access any money at times when you are susceptible to urges. The Grand National annoys me. Horses have never been my thing but feel that the bookmakers use the National to make gambling socially acceptable. Best wishes mate.

Thank you mate, I have actually done the gam stop thing about 3 months ago so haven't gambled a penny online since. It's the bookies for me as there's 3 or 4 on my way home from work. Really should self exclude myself from them...

Hi Ads6419,

I really recommend you do self-exclude from the bookies, you can do it here: https://self-exclusion.co.uk/

You perhaps also want to consider changing your route from work. Anything that helps you come away from the routine that enables gambling.

Please feel free to call the Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or the Neltine here for further advice on strategies and blocks.

Wishing you all the best in your recovery.

Eva

Forum Admin

Hi mate,

Well done for finding this place. Does your girlfriend know about your debt? Don’t beat yourself up about it. I’m in a similar amount of debt due to gambling. They say everyone in life is good at something, it appears due to our debts that gambling isn’t that thing. So as long as you don’t gamble you won’t add to that. Being able to pay off 600 a month is some good going. But you have to be realstic as you have a life to lead, so it needs to be manageable so you don’t feel like your breaking your back for nothing each month. My debt now gets paid each month and yes there are a few things I can’t have because of that but overall I’m still able to lead a good standard of life. There are debt advice helplines. Use them gamcare can recommend them.

The thing is this is an illness and it will only get progressively worst unless you tackle this full on. You need to come clean with your family and girlfriend about everything. If you don’t it gives you opportunity to continue leaving this double life and it will only be a matter of time until this lie will be discovered. I was in the completely same situation. Mine started getting worse just before I got married, kept it a secret and the debts hidden until two years down the line when my wife was on maternity with our first child. I couldn’t take it anymore and confessed my debts was getting unmanageable and it was just a matter of time before she found out. I thought she would leave me and somehow she has stayed with me and supports me, same with my parents absolutely they was distraught and angry at first but I’m not working on myself. Open about finances, blocks in place, attending ga and communicating. It feels so good not having the weight of the world on my shoulders even though I still do have guilt about what happened.

Have you ever been to GA? GA has helped me remarkably and there I have found solutions how to live a life without pondering of when and how I’m going to place my next bet. It’s not easy but we are all capable of it if we accept it and get the support required to treat this illness.

It’s your life mate and what you do is completely up to you. We are on here no matter what.

Keep us up to date mate.

OAU

Onwardsandupwards wrote:

Hi mate,

Well done for finding this place. Does your girlfriend know about your debt? Don’t beat yourself up about it. I’m in a similar amount of debt due to gambling. They say everyone in life is good at something, it appears due to our debts that gambling isn’t that thing. So as long as you don’t gamble you won’t add to that. Being able to pay off 600 a month is some good going. But you have to be realstic as you have a life to lead, so it needs to be manageable so you don’t feel like your breaking your back for nothing each month. My debt now gets paid each month and yes there are a few things I can’t have because of that but overall I’m still able to lead a good standard of life. There are debt advice helplines. Use them gamcare can recommend them.

The thing is this is an illness and it will only get progressively worst unless you tackle this full on. You need to come clean with your family and girlfriend about everything. If you don’t it gives you opportunity to continue leaving this double life and it will only be a matter of time until this lie will be discovered. I was in the completely same situation. Mine started getting worse just before I got married, kept it a secret and the debts hidden until two years down the line when my wife was on maternity with our first child. I couldn’t take it anymore and confessed my debts was getting unmanageable and it was just a matter of time before she found out. I thought she would leave me and somehow she has stayed with me and supports me, same with my parents absolutely they was distraught and angry at first but I’m not working on myself. Open about finances, blocks in place, attending ga and communicating. It feels so good not having the weight of the world on my shoulders even though I still do have guilt about what happened.

Have you ever been to GA? GA has helped me remarkably and there I have found solutions how to live a life without pondering of when and how I’m going to place my next bet. It’s not easy but we are all capable of it if we accept it and get the support required to treat this illness.

It’s your life mate and what you do is completely up to you. We are on here no matter what.

Keep us up to date mate.

