Was ВЈ50k, now £14k in debt May 1st 2015 day one

Hi Dave,

Been thinking of you last few days (story with your wife) that is. I keep arguing so much with my partner and its mainly me moaning!! I feel so bad because i love her so much and all we seem to do is argue. I have a go at her about allsorts. Hope you've turned a corner, I need to work on my behaviour towards mine. I think everyone has one of these obsessive personalities and hers is shopping!! I can be too hard sometimes though, i moan at her for buying a box of ice creams for a tenner and that is a starting bet for me in a bookies, forecast on the dogs or something. Crazy life.

Nearly hit that 1 year mark mate, really hoping you can stay clean from here on in. All the best mate

Keith

i know exactly what you ve been going through with your wife dave.it could have been me writing your diary recently.in fact it still gets casted up about my past gambling exploits and how im on my last chance. i suppose our partners have every right to have a right moan though friend..very well done on getting through all this time bet free. i will hopefully be there to congratulate you and welcome you to the one year bet free club.best wishes. w.P

Day 331

Still no gambling so all is good

Had a ok ish xmas, but now I am not feeling well at all due to a stomach bug!!

Stay strong guys

Day 335

Happy new year all, 2011 was a big year of change in my life and I am hoping 2012 will be the year I finally become debt free.....!!!!!

Feb 1st 2012 is my 1 year of not gambling, it is soooo close now I can nearly smell it, this will be without a doubt the biggest aceivement in my life ever.

Keep going guys

Day 340

Still going strong guys, I walked past a laddy tonight and no one was in there, walked back past 2 hours later and again no one was in there, I am sensing more and more people are seeing sense, what do u think.

Cannot wait to hit the 12 month mark!!!!!!!!!

Day 345

Been really stressed latey due to work and home life, but I am happy to report I did not go seeking pleasure through gambling. Instead I have had a massive headache that will not go away. I think also I am waiting to hear what my annual bonus amount wil be from work and it keeps getting delayed, i need 9k to pay off the reminder of my credit cards and loans. When I look back I was in 50k worth of debt, and somehow I have managed to get to this stage, I just want to know if my bonus will cover it and then I will feel like I have suceeded what I started out to do, not gamble and pay off all debts. If this happens then I feel like I can really start living again.

I hope you are all still doing well

Day 350

I have just found out my bonus has been delayed by one month, uggggggggghhhhhhhhhh I just want to scream about this. I really need this money to pay of debts and to give some money to my wife who is also stressing about debts she has. I have just been on her laptop and checked what she has been looking at recently, good news is she has been looking at gamcare website, so she is still looking out for me, but she also typed into google yesterday, I hate myself and I want to die. This has really hit me hard, she has been really low lately, I thought it was due to finance problems she has but maybe it is deeper then this? I am going to confront her tonight with my findings and hopefully get to the bottom of it, as this is not a good place to be in for her. I am guessing I have caused this stress on her, so I need to put this right.

I still find it hard to tell the truth about certain things, as I am worried I will upset her, maybe I need to just be honest about everything?? I am not saying I lie, but sometimes bend the truth to what I think she wants to hear, I think this is an attribute of a gambler and I am going to have to work hard to get this out of my system. I do not want my wife feeling down, she is one of the biggest reasons I have stopped gambling, and I fear i will crumble back to my stupid ways if she were to leave or do anything stupid to herself. I can see it ending up in an argument tonight, but I really have to confront her on this one.

Keep going people, together we can ruin the gambling industry by staying away

Hi Dave

Not any of my business here but "confront" might not be the best strategy. Maybe just ask her how she's feeling and have a chat about it. honesty is 100% key to my recovery as it takes the power out of sneaking around. You have to want to do this for you and no other reason. Doing ir for someone else is thin ice in my opinion. Hope all goes well and the bonus has been held up for one reason or another. When it is with you it will be with you. One day at a time you will get through this.

Take care

Thanks smiler

We talked earlier and she admitted she resented me for all the debt we are in,and she finds it hard not to shout t me. At least I know now, but deep down I knew this anyway. I have sat tonight and shown her where we will be financily very soon, but she said you have told me this so many times before, this tim it is different though as I have properly stopped gambling, not like before when i stopped for a week made promises then buckled.

Hopefully soon I can prove to her, then all will be better

Day 359

Hi guys, sorry I have not been on for a while, I have been spo busy working I have not had time. I am happy to report though I have still not gambled, and I am now only 3 days away from one year. Yesterday one year ago, was the turning point of my life, a friend of mine was killed and it was his funeral, it made me relize how short life could be, and how I ad wasted so much of sat in the bookies etc. In fact one year ago yesterday was my last real blowout in the bookies, I remember losing in the region of £1600 in about 3 hours. I am going to celebrate on the 1st of Feb, as one year on I am a different person, more relaed, focused and nearly out of debt!!!

Have a great weekend all

1 year today!!!!!!!!

So I have done it, 1 year ago today I stopped gambling, it has gone so quick that I actually can't believe it is true!

I will be back later to update you on my life one year on, and why everyone should stop gambling

Pleased for you matey. More info on what you did would be much appreciated. what did you change etc!

Reagrds

So one year today, I wrote my first blog on here. I was in a very very bad place, my life revolved around gambling, I was addicted. I made a decision that I would never gamble again, it was really hard to start with, but as the hours turned into days, then weeks, months it got easier. I have no thoughts of gambling now at all, only sometimes when I see an advert or go past a bookies, but I always ahve a little chuckle to myself about these places now,!!

So how have I managed to go a year without gambling ? The truth is I have kept myself busy, told my close family all about it and as you watch your debts decrease, and you start being able to buy things for your kids etc you just start to feel so much happier about life. I swear a big part of gambling addiction is habit, you get used to doing it at certain times, so what I did was fill that time with other things, walking, fitness, playing with kids etc all things that cost nothing. When you have at proper look around where you live you will be amazed at how many things you can do for free and enjoy them!

I hope that 1st Feb 2013 I will also be sat here celebrating 2 years, good luck to you newbies on here, you can do it

Hello davebs26, I have not posted on your diary before and only occasionally post on the forum but just wanted to pop in and say congratulations on your one year anniversary gambling free! You must feel amazing. I am miles behind you - I am day 27!! Like you though I am determined that this will be it for me and although I do not have a diary I read others here religiously and get inspiration from lots of you. Well done and I will be following right behind you in 2012...

Hi Dave

Firstly thanks for your support and secondly a big well done on achieving a total year of abstinence from gambling. I'm sure your life as improved dramatically as a result of not gambling, I know mine has and I'm no where near going a whole year without a bet.

Just remember to keep the focus, you never know when the demons might show their ugly faces. Here's to another gamble free year for you and I'm not gonna let anyone down this time.

All the best

Keith