OAU

Thanks for the reply and thoughtful words OAU, I was reading your thread actually a little bit ago. Hope you're doing well mate! I'll be honest it made me smile when you updated yours and that everyone was supporting you, so glad you got the worst bit out the way.

My girlfriend does know about the debt. She knows I used to gamble and have debt from that but I did say I've stopped but this past 6 months or so I've been worse than ever.

I know there's a GA meet every Thursday near me and I was going to go a few weeks back but haven't plucked up the courage yet. It's on my list though and I will go in the next few weeks.

Agree with what you say, £600 might be too optimistic cos there's no point having nothing left and having no life. But either way I hope it's like 3 years of getting it paid off then I can actually save (never saved in my life)!

I can see its 100% an illness. If I have a big bet on football I'd be sat watching something with my girlfriend but my mind would be elsewhere literally just thinking about the bet and checking scores. It's no life and I know myself it makes me irritable and moody.

Something just clicked in my head this morning and after reading through everyone's stories I really want to break through this. Going to take it day by day but yeah will keep you updated!

Hello ads and welcome to the forum :)) .

Weve all been wher you are my friend and as the Fobt's were my major downfall I can empathise just how bad it can get and just how much they suck you in :(( .

All of our story's are pretty much the same and it's good that youv'e sought some help in at least coming here so well done for that alone .

At the moment your gambling addicted mind is working overtime I assume ? , questions going around in your head " Do I really have a problem " and 2 if I could just have one big win I'd get it all back and then stop " Maybe , maybe not ? but I ytried to stop for many years before actually stopping simply because I wouldn't admit to myself and more importantly those closest to me that I really did have a problem . Looking for loan's to gamble is just not a healthy way to live my friend I know because I've walked in your shoes for many years , seeking fund's to please my addiction and that will be just the tip of the Iceburg if you don't address this sooner rather than later and 16 k in debt will seem like nothing before long as it just spiralls .

Gambling makes us think and feel different alway's promising so much but delivering so little in return , it gives you some winning's which will make you feel that you could actually earn a living from this ? and enough near misses that keep you coming back for more ? .

Stopping gambling for good is a really scary thought so just take it one day at a time ( at least for now ) and take peoples advice that's offered ( you may want to have alook at mixers thread at the top of the page called " Want to do something read this " ) it's full of good advice on the thing's that will keep you safe along the way :)) .

This place is full of good like minded folk who are only too happy to share with you so just reach out when you need and someone will usually pop up :)) .

I wish you well my friend and will I'm sure talk to you soon :))

All the best

Alan

A 9 wrote:

Hello ads and welcome to the forum :)) .

Weve all been wher you are my friend and as the Fobt's were my major downfall I can empathise just how bad it can get and just how much they suck you in :(( .

All of our story's are pretty much the same and it's good that youv'e sought some help in at least coming here so well done for that alone .

At the moment your gambling addicted mind is working overtime I assume ? , questions going around in your head " Do I really have a problem " and 2 if I could just have one big win I'd get it all back and then stop " Maybe , maybe not ? but I ytried to stop for many years before actually stopping simply because I wouldn't admit to myself and more importantly those closest to me that I really did have a problem . Looking for loan's to gamble is just not a healthy way to live my friend I know because I've walked in your shoes for many years , seeking fund's to please my addiction and that will be just the tip of the Iceburg if you don't address this sooner rather than later and 16 k in debt will seem like nothing before long as it just spiralls .

Gambling makes us think and feel different alway's promising so much but delivering so little in return , it gives you some winning's which will make you feel that you could actually earn a living from this ? and enough near misses that keep you coming back for more ? .

Stopping gambling for good is a really scary thought so just take it one day at a time ( at least for now ) and take peoples advice that's offered ( you may want to have alook at mixers thread at the top of the page called " Want to do something read this " ) it's full of good advice on the thing's that will keep you safe along the way :)) .

This place is full of good like minded folk who are only too happy to share with you so just reach out when you need and someone will usually pop up :)) .

I wish you well my friend and will I'm sure talk to you soon :))

All the best

Alan

Hey Alan!

Thanks for the advice. It feels to go know there are other people out there dealing with the same thing. A non gambler could never understand that mindset so it's hard for any friends or family to really understand.

I didn't bet yesterday and felt great. Waking up in the morning without that sinking feeling of how much you lost the day before.

You were spot on when you said the mentality is one big win to pay off the debts. But thinking about it rationally, I'd be much more likely losing more money than winning £16k in some sort of super bet.

Day 2 today and feeling positive!!

Hi Ads,

Well done for getting through yesterday and your kind words. Your in the right place and hope you give GA a go. It’s really not that daunting once you’ve managed to make it through then doors for the first time and will find like minded people there, as on here who just want to help. Will keep dropping in.

Wise words from Alan as usual. The penny has only just dropped that you use to be Alan 135 and did post on my wall, when I first joined back in 11/16. Sadly I learnt the hard way and instead of taking the steps recommended by you and the others, I didn’t and it took me to get in to three times more debt, more lies, wasted time and wasted energy to finally realise that I couldn’t do it on my own. Glad you are well.

Thank you

OAU

Hi again ads :))

That mentality thing's just crazy mate .

When I look back now at playing the FOBT's I think how stupid I was , honestly when you think that I'd stand there and put hundreds of pound's through one of those machines in the hope of winning at best £500 ? w*f's that all about ? , would they make me rich beyond my wildest dreams or change my life by giving me that 500 once in a blue moon ? ...absolutely not mate , all I ever ended up feeling was miserable while all the time trying to cover losses up so I wouldn't be found out .

I'd play at the casino too and even walked out of there one night with about seven and a half grand in my pocket but as our story always goes blew it all back within day's as I thought I was invincible and on a winning streak ? .

The saying in here is that " We cannot win because we cannot stop " and that's sooo true mate :(( .

Well done on not having a punt yesterday , it can be quite a test when there's a big meeting on for a lot of us on here but " It's just another race on just another day really " and although at times I've had day's along the way where I kinda though that ....Mmmmh ? just one bet wouldn't hurt ? .. you resist that urge and wake up the next day as you said knowing you didn't do it and have money left in your pocket where there wouldn't have been any had you given in.... and that makes it all worth it :)) .

Can you name maybe 3 worthwhile purchases youv'e made on the back of a gambling win , maybe holiday's ? weekend's away ? car , new kitchen ? ......... I certainly can't .... and that's over a 40yr gambling carreer .........Nuff said really :)) .

Have a good evening buddy :))

Alan

A 9 wrote:

Hi again ads :))

That mentality thing's just crazy mate .

When I look back now at playing the FOBT's I think how stupid I was , honestly when you think that I'd stand there and put hundreds of pound's through one of those machines in the hope of winning at best £500 ? w*f's that all about ? , would they make me rich beyond my wildest dreams or change my life by giving me that 500 once in a blue moon ? ...absolutely not mate , all I ever ended up feeling was miserable while all the time trying to cover losses up so I wouldn't be found out .

I'd play at the casino too and even walked out of there one night with about seven and a half grand in my pocket but as our story always goes blew it all back within day's as I thought I was invincible and on a winning streak ? .

The saying in here is that " We cannot win because we cannot stop " and that's sooo true mate :(( .

Well done on not having a punt yesterday , it can be quite a test when there's a big meeting on for a lot of us on here but " It's just another race on just another day really " and although at times I've had day's along the way where I kinda though that ....Mmmmh ? just one bet wouldn't hurt ? .. you resist that urge and wake up the next day as you said knowing you didn't do it and have money left in your pocket where there wouldn't have been any had you given in.... and that makes it all worth it :)) .

Can you name maybe 3 worthwhile purchases youv'e made on the back of a gambling win , maybe holiday's ? weekend's away ? car , new kitchen ? ......... I certainly can't .... and that's over a 40yr gambling carreer .........Nuff said really :)) .

Have a good evening buddy :))

Alan

So true Alan! Not chasing those stupid jackpots anymore.

Day 3 and feeling great!!!

11 days gamble free. 

Today is payday and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted 

Must stay strong 

Your story is almost identical to mine. I'm 20 years old, have about 7k debt, and I'm paying £300 a month, also saving a bit of money at the same time. Well done for 11 days. I can't seem to get past a week at the moment.